Operation SD15 Smackdown
Last night DH made his nightly phone call to SD15 to check on homework. She currently has 3 Fs. She's been collecting them for the last 1 1/2 years at an impressive rate. Since nothing else has worked and her attitude gets more and more apathetic with a sidecar of squirrely, he tried something new.
He said to her, "At this rate, you will not be able to graduate with your friends. You may not be able to already. You need to start thinking about what your plans are and what you are going to do when you turn 18."
I was so happy that he said such things. She can not claim she wasn't warned. I also heard him tell his own mother (wonderful lady) on the phone that he did not want sd laying about our house as an 18 year old. He totally owned that.
2 days earlier this little scene played out as well. DH and I and both skids had dinner out with a visiting relative of DH's. All was nice. Riding home just the 4 of us, SD15 starts getting bossy and mouthy with SS13. She crossed my threshold when she started bullying, "STOP SQUEALING!"
CGU (from front seat in a low, calm, firm voice): SDname.
SD15: He was squealing! I can't stand it when he squeals all the time! blablablawhineblabla
CGU: He had stopped. You said that to an utterly silent person.
SD15: Well, I can't get it in just the right moment. Whine/bla/bla/whine I'm telling you I can't be in the right exact moment!
CGU (still calm, firm, and low): And I'm telling you don't tell him what to do.
SD15: Whine--
DH: SDName, no more backtalk. Knock it off.
It was so awesome to have DH back me up like that! Normally I do not police SD15 and we speak very little to each other. But some time ago she and I had a come to Jesus meeting and I let her know bullying her little brother would bring me down on her neck like a rabid hawk. She apparently needed a little reminder. She got it. And I got the backup from my beloved!
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Comments
My SD11 is a DREAM child!
My SD11 is a DREAM child! Such a joy.
SS12 on the other hand...lol.
It's a good thing I'm patient.
HRNCY, I think you need to
HRNCY, I think you need to post something about YOUR LIFE. You have lots of opinions about us stepmoms but are to afraid to share your life. I am lacking respect for you since this continues with you.
Lol...there are so many
Lol...there are so many better things to do than statistical analysis of a blog site!!!! Like swimming, hiking, sex, surfing, reading, helping others in a proactive approach, masterbating, painting, getting a massage......
But, if one is going to spend the time doing the analysis, share it by all means. Its alot of work to police us evil SD hating step moms.
Heehee! 942% Love your
Heehee! 942% Love your math!! Spot on!
I'm wondering that too. I'd
I'm wondering that too. I'd think the squealing would annoy everyone.
When he really does whine for
When he really does whine for reasons of his own, we do work hard on extinguishing that behavior and I have blogged several times about that. One does not calm down an autistic child by screaming at him and increasing his sensory overload, though. SD well knows this. Her only purpose in yelling at him is to make him START squealing.
He had had a great time with great-uncle and was cheerful and happy until he was alone in the backseat with sd who started in on him. It was nice to see him extricate himself from her initial attempts to upset him. I intervened when she upped the ante trying to snag him back.
LOL!
LOL!
Soooooo you would assume that
Soooooo you would assume that seeing as no-one else in the car was bothered by the "squealing" that it may have been SD over-reacting perhaps? CGU did state that he had stopped the noise he was making BEFORE SD said it.
Thank you, luchay. She was
Thank you, luchay. She was the one trying to get him to react and she is the one that caused any whimpers from him at all. She was trying to get him to START squealing so her dad would intervene and lil bro would be in trouble. Her FAVORITE game.
We had a perfectly lovely evening with the visiting relative. She saved this up for the car ride home, outside of the sight of the great-uncle. Putting my Dr. Freud hat on I would say she was tense from meeting a stranger and trying to appear pleasant all evening. Had to have her release once we got behind closed doors. SS had no whimpering whatsoever till SD started poking him, etc. in the car.
He is autistic. He will go
He is autistic. He will go from 0 to 75 in a short amount of time manifested in a whine. He is normally very cheerful and sweet. SD15's specialty is annoying him, tormenting him, pestering him until she gets her payoff--he whines. Then she gets the wonderful joy of yelling and screaming at him to "stop squealing!" She provokes him deliberately then releases her own tension from whatever by yelling at him, always the same whiny, squeal of her own.
When SS13 gets whiny in normal every day circumstances DH and I deal with it. It's usually easy to get him to turn it off. It's over with before you can say Jack Robinson.
But SD15 does not get to deliberately provoke and torment him until he gets this way then deliberately make him more and more and more upset by her aggressive bullying. She does do this on purpose. She and I have talked about it and she has admitted it. She does it because she's "bored."
So in this case SS13 was perfectly calm and self regulated with big sis sitting next to him trying to get him upset, cleverly packaging her bullying by claiming he was "squealing" when the only one emitting unpleasant high pitched whiny noises was her.
Did not know that. Well, I'm
Did not know that. Well, I'm glad I've met his teachers and caretakers and know that THEY are all loving and kind toward him and would not defend an older kid tormenting him.
What a hateful bully your SD
What a hateful bully your SD is!! She gets her jollies by tormenting her own autistic brother. Someone needs to slam her up against a wall. Cause they were bored, dontchaknow.
Yes. It's disgusting. One of
Yes. It's disgusting. One of my earliest experiences with her she was 12 and the 4 of us were out shopping. Dad and ssthen10 were hanging behind while sd and I were a good 50 feet in front. SD was tense because we were looking for a bathing suit for her. It's traumatic at half developed/half not to go looking for a bathing suit. I totally get that and I am disgusted at BM for leaving that to DH instead of making it a mom/daughter bonding thing.
So little girl is tense. What does she keep saying to me? "I just want to slap lil bro so hard right now." He was 50 feet behind! In no way bothering her!
Me, in shock from a little girl who would talk like that but also super angry at the emotionally negligent BM: "Would it help if you just slapped my wrist?"
Yeah. I really have it in for her. **Sarcasm Syrup**
ETA: BTW, I was giving her the benefit of the doubt by saying "he had stopped by then." I could have just as easily said, "you got him to whimper in the first place." But I "packaged" my own comments to her in a way that saved face for her and was least aggressive to her. Cuz, you know, I have it in for her.
You just hate all stepmoms.
You just hate all stepmoms. This is the conclusion I am coming too.
WTF...REALLY, thanks for the
WTF...REALLY, thanks for the support.
I said we were all having a
I said we were all having a perfectly pleasant evening until SD started mouthing and bossing SS. Not equipped like other children to defend himself, he did whimper once or twice. I could have and should have intervened the first time she opened her mouth. But I let her pull herself back. A girl who's nearly 16 might be expected to have outgrown tormenting an autistic sibling, don't you think?
But no. He quieted down even in the midst of her aggression which did not serve her script. So then she had to up her aggression and re-package the words. So to a perfectly silent and calm boy she was yelling "STOP SQUEALING."
Indeed, it would be very interesting to hear what challenges you face in step-life and how you came to find this board?
^^^^This is it exactly,
^^^^This is it exactly, Sally. It is wrong. It is bullying. It is unbearable to witness. She has admitted to me that she knows exactly how to get him upset AND to get him in trouble. And I have told HER it stops now or she'll have me to deal with. Mostly she doesn't do it in my sight any more. That night she started to and I had to remind her of our little chat through my actions.
Thank you for understanding and for your support.