When I was with my Ex, BS's dad, we never had money to do anything. Even small things, because even then $10 would set us back. Or we worked opposite schedules, or he was sleeping off a hangover...so I often did stuff by myself, just me and BS. I kind of hated it. Seeing families together at the park or on bike rides. It was always me and BS. No other adult to talk to.

When Ex and I split up, I always said I will find someone who likes to do stuff on the weekends, someone who wants to do family stuff.

Well I meet DH. Once we started having the kids around each other, I just went ahead and made plans for all of us. Camping, swimming, parks, hiking, etc. I just took control of that. Which I regret now because if I had left it up to DH, I would have seen that he really wasn't that interested in doing family stuff.

After awhile I got tired of planning stuff and preparing for stuff without even a thank you from the skids or even DH. Then it got to be where the skids would decide last minute they weren't coming, etc. So I stopped planning stuff.

Well shortly after we bought our house, so we really didnt do stuff anyways because we were always so busy doing house stuff. Then the situation with the skids went to shit and they werent coming over. So I didnt really notice that we werent doing anything as a family, because we really didnt have time anyways.

So now here we are. This has been going on for at least a year, maybe a little longer. I started to notice that DH doesnt want to do anything "family".

Hey you wanna go for a bike ride? No! You wanna go for a walk? No! You wanna go to the pool? No!

I think part of it has to do that he doesn't want to do anything me, him and my BS because he feels like his kids may be jealous? Or he feels guilty? But 3/4 of his kids are adults and BS lives with us FT.

So even though I didnt want to be around the skids, I would still make offers here and there. Hey what do you think about us and the all the kids going to the drive in? No! is always his answer. Ummm okay.

So then I am thinking, well maybe he doesnt want the skids around me and they dont want to be around me and honestly I dont want to be around them. Maybe the skids have said something to him about not liking me and not wanting to be around me.

But then I'm like, well sometimes he will still have them come over or if its a holiday. So I cant be that bad to be around. He's not protecting his kids from me (like that would even be necessary) because they can be around me when he wants them to be around me.

I'm trying to figure it out. Does he just not want to be around BS? Maybe he doesnt find it enjoyable to be around an 8 year old? But they have a good relationship. BS is well behaved. And I am not just saying that. I have no issue correcting him if needed. He listens. So not sure what the problem is.

And when I ask DH if he wants to do something he acts so annoyed that I even asked him. He always says, I have to work.... It's your day off DH! Well a side job is what he says.... You cant do that before or after we come back?

Last week I asked if he wanted to take BS and his only minor kid (3/4 are adults now) to the Lake (today) and go swimming. I'm making an effort here even though I would rather YSD15 not come, but I am trying. Seeing if I can bait him into going, by offering to take her as well. He starts talking about how he doesnt know what he has going on and he may have a side job and blah blah blah.

Okay so I leave it alone all week. I bring it back up last night. Hey BS and I are going to the lake, are you and YSD going to come?

No I'm not taking YSD. But he says it in a way, not that he isnt taking YSD because of something she has done, but as if he doesnt want her around me.....

Oh okay, are you going to go then? NO!

I said, when can we do family stuff? You have 3 days off in a row. When can we do something together as a family? He says we are doing it everyday. We wake up together, we go to sleep together.

That's not making memories. We are so busy during the week we hardly even see each other. And DH defintely isnt doing any family stuff during the week and spending any real time with BS or even me.

Its not like I am asking to go places every day or spend money. I'm asking to go on bike rides, go to the park, go swimming.

I always end up doing this stuff alone. Just BS and I. I want to make sure that he doesnt "suffer" because DH doesnt want to do anything. But it gets lonely doing it by myself. ANd you can only talk to an 8 year old for so long.... LOL

Just venting here....