Camping with YSD- Yes or No?
I am disengaged from the skids and have been for awhile.
I rarely see YSD16. She hasn't stayed at our house in 3 years. DH picks her up and takes her to do stuff for his "visitation".
Last time I saw her was Xmas Eve dinner. She wouldnt talk to me or acknowledge me until after MSD left dinner then she was fine. I took the high road and talked to her and was friendly. (I also had a few glasses of wine at this point too. LOL)
Overall I dont really like her. Never had. She's the baby. Daddddddy's little girl. Hangs all over him. He lets her get away with everything. She entitled and bratty. Not someone I would like if I met in the streets.
A few weeks back YSD texted DH asking for them to go camping. They never went.
So today I texted DH asking him if he wants to go camping this weekend. He responds back "I have to take YSD camping".
I am pretty sure that is his way of asking to take YSD with us.
Ugggghhhh...Nooooooooooo.....
There are so many reasons why I dont want to spend a weekend with her camping.
When we did do stuff together and had been camping, she NEVER helped with set up/take down and DH let her get away with it.
She's at that age where she would be all up our butts. Well DH's butt. I feel that I would be the third wheel. And I also feel like we couldnt enjoy ourselves because she would be right there the whole time.
I just dont know if I can handle a whole weekend with her. Its been so long since I have really been around her. I feel anxious and uncomfortable just thinking about it.
However this is probably the last weekend I can take BS camping. I dont want him to miss out on "Family" stuff because of how I feel about YSD.
I know this would make DH happy. He does stuff with my BS all the time, so I feel like I can compromise every once in awhile and meet him half way.
But I am so nervous too that it will turn into a disaster, remind me why I am disengaged, bring back bad memories, etc.
DH has the tendency to turn into an asshole when his kids are around sometimes. Its like he can't handle the "issues" and just turns into a jerk, under pressure. When in reality he just makes it worse for everyone.
So should I just suck it up and do it? Or will I regret it?
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"Well maybe you guys can set
"Well maybe you guys can set up a time after we get back." Play dumb.
I'm in the same boat zero! We
I'm in the same boat zero! We leave Friday for our family vacation and it's a week long camping trip. And SD17 comes with. I'm also nervous as to how it's going to turn out. I'm not even 100% sure why she even wants to go..she sits on her phone the whole time, complains that she's bored, and pouts. This year though, I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to let her bother me. It's my vacation too and I deserve some fun..and if she sits there like a "sour puss" and is determined to have a bad time, it's her fault. She's not my kid so it's not my job to entertain her. She has this "itinerary" already made up in her head that we're gonna run here and run there and spend this amount of time shopping...she's going to be sorely disappointed..but this year it's not my problem!!
OMG we have the same Skid
OMG we have the same Skid only I have the male version. SS17 never comes around except for money. On the rare occasions he comes to family dinners he sits in a different room as everyone else and is on his phone the entire time. He does not utter a single word to anyone.
And yes my DH also wants to bring his spawn on any vacation we even talk about taking (unless it is an adult vacation with our friends). Therefore we have NEVER taken a family vacation. I refuse to be subjected to their whining, blantant lack of aknowledgement of my existance and rude behavior. Since DH can't afford to take a vacation wihtout me, we don't go. I, however, have been on a few vacations with just BS. DH made a comment ONE time about me taking SS's along on MY vacation with BS and that was met with a "HELL NO!!!" He doesn't want to take them anywhere alone so why the hell would I??
Yep definitely sounds like we
Yep definitely sounds like we have the same skids!! Especially the only coming around when they want money/stuff! SD17 only visits us in the summer so she can tag along on vacation (which confuses me since she never has any fun)..then when she goes back home to BM, we will not hear one single word from her until about a week before her birthday (in October) because she wants to make sure DH is going to send her the usual gift card. Then after that, we won't hear from her again until mid-December when she's sniffing around for her Christmas gift. Other than that we're non-existent. I don't care if my skids acknowledge me, but it bugs me to no end that they ignore DH unless they want something.
EXACTLY!!! I could care less
EXACTLY!!! I could care less the the Skids like me or not. I know in my heart I have done NOTHING to cause it. But, I have a huge issue with them mistreating DH. I finally had to let it all go and let DH be treated like crap if he chooses to. I cannot control how he reacts to thier demands or treatment of him. So to save myself the stress, I disengage from it all. Its hard to do but luckily the ones who treat him the worse never come around so I can avoid it most of the time.
I also had a OSD from my first marriage who started treating ME as if I was only important to her when it came time for birthdays and gift giving occasions. I stopped getting any contact from her at all when she realized I was no longer the ATM machine she always hoped for. I miss her but refuse to be treated like that. I now have NO contact with her at all. It sucks but a person is treated only how they ALLOW others to treat them.
Good luck on your vacation!
Good luck on your vacation! Fingers crossed for you that it goes well.
She's at that age where she
She's at that age where she would be all up our butts. Well DH's butt.
I just don't get this? When I was 16 or so, I had a friend who's family had a big huge fancy motor home and they would camp a lot at the lakes around where we live. There were a few times that I went with them, BUT her dad set up a tent for us and we stayed in the tent (our choice), while the rest of the family stayed in the motor home. We would bring our bikes and be gone most of the day, generally just be around the family when it was time to eat. Even when I went on vacation with MY family, at that age, no way in hell did I want to "hang out" with mom and dad?
These girls are so strange! I know I bitch about SD17 a lot, but God love her, she has never been one to be jammed up DH ass.
Because she loooooooooooooves
Because she loooooooooooooves Daddddyyy. She wants all of his attention. She wants to hang on him and try to make Zero annoyed and jealous.
I remember my dad taking me camping when I was maybe 13 or 14? I hung out with kids at the swimming hole, the whole time. I saw him to eat and sleep.
Well she should be spending
Well she should be spending time drumming up business for her Go Fund Me teeth account, instead of wasting all this energy trying to make your life miserable
OMG.... I almost peed my
OMG.... I almost peed my pants. And I totally agree!
'DH has the tendency to turn
'DH has the tendency to turn into an asshole when his kids are around sometimes. Its like he can't handle the "issues" and just turns into a jerk, under pressure. When in reality he just makes it worse for everyone.'
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Yep, I had to deal with this last week on vacation, it's exhausting.
Maybe you could have a serious discussion with him, set ground rules, and only agree to go if they are followed? He would need to make these rules clear to SD before you go as well. For instance, that he would like her to go with you guys but she must be willing to pitch in and also keep her attitude in check so that everyone can have a good time. She may not even want to go after having the discussion. }:)
He wont have that discussion
He wont have that discussion with her. He thinks she is perfect the way she is. :sick:
It's like he knows I am annoyed by her behavior but he cant bring himself to actually correct her (She's never around! I never see her! She's fine!)or address it, instead he lets it fester then he is annoyed and he takes it out on me. Nothing extreme, but just enough for everyone to then be all tense and uncomfortable. Not always but it's a good chance it will happen.
Like he cant relax around his kids and me.
In that case, I wouldn't
In that case, I wouldn't go.
I will seriously consider NOT going on vacation with my FDH and SD next year. Four years now and it's always the same shit.
We deal with disney dads...better to extricate yourself when possible and do the adult vacation.
80% of my reasoning to agree
80% of my reasoning to agree to the camping trip is for my own benefit and BS's. I think BS and I would have fun. Our last camping trip got rained out, so it sucked.
15% is I'm trying to be a good wife and make some compromises.
5% most be because I like to torture myself and probably just need a reminder why I hate YSD. Idk. LOL.
Well, that all sounds pretty
Well, that all sounds pretty positive...even the 5% because of the reminder part. Lol.
Any way you could lose her in
Any way you could lose her in the woods? }:) }:) }:)
LMAO!!
}:) LMAO!! }:)
HAhahaha!!
HAhahaha!! }:)
An awesome scavenger hunt?
An awesome scavenger hunt? LOL
I feel that I should take one
I feel that I should take one for the team. Suck it up. I dont have to do things like this very often. But I dont want to open up some door either. DH doesnt understand "baby steps" in me dealing with his kids.
I can probably deal with anything else with YSD but I hate how she hangs on DH. How she acts like he is her BF and not her dad. She tries to make me feel like the third wheel.
But honestly DH and I have grown so much since I have really been around her, she may be in for a huge surprise.
Maybe you could handle two
Maybe you could handle two days if you're able to grab your son and go off to do your own thing if it gets bad with them.
Make sure to take an ipod/mp3 player for the drive!!!
Yes and I thought, well it
Yes and I thought, well it would be a good time to spend some time with my own BS. I can keep busy with him. DH can keep busy with YSD. It can then be a win win. I can just look at it not as a trip with DH but more of a trip with me and BS and DH and YSD are just tagging along. That may work?
And just inwardly laugh if
And just inwardly laugh if she's being a brat, knowing that it's on her if she's not having a good time.
(Keep your cool.)
Zero...I can understand how
Zero...I can understand how you feel that you need to take one for the team. I do honestly "GET IT"!
Since you are more than likely going to go camping, try to plan activities for just you and your DS to do. Leave DH to deal with miss attitude on his own.
If she starts to get moody, just take DS fishing or hiking. If DH tries to drag SD along, just say "Dear I am sure SD does NOT want to go so why don't you two
hang out here at the campsite and get things ready for dinner".
I was going to suggest the
I was going to suggest the same thing, have her bring a friend? My BD is 15 and always has a friend with her or wants to have one with her when we do anything.
I think her bringing a friend
I think her bringing a friend is the BEST option. It will be that or I would have to go into this trip thinking, I am going to do what I want, when I want, how I want with my BS and pay no attention to the 2 of them. Not give her a chance to go into a battle of who is the woman in charge here.