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Stepdaughter, i must be the problem right?

Steveo's picture

Submitted by Steveo on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 6:16pm

My name is steve, I have been married for 6 years and have two daughter's 6 and 8. My third daughter, my step daughter is 13. My relationship with her is horrendous. I can barley stand to be in the same room with her. She is disrespectful, spoiled, just plain nasty. She has had an attitude with me since I decided to wait on any adoption proceedings. Her father is non existent, he never calls or sends cards. For my daughter, she claims to be ok with this. I suspect this is not the case.
Either way, the turmoil in my home makes me wonder if the relationship with my wife is going to survive. If I truly loved my wife I would find a way to navigate around my step daughter, right...,....

Comments

JustAgirl42's picture

Submitted by JustAgirl42 on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 6:41pm

If your wife truly loved you, she would do something about all those negative things that you listed about your stepdaughter.

Have you voiced your concerns with her and come up with any solutions?

furkidsforme's picture

Submitted by furkidsforme on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 9:41pm

My god... I'd be a royal ass to you as well if you told me you wanted to adopt me and then decided 'Nah..... maybe later.'

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Sun, 09/18/2016 - 9:48pm

^^^This^^^ The girl probably feels like she has been abandoned twice. No wonder she has an attitude.

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Mon, 09/19/2016 - 8:13am

I can see why she is upset if you initially told her you were going to adopt her and then suddenly changed your mind, what? That is cruel.

But, if she/you are acting like this, regardless, both of you have subconsciously made the decision to leave this relationship. Better now, than after you ADOPT somebody!

I would plan my future accordingly, because I am certain the BM has lost a lot of confidence in your relationship, as well, given your serious change of heart!

Annoyed1's picture

Submitted by Annoyed1 on Mon, 09/19/2016 - 11:40am

Omg!!! Do NOT adopt this child!!!! If you're saying that you're not sure your marriage is going to survive, you'll be stuck paying child support on a kid that's not even yours! I know many mothers who've conned the step dad into doing this. Now, they pay for kids who aren't theirs. I'd wait until she's 18, and if you still want to adopt her then, and vice versa, then go for it. Step dads are too nice sometimes.