...just as I predicted. Big surprise.

Last blog, I wrote that I just couldn't do it anymore. I was fed up with H, with BM, with the way I was being treated, and many more issues that I won't even get into here. If you read my past blogs you will see that my main issue with BM is her lack of boundaries and I had come to realize that my H is just as bad. H and I had a huge argument and he took the opportunity to housesit for MIL for a week so we could both have some time apart to think things over and try to reach a decision about our futures. SD was with BM for Spring Break during this time so we didn't have her for 2 full weeks.

We were hashing things out and DH's back-up plan was to go stay with a friend (he is married with a teenage daughter and a huge home) until he could find a place of his own if things did not work out between us. For some reason, he decides to call SD while she is on vacay with BM to tell her that they might be staying with "uncle X" when she came for visitation this week. Well, BM gets on the phone, wants to know the details, asks "if there is anything she can do for him" :sick: H just tells her that he isn't sure, we are trying to work things out, he just wanted to give SD a head's up. Whatever, she's 7. I think what he did is wrong on SO many levels.

Of course, I knew nothing about any of this until yesterday (first day of visitation with SD in 2 weeks). H calls me in a panic, telling me that BM filed a motion for an emergency change in visitation due to the fact that he is no longer living here. She sent him an email that he cannot pick SD up from school or keep her overnight. At this point the truth came out about the conversation he had with SD and BM. I just told him that he is an idiot. He had no business telling a 7 yr old about adult issues and that he deserved what he got for telling BM because I have been telling him for YEARS to STOP SHARING OUR LIVES WITH HER!

Anyway, his attorney said that she could not legally keep him from seeing SD. He called school and they basically said that the "note" BM sent meant nothing to them legally and he was free to pick SD up as usual. So he picked her up and they came back here to spend the night. He asked SD what her mother had told her about his visitation time. SD said that BM said it was not ok for her to spend the night at "uncle X's" because BM had not seen their house (these are friend's of H's for the last 30 years. BM knows both the husband and the wife very well).

He and I had a long conversation about how lack of boundaries leads to this very thing happening. This is not the first time either. He said he finally got it and he would never tell her anything about our lives ever again, he would only communicate via email, blah, blah, blah. Not sure if I believe it as it has all been said before. But I did think it was rather funny that the very thing that caused our argument to begin with almost immediately happened and I was proven right yet again. I think that was a bit of a wake up call for H.

I have to add that I don't really believe that H moving out had anything to do with BM trying to withhold SD. I think there is another reason entirely. One could be that BM was pissed that H was not crawling back to her or crying on her shoulder. In fact, he told me that he said to her on the phone that he loved his wife very much and was still hoping more that anything that we could reconcile. The other reason could be that H recently sent the dates for his 4 weeks of summer visitation. BM told him those dates "did not work for her" and he basically told her too bad, so sad, I get first dibs instead of fighting, begging and finally giving in to her like he normally does.

As SD spent the last night here, H and I just acted like everything was normal so as not to cause anymore drama. I've spent all evening expecting the crazy to come from BM once she picked SD up from daycare and heard that. I'm still waiting. I'll keep everyone here updated about how things progress with H, too.