I'm super tempted to throw it away
SD left her tablet out again. Dh threatened (empty that's as usual), that he'd throw it away if she left it out. We'll I know that as usual, dh will try to tell my kids to go place her tablet on her bed when he gets home and sees it there on the couch... and my kids won't see anything wrong with it... but I do! Just to keep the peace they will do it... I hate them cleaning up after SD every single time she is over... when they do laundry, they put her laundry on her bed, when she leaves toys out, they place it on her bed. When she leave shoes out they place it on her bed.
Any time dds leave shoes/toys out (which they do occasionally), he tells at them. Goes on and on about how that this isn't the way we are gonna treat this house, but when it's SD, does he call her to birch and moan about how she left shot out again? No... so I'm about to throw this shit away
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Put it on top of the
Put it on top of the refrigerator for a week or two. Then let it magically appear in her room.
That's where I hide snacks from Skids because they can't see up that high and can't reach.
^^^ Except her kids might get
^^^ Except her kids might get blamed for that
Done that.... Ipads are
Done that.... Ipads are surprisingly much more sturdy than I thought they'd be.
Right? My big boxer fur baby
Right? My big boxer fur baby could knock it off the couch if I get her riled up enough
I was going to say hide it.
I was going to say hide it. That's what I do with Thunderfoots shit when she won't put it away.
I have before for a month I
I have before for a month I hid her ten barbie dolls, she didn't have a clue they were gone, or at least she acted like it... she couldn't care less it seems when her stuff goes missing or broken (because our boxer chews up barbies left and right, or really any toys). I've explained to her that when dogs chew on toys and end up swallowing process they can die. She nonchalantly says, "oh, OK." And still leaves her toys out every time... she always assumes it will be on her bed when she gets back.
Make her go with you when you
Make her go with you when you donate it somewhere!
My mother had the "lost and
My mother had the "lost and found" box. Anything (toys, clothes, shoes, schoolbooks, etc) we left around the house and didn't put away would be confiscated and put in that box.
On Saturday, we could "buy" our things back with chores.
Otherwise they went to Goodwill, if we chose not to "buy" them back.
I thought it was an empty threat and didn't do chores that weekend. Yeah.......my things went to Goodwill and I stopped leaving my crap around the house.
Put all of their things, your kids included, into a bin and they can bail them out at the end of the week. And if they don't bail it out, donate it. Problem solved. And if you do it to your kids too, then you're being fair and balanced and treating everyone the same.
^^^^^^ BRILLIANT!!! ^^^^^^
^^^^^^ BRILLIANT!!! ^^^^^^
I've tried this too, she'd
I've tried this too, she'd rather not get it back. She'll wait forever, since she gas an identical one at BM's that as soon as she goes there she can play on it.
Of course she doesn't care,
Of course she doesn't care, because she knows it's not for real. Her Dad will bail her out or the item will get replaced, if it even gets thrown out in the first place. You need to follow through. She may still not care for the first few weeks but pretty soon she's going to look around and see half her crap is gone, and she'll get the message.
If she's with you half the time, waiting to play with the identical item at BM's is going to get old fast.
And if she doesn't, then you still get to get rid of the clutter that's bugging you. Win-win.
It's not the clutter that
It's not the clutter that bothers me, it's my kids playing her servants...
I'm really truly trying to be disengaged, but it's hard when dh is passing off his parenting responsibilitis on my kids, who are basically the same age!
Then this entire situation is
Then this entire situation is on you.
Tell your H your kids are not personal servant to your SD. Tell your kids they do not have to pick up after SD.
And if he asks or tells them to do it, they can politely tell him "Mom said we're not allowed to pick up SD's things any longer."
You're going to have to draw the line in the sand.
So...ask (tell) him not to do
So...ask (tell) him not to do that.
"hey, DH, it's hard when you are passing off parenting responsibilitis on my kids, who are basically the same age as SD!! It's going to create huge amounts of resentment and sibling rivalry and it needs to stop".
Weren't you planning on laying down the law about him parenting SD and you parenting DD's anyway? here's your chance.
I have told him, and he's
I have told him, and he's been asking them (not telling them), but they just do it, I've told them to stop, but they don't understand, they are just "trying to keep the peace", knowing is not hard, and it only takes a second, so why not. But as a parent, knowing what it is he's doing drives me nuts.
WHAT A GREAT
WHAT A GREAT IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I like that way of thinking!!
Sad part is..it would be DH and BS who would lose the most stuff...hahaha...
SS's barely have anything here to leave out since they take it all to BM's.
I will admit...I am guilty of throwing some things away. If it is in the way and
not moved when asked....it will end up in the trash. No matter whos crap it is.
Put sd in the trash. Problem
Put sd in the trash. Problem solved.
Don't get on your bad size,
Don't get on your bad size, eh?
hahahaa not this week at
hahahaa not this week at least!
Certain weeks of the month I
Certain weeks of the month I lose my filter as well.
You can throw the tablet away
You can throw the tablet away but I really don't think that is going to solve the problem.
Why do you let your DH treat your kids like he does?
His defense is that he is
His defense is that he is only asking them, they always say yes. If he does all them, I am ready to jump his ass. Lately I've been trying to do it for them before he gets home so as to not start a fight, but then I'm stuck doing it... and that's not solving any problem either...
so I guess I'm just tired of all of it. I'm tired of them being asked, I'm tired of them agreeing to it, I'm tired of it even being an issue, is SD leaning crap out that she doesn't care about something to get into a fight over? Probably not, and if she doesn't care, since dh specifically said that he's going to throw it away... why not beat him to the punch? It was his rule to throw away toys that get left out.it was his rule, he even told SD before she left... was he actually going to do it? More than likely not, and SD knows that
No way no day would I allow
No way no day would I allow my DH to tell my kid to pick up after his. Effing ridiculous.
Tell DH that he is
Tell DH that he is manipulating your children. They do as they are asked by him because they respect him and don't want to make him angry. So in future if he asks your children to pick up SDs things they will come and tell you. You will take a garbage bag and pick the items up. You don't mind doing it at all. However it will be up to YOU when SD gets the things back, not him. Be matter of fact.
Then tell your kids that whenever DH asks them to pick up after SD they say "Mom, sneeze." as the secret clue that they are being asked to pick up after SD. Then you go into the room and pick up the item/s and take them away.
You're considering doing
You're considering doing everything you can except being direct. Your H is very direct. Your daughters are the maids, they are beneath his precious princess, visiting royalty as some one said. He has no problem "asking" them to be his daughters maids. He has no problem actually being a bully, he is very " direct" .
I tried to be indirect for years. What the fuck for? He isn't. He is a straight out bully about keeping that fat precious princess on a pedestal and catered to. Even if you hid/destroyed the tablet.....really SD is queen, it will be replaced before too long.
It's not that her room is a
It's not that her room is a mess, it probably is too, but her ds was on the couch.
I did take the advice about hiding it in a special place. I'll wait until she is done with her extended time this summer with dh. Typically she's only here between 5-7 days at a time. Now she will be here for 2 weeks and then BM will have her for 2 days, then she comes back for 2 more weeks. Then on the last day I'll "help her find it" that way she does get the feeling of "crap I wish I knew where it was"