BM's off to court
To recap, I am not worried about what BM says she is going to do, but it does make DH upset. She is the one who is going to call CPS because SS is allergic to my BD's cat.
My timeline was off on my initial blog. SS left our house on a Sunday afternoon. BM took him to the ER on a Monday afternoon. And then again on that Friday. She says he is allergic to our cat and developed pneumonia and asthma from it.
She has now threatened that she is going to get a CO to have it removed and that she is going to seek damages from ME over lost wages and bills for these visits to the ER. I'm not worried about it but it does distress DH.
She mailed me the 2 discharge papers from the visits but a couple things are missing. They only list the medication issued and the Monday one says stay away from cats for 2 weeks. But he was also tested for influenza and got X-rays but the results weren't on the sheet.
I think he is supposed to visit again this weekend but I am sure she won't withhold him. She will just send him and then call the cops.
My blog also reminded me that she has said he is allergic for years and said she was sending a special pillow and bedding and to keep the bedroom door closed. I do keep his room closed when he isn't here. But she has never sent the bedding or any medication with him all this time so that is suspicious. I dismissed the allergy claims after he came time and again with no precautions.
I've asked DH again about scheduling a doctor appointment for him.
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If it is just two weeks how
If it is just two weeks how many visits is that? Does he visit every weekend or every other one?
For two weeks with a doctors note, I would make some sort of arrangements to at least clean the house of cat hair and keep the cat confined somewhere away from the rest of the house for ss visit.
Then after that just go back to how things were previously as it seems there was no order to stay away from cats for longer than that.
This is a classic case of a BM hearing what she wants to hear from a doctor and not actually listening to the words being said (or reading the words written down). My sd's mother used to do this all the time. So glad we live thousands of miles away from her now and sd's health seems to have 'miraculously' improved since living with us.
He is supposed to visit EOWe
He is supposed to visit EOWe but last weekend was Thanksgiving holiday and wasn't DH's holiday this year so she was visiting relatives and DH didn't get SS. So it has been over 2 weeks since he was last here.
I agree about cleaning the house well and am going to look for an air purifier as well.
Don't get an ion air
Don't get an ion air purifier--that makes asthma worse.
He is 15
He is 15
When she says 'SS is allergic
When she says 'SS is allergic to cats so I am sending special bedding with him each visit to sleep on and medication to take. Can you please make sure his door is closed and vacuumed?"
We do keep his door closed and vacuumed, like she requested.
She has never sent bedding with or any medication for all these years.
He doesn't show symptoms when he is here.
I realize they can blow up after he leaves but since she is so sketchy on this whole situation, I want real answers to what is going on before we lose BD's cat.
What I don't get..... BM says
What I don't get..... BM says kid has allergies, she has the meds for it, but she refuse to tell Dad what the allergies are just simply the cat.... and she refuse to send meds with kid.... just get rid of the cat..
really sounds to me like DD will not have an animal, maybe SS is begging BM for a cat himself
Do a trial. Send kitty on a
Do a trial. Send kitty on a little cat vacation the next time skid comes over. clean house.... Then monitor skid. And bio mom. DO NOT TELL WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. Let skid think the cat is still in the house...just hiding away.
See what happens
I'm sorry but I will not send
I'm sorry but I will not send my animals on holiday just because some one is allergic, I will also not expect that from any one .... I would rather tell BM fine kid stays with you 100% of the time Dad will collect him for fun days but he will always sleep in your house..... }:)
I guess the OP will just have
I guess the OP will just have to give away her cat, burn her house down, and start over again. Thanks for the useful input, HRNYC!
Why has DH not taken kid to
Why has DH not taken kid to DR to get a real diagnosis? He needs to do that asap and then proceed from there.
This is a weird situation. As a SM, I would NEVER get rid of one of my fur babies for a skid. Dh would have to figure something out but it would not involve getting rid of one of my babies.
BUUUT, as a BM, I would be livid if my kid was having to go to a house where he got sick every time he went because he is allergic to the cat.
So that goes back to my first sentence since there seems to be some confusion if the kid is actually allergic or not. Dad takes skid to get tested ASAP.
^^^this. as i mentioned on
^^^this.
as i mentioned on one of her previous blogs, i did have to rehome two of my furbabies due to oss' allergy. but i witnessed the allergy symptoms firsthand. if the ss here has not shown significant symptoms WHILE IN OP's home, it sounds suspicious to me. that $#!t usually starts pretty quickly, especially if he's ever handled the cat or laid on the couch where the cat may have slept.
either way, the dh REALLY needs to schedule a dr's appt.
We had this exact same
We had this exact same situation. We even spent 15000 to completely redo the basement so my SS could have his own place with no allergens. In the end, we still ended up giving our doggy away. One my kids and I had for almost 7 years because my SS/BM gave my DH the ultimatum that it was either him or the dog.
After months of stress, I re-homed my dog. A year later SS stopped coming over completely. It has been one of the many things I am unable to forgive BM and my SS for. I still cry when I think about that pup.
There were a lot more factors
There were a lot more factors that I did not mention so you are jumping to conclusions here. It was a mild allergy at best. He had more of a reaction to certain pollen for christ's sake. What really rubbed salt in the wound was when BM got a dog herself a few months after my SS was living with her full-time. Please try to find excuses for that.
My brother-in-law had a cat
My brother-in-law had a cat and a dog that my SS played with in the past so we did not think twice about it. BM just used my pup to create a lot of drama. She was successful unfortunately.
We did an allergy test and he had more serious reactions to other things than he did to dander. We were told a lot of people have a mild reaction to pet dander/saliva. But nothing he had was serious enough to even medicate.
Still, we completely renovated the basement like SS wanted. It still was not good enough for him though.
Thanks, I'll keep that open
Thanks, I'll keep that open as one of my options.
If you read my other blog, you would realize I am hurting for everyone, SS included. I don't want him sick. I want to work on a solution.
But feel free to paint me with a broad stroke because I want proof before we 'put a bullet in the cat' like she suggested. I'm ok with your assumptions.
Both my skids are allergic to
Both my skids are allergic to my cats. They first thing they do when they get here is take an allergy pill, I keep them in the medicine cabinet just for them.
SS(25) has slept on the couch and has survived.
No rehoming of animals
No rehoming of animals without evidence directly from the allergist. Especially emotional support animals. Does your DD have a therapist who would be willing to write a recommendation that the cat NOT be removed for the health of your DD? If so you can take that to the judge and say, we are concerned for the health of both children, but as Dd's need for this animal is documented, SS has shown no allergy symptoms while in our home, and BM has REFUSED to give any sort of official documentation from the allergist, we see the demand to remove the cat as unfounded and a malicious attempt to injure an innocent child's emotional health.