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I think I just figured something out.

Ninji's picture

We got our first dog together "as a family" about three years ago. Immediately, SD and SS began calling themselves mom and dad to the dog. "Come to mommy" or "Daddy loves you". It always bothered me.

We have since added two more dogs, two cats (one has since gone missing), a fish and two hamsters. It's the same. SD and SS call refer to themselves as mom and dad or 2nd mom and 2nd dad to the pets.

I could never put my finger on the exact reason why it didn't feel right to me. It's not like the dogs know what is being said. SO never had a problem with it and encourages it.

Well, I think I figured it out.

This past weekend, I bought SO a boat (I know I’m an awesome GF), and he immediately began calling himself Captain, then me Captain and now the kids are also Captains.

SO is putting his kids on our (adult) level. He is acting like a peer instead of a superior. These nicknames sound harmless but they are teaching these kids that they are on our level. There is no distinguishing boundary between kid and adult.

Correct me if I'm wrong and just blowing this out of proportion, but it feels like I'm right.

Comments

Ninji's picture

I agree. My FIL and MIL have a boat that we go out on every Aug to get Lobster. Never once have either of them referred to SO or his brother as Captain. They are always deck hands. Smile

tryingmom's picture

Lightbulb moment!

SS's do this too, not here at our home, but at their BM's. BM got SS15 a dog and now he is Dad to it. He doesn't take care of it, doesn't feed it, doesn't bathe it, doesn't walk it. But he is the BEST DAD ever to it.

BM has filled their heads with BM is the BEST MOM ever and are following her lead in how they perceive the BEST PARENT. Thumping their own chests and declaring it, not actually providing and sacrificing to be a parent. They do believe that they are on the same level as BM. Well, in reality, no one parents at that house. They are all on the same footing.

Wow....Lord help them in the future, they will not be living in my home full time.

Tuff Noogies's picture

yup, you got it. sad your DH doesnt see anything wrong with that. it would rub me the wrong way too.

when the boys were younger (like 4, 7, that kind of young) they asked "so who is Dog's momma?" and dh said "Tuff." what about kitty1? "Tuff." and kitty2? "Tuff." thankfully i had my furbabies before they ever came along.

sadly, if you correct them or call out "Dog, come to mommy!" it'll look like you getting into a pissing contest over rank, which doesnt sound like your dh will EVER correct cuz he doesnt feel it's wrong. just shake your head and think "silly, silly kids. life is gonna bite them in the ass."

jojo68's picture

We have the same problem...any pet that has ever entered our home is taken over by SD15 and referred to as her's so until she goes away to college or goes somewhere when she is of age.

EvilAngel's picture

I don't even like for Thunderfoot to touch my puppy. I cringe every time she asks to see him. She always says, "He gets SO excited when he sees ME!" Yeah...he gets so excited when I am out of his sight for 10 seconds and return. Don't fool yourself kid. DH refers to her as his sissy. No, she's not his sissy. He's MY baby and I don't have any kids...therefore she would be his STEPsissy. I am so petty sometimes....sigh

Tuff Noogies's picture

when dh yells at my furbaby, or gets cranky at him for one reason or another, i tell him "you just hate my kid! you knew i had him when you met me!!"

Blum 3 that always makes him at least chuckle!

IamexhaustedSM's picture

Here ninja, http://www.thepirateking.com/historical/ship_roles.htm
Show this to H to make it fun for the kids but put them in their place, swabs!

Skids tried claiming my puppies. YSD and SS tried saying they were taking my little man and my spaz girl when they moved out. I looked at them, told them they were effing crazy, and just kept on walking by.