Last month, I blogged about how our drama with BM will never end, and some of you folks were so gracious in your encouragement. Thank you so much for that. I have learned about myself that I need to hear that it's not just me perceiving some of these things as completely crazy, because I'm so far in that I doubt myself regularly.

Last month, I was complaining about the quack therapist we were being forced to use. That's been resolved! DH called her out for disclosing information to BM's attorney without authorization and for overbilling our insurance (Tricare) and reported her on both accounts. He warned her ahead of time that he had concerns about both issues, he requested the appropriate records (which weren't provided), and then she fired him.

I was surprised at how little drama that created, honestly. I suspect it's because BM is still on her best court behavior, because there still isn't an order in place! We've literally had something like 10 drafts since the end of June, and BM is completely ridiculous. It's a HC agreement, so all the details have to be VERY clear.

For example, one of our issues was that BM needs to be showing her support for visitation by dropping the kids off with us at the start of parenting time. Everything in the agreement (holidays, etc.) has a 6 PM start and a 9 AM end. Because she doesn't want to do transportation at all (she does it when the kids are with her, so she shouldn't have to do anything for parenting time), she's refusing to do a 6 PM drop off, because it might not work with her schedule. They actually proposed "the mother will drop off the children at 6:30 PM, or as soon thereafter as she is able."

DH's dropoff time is 9 AM (or beginning of school). No exceptions.

Uh no.

And of course, with that draft comes an e-mail from her attorney to our attorney and the GAL saying that BM doesn't want a firm time because DH will file a show cause against her if she's late. DH, who has never been anything other than reasonable since the beginning... The one BM filed CRIMINAL CONTEMPT charges against because he didn't pay a bill that she never provided him. And who filed to restrict DH's parenting time to EOWE. And who filed for 100% legal custody. As I told DH, she doesn't want accountability, so she will keep pushing her narrative, and it's up to him to correct it. (I'm concerned the GAL will start to believe her warped version of reality.)

That said, this is DH's last stand. We have fought for a decent agreement that we can depend on to try to keep the crazy at bay. We both know nothing will really do that, but I think we both need it to feel OK with walking away at some point in the future.

Ironically, with the holiday schedule they agreed to as part of this, DH's parenting percentage is actually higher than it was before, for better or worse.

Meanwhile, in day-to-day skid land, it's really hard for me not to resent the living hell out of these kids. DH fights every day for them, and they could care less. They treat him like crap, they treat me like crap, and they're generally unpleasant to be around. SS (almost 7) is only interested in being at our house if no one disciplines him and if he has an electronic. SD 11 is only interested in being at our house because we don't expect her to take care of her brother when she's there, so she can lock herself in her room. My therapist is pretty much looking at me like I'm an idiot for not divorcing my husband over it all, and some days I think I really might be an idiot for staying. And bless his heart, DH is so miserable with all the conflict, he just wants it to go away, and it won't.