Frustrated
Never posted on here before but needing to see if anyone has been going through the same thing we are. My stepsons mom has stopped coming for visits. This is the fourth weekend she hasn't shown up. She even blocked her own kids number. As well as my husbands number. My stepson seems to be handling it well but it's more of a front to cover his emotions. He has had a rough year mom dropped him off with last summer and didn't want him back full time. So my husband went to court to get custody. I really haven't been bothered by this until she didn't come for Mother's Day and blocked his number. It makes my heart bleed for my stepson he wants to see his mom but she seemingly cut off all ties. Last time he came home from there he was filthy head to toe because they had slept outside. My husband is getting stressed out because he doesn't know what to do. As for myself my role as the stepmom has been increasing steadily I don't mind it at all. However, I don't want my stepson to feel as if I am taking over the role as his mom. I just really don't understand why a parent could cut all ties and that be it. He has a sister with his mom and his mom is pregnant so I know he will be upset about not seeing the new baby and not spending time with his sister. I want to help but I don't have any communication with her and feel as if I would be over stepping my bounds if I did or said anything. I won't lie either I would have hard time talking to her because things have been less than friendly between us since the beginning. So here I sit resorting to a blog to talk and vent because I don't know where else to bring this to.
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Welcome - I know longtime
Welcome - I know longtime members here Echo and WalkOnBy have also had the biomom (BM) disappear. There are also others. It's not my situation so I won't give you any advice, but I will say that you're in a tough spot and what works for someone else (or even what worked for you yesterday or last week) might not work for you right now.
It is a situation I would
It is a situation I would like to be over with. Have considered going to court to petition for adoption but am not sure if that is the right route to go just yet.
BSgoingOn is also a good
BSgoingOn is also a good poster on here for you to look up and read her story. Like you she is the primary caregiver to her SS as his mom is gradually fading out because she'd rather go drinking or do drugs. She is really involved and cares for her SS so perhaps her situation is something that can help you find the answers you're looking for.
Thank you.
Thank you.
How sad for the child. Is
How sad for the child. Is the sibling still with BM? Why did she choose to remove herself from your SS's life?
Yes his sister is still with
Yes his sister is still with his mom. They have different dads. I don't have a clue why she has been doing what she has. She separated from her husband went out to party ever since she found out she was having another baby she started pulling away from my ss. It's heartbreaking to watch. She had him full time for over 7 years and now is hardly around. I know she got wrapped up in some drug problems I don't think she is using currently but cps was involved in that one. She spent a week in jail for not paying child support and she took ss for one weekend after that and he hasn't seen her or heard from her since. He tries to call and text but he gets automated messages saying messaging blocking is active. It's hard to watch that's for sure. DH and myself don't know what to do for him aside from try to distract him when her weekends come up.
Thank you. I didn't know how
Thank you. I didn't know how much I needed to hear that until I read it. I'll admit it has been nice not having to deal with her recently my ss had these horrible ticks whenever a visit was coming up and when he came back. He was licking his face so bad it required medical attention you'd go to hug him and he would flinch. All I wanted to do was bundle him up and take him away. But he has actually flourished this year he almost failed second grade and in third he is A honor roll. And my son and him are best friends and I love when they shout across the house hey bro come look at this. Lol it's great to have my ss in my and my sons life. It's been a long road and I know it isn't over yet. Our lawyer told us she is about to have a warrant issued for violating her probation in regards to child support and I will be given an opportunity to adopt him at the hearing if she chooses to allow it. While it will irritate me that she could pick that over getting back on solid footing and spending time with her son. At the same time I might be relived.
I don't talk about him much
I don't talk about him much but DH and my "son" came from a family much like yours. Biomom disappeared from his life, like straight up vanished off the face of the earth (mainly due to being a drug addict) and he has god knows how many siblings out there (last time he thought there were 10) that have all been taken away by CPS. It messed him up for a while and he went to live with his dad and stepmom.
He became our "son" when he got dumped by his fiance, got arrested for drugs, and came to live with us for two years while he got his shit together (he was a student at our martial art's school and we never leave a student behind, so our home became whatever he put on his parole papers since his family didn't really want anything to do with him at this point) and started calling us mom and dad because his dad was also not much of a dad.
I can only say he has a lot of trials to overcome (our's was sent to therapy for setting things on fire as a kid to deal with his issues) but today he is an amazing young man with a great job and a family of his own. He'll make a lot of mistakes that will make you want to scream, and he'll get into fights with you (lord knows how many times DH and him have gotten into it), but given enough support and motivation and he'll get past it. I don't like to take credit for him overcoming all of this because we just provided a safe and firm place for him to get back on his feet. That's all you can really do.
I wish you the best and it seems like you guys have everything together.