Is your job not a job where you can say "Hey, I have a family emergency, I need to leave ASAP"? especially for an impromptu "meeting"? And I'm wondering if you have access to a computer at work, or a co worker's phone? I mean even if my phone dropped and went black at just the exact time to make this story work.... I would get to a computer and google the numbers I needed to call, and use a land line or coworker's phone to make other arrangements.

But I'm skeptical as to the validity of this story... the storm is just too perfect if you know what I mean.

IMHO, there is a big difference between helping in a one time emergency and being a habitual helper. I don't know your situation, but I get the impression your DH wanted to you to help on a regular basis and you said no. Now he's punishing you by refusing to help you out just this once. That's within his rights, but petty in my opinion. The question you need to answer is if the shoe was on the other foot would you have helped him?

Frankly that level of pettiness would not sit well with me. I don't think steps should routinely do childcare (unless they want to) but I also can't imagine a marriage where there is no help to the other partner at all. Where does it end? If your kid was seriously injured would he refuse to take them to the ED?

I'd be more concerned with DH using my son as an example to punish me. I think that is pretty crappy. I don't do for my skids (except SS) and I don't even really like them but I would never do something to purposely hurt them, to teach DH a lesson or give him a taste of his own medicine.

If I can't rely on my DH in an emergency (and him same for me) then I would be rethinking my marriage. I can do bad all on my own.

why are you married to him? Seriously, if this is the state of your marriage, why are you there. Your son is not going to appreciate your still being married at this time.

I totally get the job/child conflicts. You made the best call you could at the time.

Is there anyway to get your son to his trip?

why can't you take off work now and drive your son? Seriously, I get the bossess showing up, but surely this is a normal workday? Explain to your boss, take the afternoon off and drive all night if you have to. Or put your son on a plane.

If you decide to stay in this marriage, I would go on the assumption that he will not do ANYTHING for you or your son. If you have no expectations, there is no disappointment. But are you okay with that??

The difference in the situation is the skids have two parents both available. Your son only has you available since his BD is gone. Not to mention the other reasons you gave.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I am an hour and a half from Orlando. Usually , sometimes those tickets don't expire for 6 months but some have blackout dates starting like June 9 for the whole summer . I think one of the two parks is blacked out for the whole summer for those with the discounted tickets but it depends what kinda of tickets you have. Perhaps all isn't lost and you can find sometime to get him down to Universal. Sure it won't be the same cause his 8th grade buddies won't be there but it is an, in my opinion, an awesome theme park and a trip of a lifetime.

I cant help but feel "you have made your bed, now you need to lie in it" that may sound incredibly harsh but when a husband and wife (or any couple) end up against one another then no one in the household is happy. When its a blended family situation it becomes a "his kids/her kids" scenario.

It sucks for both of you that you have both gotten to the point that you feel taken advantage of when one asks the other to help them, be it with the children or other things. That is not what a marriage is supposed to be.

It is a very hard lesson, but one you need to now take to heart if this is the path you continue to walk. You will need to make sure you have back up plans for important events for your son if your work is so difficult to walk out from.

Personally, given that you had already arranged to leave work early, I would have given my apologies and explained to the boss that I still needed to leave at the earlier/pre arranged time. If you hadnt formally okay'd leaving early then its ultimately your own fault and own poor planning. Yes your husband could have helped you out, but in his eyes, he has made similar requests to you and you have refused to help him, so now he feels he has to do the same.
If you want him to be fully responsible for his kids then you cant expect him to support yours, regardless.

Why didn't you call your son a cab or Uber? You can pre pay over the phone. p.s. This marriage is doomed.

Your husband hates your guts. Now what are you going to do about that?

I'm with Sally on this one, but still have torn feelings on the situation. Like others have stated, your DH's response and behavior shouldn't come as any shock. On the other hand, I feel there should be certain circumstances that would call for a bend when it comes to disengagement. Like for instance, I'd personally not think twice about taking SK to the ER or Urgent Care. Casual non-emergency things, anything, yeah NO. This was an emergency to you - your DH just happened to not see it that way. Fair enough.

With all that said, if I were to drop $700 on a trip, I'd make damn sure I had a back-up plan lined-up for transportation if my workplace was to somehow fail to accommodate.

I would be incredibly angry, but I have not sent my house hold up this way. My husband and I do for each other's children. You set up the situation by refusing to do for your husband's children, but you expect him to do for your children. That's not fair

I don't do anything for the skids - no driving, no shopping, no school crap. The ONE thing I MIGHT do is pick someone up or take someone somewhere if my DH is in a jam AND I am available.

I guess that makes me a fence-sitter on this one.

I will tell you this, I am completely disengaged from my skids, but my husband in completely engaged with my kids (his skids). It's not a "tit for tat" in my house, but that's because my skids are assholes to me and my kids are not assholes to DH.

Makes no sense, I know, but at least my DH understands that I have disengaged because of THEIR (and his, to a certain degree) BEHAVIOR and not because of their existence.

DH asked for help with his kid and you said no. You asked for help with your kid and he said no. You can throw out every caveat in the book but it really doesn't matter. Those are the rules and neither of you are inclined to break them.

Good news is, now you know you are both 100% disengaged so you won't look to your DH in a future emergency but will have other backups in place. Sad and costly lesson learned.

It sucks for your son, but IMO you got exactly what you gave.

His daughter was throwing up at school. He wasn't able to get her & asked you for the favor. You refused because you're certain she would throw up in your new car on purpose, & she suffered for it.

Let me ask you this...when you've been sick & throwing up, did your mind turn to what you could do to piss somebody off? Of course not. When someone is sick to the point of vomiting, all they want is to get somewhere where they can lay down, get comfortable & rest. Nobody is feeling up to acting out when they're physically ill. The energy isn't there for it.

So, you insists all you want, but I feel just as certain otherwise. You put your foot down & refused to move. He did the very same thing.

Same actions. Unfortunately the crappy situation you set up cost you a whole lot more money.

You refuse to help with his kids, you simply cannot expect him to help with yours.

Your child wears a halo & his wear horns? I can't help but think that your claims are skewed in that respect. I guarantee you your DH's opinions differ with yours here.

I wouldn't pick up a hateful, untrustworthy skid either if she was puking ..... Her DH should of called BM. But let me guess , he didn't want to inconvience the kids own mom. Puke can be cleaned up....but who in their right kind would want their brand new car puked in ? There have been TONS of examples on this board of the terrible things skids do just to be vindictive .

And her DH....what a jerk. No excuse for what he did - doesn't matter what the SM had done before. His choice purposely punished a child who had done nothing wrong to him.

If I was the OP, I'd make damn sure all finances were separate and be making a plan to make him my exDH. Clearly that marriage has HUGE issues.

Where is you boy's bio dad? Did you not know any of his friends or friends' parents? I can log into my yahoo acct whatever and get contact info. Verizon cell has uploaded contacts as well I think. I don't understand what big wigs show up completely unannounced. What if you had been out sick that day? It sucks that DH wouldn't help but it sounds like you have been pretty adamant about not helping with his kids either. I second the family counseling thought here.

Why does this sooooo remind me of the member that cut her next door neighbor skids out of her 'good bio-kid' water park party (SF was paying for)?

Too bad you're not in the same area. The two of you could have perhaps been good friends and helped each other out.

OP, I feel a number of things about your situation.

1.) You have a career. I also have a career and it is important to me as I'm sure yours is important to you. I worked hard to get where I am and step life has a tendency to put all of that in jeopardy-and in our defense-you don't know that until you're already knee deep in it. I understand the pull and responsibility to stay to meet with the "big wigs" that showed up unexpectedly. However-parenthood carries the same risk. It's a wax and wane-squeaky wheel gets the oil-sometimes my job requires more of my attention, sometimes my kids require more of my attention-sometimes they both require my attention at the same time. You need to identify 1 or 2 "go to" people to help you when this happens-one of which should be your DH. I would work to repair what ever damage this "tit for tat" game you two are playing has done-you are married-you are partners and like it or not all of you together are a FAMILY. You also have to accept that there are times when family trumps work-flat out-walk your booty out that door and deal with the consequences later. Just remember-no one will talk about how many times you stayed for an "important meeting" at your funeral or how clean you kept your car. You sound like an intelligent woman, too intelligent for this behavior.

2.) Your step kids may not be the most respectful people, but bringing them places isn't just about them. It's about your DH too. And honestly, you're the adult in the situation, from what it sounds like you have nothing to lose. If you can drop your SD off on your way through because it's minimally inconvenient, do it. I agree, that if she's not ready by a certain time, he toosh stays behind-let that happen a few times-she'll get the message eventually. Nothing is going to get better if you and DH continue to stand there like The Zax.

3.) Your child suffered because of the BOTH of you. Your step kids suffer because of the BOTH of you. You two suffer because of the BOTH of you. Let that sink in and if you don't like it-it is in your power to change it.