More emails from SD6's teacher; surprise surprise
Latest one reads SD has reverted back to the defiant behavior that I saw at the beginning of the year; pouting, stomping her feet and refusing to follow directions. She also has been peeking under the stalls in the hallway bathroom to where she cannot be trusted to use the washroom outside of the classroom. Has her schedule/anything at home changed recently?
Hmmmm....perhaps the week at daycare during Spring Break which continually reinforces that the rules don't apply to her in a school environment, she spent half of the week at our house as well as both weekends for the last two weeks during which she had no problems at school but now after three days of being back with BM she's acting out in school. Nope, not a clue what could be causing that. Of course DH won't bother to reply to SD'S teacher and BM'S outlook is well it can't be that bad since she still got three stickers on her behavior modification chart which addresses listening to assignments and completing work. And let's not forget the classic 'The teacher doesn't like her, has it out for her, etc. line of bullshit.
Tomorrow is our overnight so I'll have to pick SD6 up. SS14 has a psych appointment to have his ADHD meds adjusted which is more important and as far as I'm concerned, if we're not back in time to pick her up from school DH will need to get her from BM or SD will have to come over another day. I can deal with a lot but my patience is wearing thin and I can't guarantee that I can keep my calm, reserved demeanor around the hag and at the very least it will ruin my night and inevitably everyone else's because in our house, bad moods are contagious.
Can't wait to have this convo with DH tonight because of course he'll be upset that I'm taking this stance. He can forgive and forget just about anything and there are times when I envy him for that but not right now. Right now I wish we'd eat dinner before it was cold and/or burnt. I wish he hadn't mentioned the hag and that the mere mention of her didn't have the power to ruin my night. I wish I could have married the man of my dreams without having inherited his ex wife. Guess it's just one of those FML, the grass is greener days.
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Those are serious
Those are serious misbehaviors. IMO, at 6 year old and with this level of misbehaving, she's right at the point where this is the last point she can be reached and turned around. But that's with both recognizing the severity of the problem and following through each and every time with discipline. It sounds like both parents are gonna sit around and do nothing. That is every guilty and / or lazy parents line. The teacher doesn't like their kid and is just picking on them.
I agree and I talked to DH
I agree and I talked to DH about it this morning and he started to say "She's just nitpicking" and I cut him off. To add insult to injury he said he hopes I wasn't taking this stance because BM doesn't think it's a big deal. I told him that I'm taking this stance because it's inappropriate for a 6 year old to challenge her teacher constantly and outright refuse to follow directions and BM doesn't think it's a big deal because BM is an idiot.
On one hand, I don't want to get involved. I want to take the advice I was given on a previous post and not concern myself with doing things that the bio parents aren't willing to do. On the flip side, I really feel like SD is just going to run rampant and that I'll be stuck dealing with it until DH has had enough or I get fed up and leave. Of course I don't plan on ever leaving but I've learned from reading posts on this site to know that it does happen.
If we can get placement i.e. custody perhaps we'll be able to make a difference and limiting BM'S influence will cut down on these type of instances but until/unless that happens, I don't see too many options. Of course, I'll talk to her if I pick her up today and there will be no rewards or special treatment but with BM practically condoning it and DH being too busy with keeping up his good guy image, any effect it has will be short lived.
He is very much guilty
He is very much guilty Disney dad in willful deep denial about his kid. I've heard it all too. The nitpicking. Looking for things to be wrong. Because I don't like her. That she's just a kid. Just a normal kid. Not only denial, but your H is turning on you with the comments about you are only saying this because you want to be opposite of BM. I would say he's an idiot. No idiot, it's not about being the big man in the middle with your wife and ex wife fighting over you. It's about your complete failure as a father.
Without both parents on board, these problems will not get better. You are right, they will get worse. Worse than that, this is really the last chance to turn this kid around. Literally, the PARENTS have 1-2 years max to turn her around. Given the severity of her behaviors.
The problems will start for SD now. It will show .she will have no friends. Then SD will complain about being bullied. Cause kids will fight back against her bullying to defend themselves. I know she has a bathroom escort so she can't be a peeper. But just an example, if it would have been my 6 year old daughter telling me a little girl repeatedly peeping at her, I would tell her to kick her in the head from the stall. It's this type of stuff the parents are setting her up for,,being miserable and friendless. And picked on. Not to mention pissed off teachers. Not to mention the countless kids she will torment, and the countless valuable classroom, learning hours lost. Both for her and the whole class. Cause she's taking up the teachers time with her uncontrollable behavior.
I know she's daddy's little princess. Cute as can be. 6 years old and cuddly. How dare you and the teachers say anything about little precious.