A SM's Rights To Standards

Taking a look around, I’m seeing a recurring theme. For whatever reason, a lot of women feel that once you become a SM, you no longer have the right to the standards you’ve upheld for your entire life. Or at least that you no longer have the right to voice them.

It’s not true.

Someone else’s poop and/or pee should not be a part of your daily life, and if someone is trying to make you feel like it is, they’re insane. Once a child is past the age of being a toddler, and there isn’t any diagnosed disability or physical illness, there is no excuse for being lazy and disgusting when it comes to hygiene.

Never feel guilty for being a good mother to your biological children. NEVER. This includes how much time/money/effort etc. you choose to spend on your child. That’s your job, and nobody has the right to make you feel guilty about that.

A man’s Ex-wife does not have to like that you exist. Not one bit. If she does not respect the fact that her Ex has moved on, she is free to shriek from HER rooftop like a rabid banshee. However, it is up to YOUR H to stop allowing you to be disrespected in your own home by his Ex wife.

Circumstances that kill children:
Disease, extreme violence, poison, starvation

Circumstances that do not kill children:
Standing up to them, saying no, having behavioral expectations, consequences for his/her bad behavior

In the past, I have been guilty of this line of thinking as well, that I don’t deserve happiness, that marriage means a series of never ending compromise that leave all of my needs unmet. It’s not true. If you are a good person, you deserve a good marriage, and a supportive partner. Don’t let the disappointments that come from failing at being the perfect SM make you feel you deserve to be miserable. You don’t. You have the right to standards.

1000Kutz's blog
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Speak it!

I absolutely LOVE this!

I absolutely LOVE this! Standing ovation from me!

Other things that do not kill

Other things that do not kill children: picking up after themselves, taking out the trash, walking the dog, BATHING.

Melting is not killing,

Melting is not killing, Sally. }:)

STANDING OVATION!!!!! Preach

STANDING OVATION!!!!!

Preach it Kutz! The poop wars have been a never ending source of frustration in the 5 years SO and I have been together.

Thank you, this past was

Thank you, this past was exactly what I needed to read this morning

This isn't only a problem when you meet with everyday people, but with stepmothers as well.

Other stepmother have expectations of you, whether they are negative or positive.

They expect either for you to disengage or you should bend over backwards.

Even as a parent you can't be perfect. We fail everyday to be perfect in everything we do in others eyes.

Either you give your kids too much, or not enough. Either you allow your child to be sad too much when they don't get their way or you cater to your child too much. <--- this goes for step and bio kids.

The best thing to do is know what is best for your family and screw what the neigh sayers say.

What sucks is that we can vent openly about our own kids and nobody thinks twice about it, they know you still care about your kids, but when you vent about your steps, all hell breaks out.

Even here, when you vent about your steps, there are two responses, either you don't give in enough; or you need to disengage. Why can't it just be a vent fest (that was a rhetorical question). We don't always need a solution, someone's we just need to get it off or chest and someone to say, "I feel ya".