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i'm getting into a funk....

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 7:23am

and it's not good.

i'm truly an antisocial homebody. before dh and i met, i was more than content to curl up with my furbabies and a good book. but then i met my best friend. Smile

the ladies at the office are more than employees, they're friends. but they all have their own lives, their own families, and their own hang-out buddies. at 5p we all go our separate ways. my hang out buddy is dh, even if it's just sitting on the couch next to him. his presence.

i have no family here and really am not close to any of them except my brother. but he's a thousand miles away with four kids of his own, including a widdle baby, and a bitch of a bm. dh was an only child to his mom, and well, we all know how SHE is.

so it's just dh and i. and i'm good with that. but lately i've been really, really, and i mean REALLY lonely. i dont even get to sit next to my hubby anymore. we dont even have that "catch up" on your day kind of chat. he gets up sick as a dog, takes the kids to school, goes to physical therapy, goes home and back to bed. he sets an alarm, gets the kids from school, and goes back to bed. and there he stays until the next morning. it's been this way for TWO EFFING MONTHS. not his fault at all, so i'm not blaming him. the latest test results came back perfectly normal, so they've got a different type of scan scheduled for next thursday. so i'll have another very lonely week before we know what's going on w/ his guts. if THAT test comes out normal, it'll be no telling how long until they schedule something else. more lonely time.

ugh. this is wearing me thin and i'm all weepy and emotional.

i miss my best friend.

Comments

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 7:39am

skype. ha. i still have a flip phone darlin'.

bro has no personal time either. the oldest is mega-special needs. the other two are 5 and 7 with a horrible mother. the youngest is less than a year. the 7 yr old has serious problems due to her mother. and the 5 yr old, lets just say he's a carbon copy of my brother, so he's a DAMN handful.

it's just lonely knowing dh feels so bad all the time he's basically bedridden. he's under the same roof, but i cant feel his presence.

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 7:39am

It's funny because SO and I had a huge argument on the way to work today. He isn't happy. He's bored. We don't do as much as we used to.

He is my only friend in the area. My SO grew up here and knows a lot of people but doesn't hang out with anyone. He is making me feel overwhelmed. I wish he would get a hobby or find someone to hang with sometimes. I feel like he is making me responsible for his happiness.

Is there a hobby that can keep you busy until your DH gets better? Can you sit in the room with him and chat while he is in bed? It sucks to be lonely and unhappy. I hope your DH gets some results at his next Dr. visit.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 7:51am

Im sorry tuff, that sucks. Hang in there. Hope they figure out what is wrong with DH. Has he always been sickly?

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 7:55am

thanks will....

no, this started up over two months ago and gets worse day by day. he's so sick of being sick 24/7. and he's depressed as hell. all he does is sleep and pop a handful of antinausea and anticramping pills. and go back to sleep.

blood test came out clear, no antibodies for normal stomach problems. then they thought maybe an intestinal infection. nope. maybe gallbladder? negative. more waiting, more testing. *sigh*

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 9:45am

my FAVORITE twilight zone episode is the one where the guy ended up all by himself with thousands upon thousands of books. then stepped on his glasses.

remember encyclopedias, card catalogs, and microfiche? THAT was how we used to do research!!!

Ninji's picture

Submitted by Ninji on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 11:11am

Anytime my SD is doing homework and asks me how to spell something, I make her pull out the dictionary. LOL She hates it.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 1:20pm

I used to tell my kids "look it up."

The skids wouldn't know how to look something up in a reference book if their lives depended on it, but that's a skill no one needs anymore.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 9:36am

i need to get my tablet fixed so i can do this! i totally forgot about our library system's online stuff!!!

either that, or get off my duff and get a 'real' phone Wink

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 9:10am

were you around the day we took that personality test? it's been a few months.
mine came out like 92% introvert!!!

sorry your two friends are both moving - that sucks! would it be possible to volunteer alongside your dh?

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 12:30pm

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww i hate that show!!! ick ick ick!!!!

nope, no parasites. been there, tested that.

and no, he cant make it through work. he's been out on worker's comp since his surgery in april. had follow-up with the surgeon a wk or two ago and he said 6 more weeks of physical therapy and yet another follow up. (he injured it in january, and was on light-duty until the surgery in april - workmans' comp wanted to try a few rounds of physical therapy first before surgery when it was obviously SCREWED to begin with.) he HATES not being able to work, he's already depressed. Sad

not to mention the car wreck he was in last year, that had him out of work from june through october! oh yeah, and two or three weeks ago he broke his FOOT by simply walking down the hallway. the poor guy just CANT catch a break.

he tries to come out for couch-time, especially to supervise mister wild-child. but the only time his guts give him any slight relief is when he's laying flat on his back. *sigh*

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 12:28pm

I'm not a real doctor, but I suspect Chron's or another inflammatory bowel disease. How painful and frustrating on every level for him.

It's funny, I am an outgoing person but even after living almost 7 years in my new country, other than my DH I wouldn't say I have made any 'real' friends. OTOH, since I met DH, I haven't needed other friends as much. Before him, I had a wide social network, mostly with very close friends. Now I'm as close as possible with those people, as you can be with a 6-9 hour time change and the same in flying time.

It's just hard. Right around the time DD was born, we renovated our house and DH started a 2 year executive master's program. We agreed that that was the best time to do it, and it was... but it was hard. He finished the program this summer, and we're still figuring our way into the new normal. DD changes the game regularly, his work asks a lot of him, and I have my own changing needs and wants. How to figure out how we want to live our lives is always a challenge.

I highly recommend e-books. If they're not illegal where you are, you can find a lot of free torrents at sites like kickasstorrents. Then use the free e-library program, Calibre, as an e-reader on your computer and to organize your books for when you want to up/download them to your tablet or e-reader.

I also recommend watching movies on your laptop while taking a bath. Smile

Granted, you won't meet more people with those tips, but if you're an introvert, you don't need more people, you just need DH. And since you've got him less... you need to take care of yourself a bit extra.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 12:40pm

"if you're an introvert, you don't need more people, you just need DH. And since you've got him less... you need to take care of yourself a bit extra." your words hit a nerve. thank you for this.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 12:41pm

nope ultrasound this past monday was perfectly normal.

isnt chron's tied in to when/what you eat? that's what's confusing to me, is that dh is sick 24/7. regardless of what he's eaten or even if he hasnt eaten at all.

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 12:57pm

lets hope it's not something like that. he WANTS them to find something so it can be FIXED. he was so bummed the ultrasound came out normal, cuz gallbladder surgery is relatively simple and common, and he could be done and over it.

the other loco part is that he's got the nausea and vomiting too. he's been popping phenergan and pepto like its going out of style. he went to therapy this morning and said he had to quit one of the exercises to go puke. *sigh*

Tuff Noogies's picture

Submitted by Tuff Noogies on Wed, 10/21/2015 - 2:40pm

aww (((hugs)))

it's tough cuz there's no one to blame, it's not permanent, but doesnt make it any less lonely! you can join me in my pity party...
i guess it's just human to have a pity party from time to time and feel sorry for yourself, so i'm going to WALLOW IN IT tonight. then tomorrow, i'm going to get my tablet fixed and start back to my reading hobby. hell i can even SEE IT in the dark so i can read on the bed next to dh!

have u got some sort of solo activity you used to enjoy that u've drifted away from??