I'm sorry you're going through a break-up, but 30 isn't old. I know lots of people who didn't get married until they were well into their thirties.

I have a 34 year old sister who is still single but she is very happy because she has a full life - she works full time, goes to the gym, does competitive swimming, and she's a member of several boards and committees. I suggest that you get busy by getting involved in various activities or social groups. It'll keep your mind off of everything and you'll meet lots of new people.

take a year off. make 2016 the year of YOU. in terms of time lost, within your entire lifespan one year isnt much at all. but in terms of your heartbreak and mental/emotional help, one year can be the most important year of your life.

and i know it sounds funny, but get a dog. i found my furbaby when i was single, and he is still, almost 9 years later, my best friend. there's nothing better than the "i'll miss you" look when you leave, and the "HI MOM UR HOME UR HOME UR HOME YIPPPEEEE" when you get home. i used to take my furbaby out for 1-2 mile evening walks after work, and out into the woods on weekends. and just their presence, when they nudge your hand for a quick pat or lay their chin on your lap.

When I booted my ex-husband out for cheating, I was almost 37. No kids (but wanted kids) figured that would never happen, I went through a really dark 2 week period and then I snapped out of it and said no more. The only person that can make me happy is ME! Not a man, not a kid... ME. I ended up meeting my now DH about 2 months later. Had BS6 2 weeks after I turned 39. Other than stupid skid and BM blips on the radar, life is good. Never would have thought it could happen, but it can.

30 is young girl!

Hey. I'm going to be single at 49. So buck up little camper.

You're reinventing yourself.

I suspect you don't know yourself very well. You were in a relationship that didn't make you happy, but you wanted to keep working at it. You were surprised when it ended and have taken the relationship ending as a comment on your worth as a person.

Thing is, you feel so fragile because you invested a lot into your 'shell', the self you tried to be, that you thought your ex would love. But that shell isn't a good match for who you are inside. Most people have a bit of a gap between who they are and who they aspire to be - but it's very stressful to try to be someone you are just absolutely not. But we get attached to who we are trying to be, because we spend so much time and energy 'reading' the people around us for clues, doing research into how we're 'supposed' to act, etc etc.

Take that energy and put it into looking inside, at the YOU you are today. Take stock. Get comfortable with yourself. Then, when you do meet a potential partner, the only effort you need to put in is to see if you like him - because you'll know already that who he likes, is you - no makeup, no bells, no gourmet dinners or struggles to adapt, just you.

ETA: I wish you good luck. I've stood in your shoes more than once, and I can't tell you how lucky I feel that I found a guy that, even though he can be a dink, is still the most wonderful guy in the whole wide world... and who adores me like I get up in the morning to hang out the sun.

I didn't meet my DH until I had just turned 29; didn't marry until 31. I was mostly single throughout my 20's and lived alone. Except for my kids, I totally miss living alone!

30 really is young. I thought I was old getting married at 31, and not having kids until 34, but a lot of people I went to high school with didn't marry until their 30's and many of them are just having their first children in their late 30's.

Definitely make this year all about you. Try to find things that make you happy.

If I could go back to 30 I would do so many things differently. You're still young girlie, run with it and stay free!

here's one place to start - FIND A NEW SCREENNAME - maybe pm dawn (get it? "pm dawn"???? wait, i AM *old* so you younguns probably wont get that reference lol!)

seriously, send a private message to dawn and ask if it's possible to change your screenname w/o deleting your account. u've been "confused86" for a year and a half - time to define yourself differently! take off the '86, u're age is irrelevant. and dont be confused, pick a word that inspires you!

I'll be 31 this summer and single. Well, 31 and technically separated but still single for all intents and purposes (the state I live in requires separation for a full year before one can officially file for divorce). I recently decided to leave my husband due to various reasons.

I can understand how you feel. I used to live in New York City, where being single in your late 20's through mid 30's is considered pretty normal. When I moved back down South almost four years ago, I was surrounded by people getting engaged, married, and popping out babies. It's easy to say that it doesn't get to you, but it does. I never would have DREAMED that I'd be 30 and filing for separation. When I got married in 2014, I thought I'd have at least one child by now and that everything would be just dandy.

Like you, I have moments of insecurity and fear of the unknown future. I get all Debby Downer when I think about how daunting it is to meet new people and starting completely over.

I DO want to be married and have children, but I realized that I'd rather be with the right person than try to conform to society's timeline. I could not see my husband being the father to my children or the supportive spouse that I feel like I need.

There's a line from a movie that I love: "Lovers are like buses. Wait around and another one comes by sooner or later."

I hope you feel better soon, and I hope you find happiness.