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Place your bets...does DH ask for my help and if so, when/how?

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Tue, 04/14/2015 - 5:26pm

DH has to leave the house very, very early tomorrow morning, before school starts. He has known about this for at least two weeks. He hasn't said anything about my help in herding the skids in the morning. And my kid is not around, so I can leave at any time.

Your choices (unless you have an even more accurate one):

A. DH calls me soon and is very contrite knowing he didn't ask ahead of time and falling over himself to apologize and ask for my help.

B. DH remembers right before going to sleep and "reminds me" he's going to be gone early.

C. DH remembers right before going to sleep and asks me if I can take care of things.

D. DH wakes me up to remind me he won't be around for school routine.

E. DH wakes me up to ask me at the very last second.

F. DH hasn't said a word/doesn't say a word and because he just assumes I'll be around for it.

G. DH realizes that the kids are actually old enough to get themselves out the door and if they don't then it's on them that they were tardy (it's a ridiculously easy walk), and that they don't need me so there's no reason to ask and there will be no fallout if I'm not around to get them out the door.

It's not that I'm unwilling, but history has shown that he doesn't ask until I drop hint bombs or eventually point out the lack of courtesy.

Comments

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Tue, 04/14/2015 - 5:35pm

If he knows that you know about his trip and he hasn't mentioned skid prep plans to you then I'm going to go with F

Seems like BioParents here love to assume the steps got everything under control, ya know until the Step wants to actually hold out a consequence for bad behavior. If I were you, I'd remind him about that breakfast meeting/gathering you're going to tomorrow....and see if he panics or not. If he panics then he assumed you'd take up his slack, if he's not worried then he probably had it worked out anyway

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Tue, 04/14/2015 - 10:01pm

It's not A.
We are coming up on the possibility of B and C.
All of you are still in the running.

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Wed, 04/15/2015 - 6:22am

For those of you who guessed F...
YOU WIN!

My morning is going to function under the parameters of G. If DH can just assume I'll stick around later than usual to ride herd on them without asking me then it shouldnt be a surprise when I assume I can do my normal routine without checking with him.

fedupstep's picture

Submitted by fedupstep on Wed, 04/15/2015 - 6:34am

Is this a man thing? My DH always leaves everything to the last possible second and then expects me to drop everything to accommodate him. I am more than willing to help him be proactive, but the last minute meltdowns when he is unprepared gets old really fast.

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Wed, 04/15/2015 - 8:09am

Went with G: they are capable

The skids didn't seem to think anything of me heading out and not checking on them. It *may* be that DH told them to take care of themselves. DH hasn't called. The only way I'm gonna know is either one of them is tardy and BM or DH gets a call, or if it went fine but DH mentions that he told them to do G.

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Wed, 04/15/2015 - 9:51am

DH must have gone with F
...since he texted me to ask if the skids got up and moving okay. I replied yes but also asked why he was asking. His reply was that he told one of them in general to do a better job getting ready for school (the kid can waste more time than anyone I know). So, he did not tell them they were responsible for themselves this morning. But my phone hasn't blown up with calls or texts so the skids must have gotten to school just fine.

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Fri, 04/17/2015 - 2:00pm

Follow-up to "F" is the winner.

So, DH apologized and said he thought he had asked. So, definitely he did not go with G (the kids are old enough to handle it themselves) but did do F (didn't ask).

I went with G. They were fine. Even the skid who is notoriously late and lazy about getting his stuff done in the mornings managed to get himself out the door and to school on time. (Just like my kid did when I stopped being his conscience.)