Thanks for your response, not2sure....but that's the smallest of the issues. It takes three hours for him to write three sentences for his homework. The teacher has his desk facing a wall away from other students to have some sort of order and that still doesn't work. Was written up three days of four last week. Not that it matters as he doesn't seem to understand that if he does A, it will equal B.

Daizy, he is super sweet. Overly sweet. Will tell you 100 times a day that he loves you.

Recently a man he never met before was at his grandmas to work on a fridge. The man was there maybe two hours. I guess he was nice to SS6. The grandma was very upset because SS6 asked to leave with maintenance man as he was leaving. No understanding of danger. Jumped in front of a go-kart my son was on recently. Thank God my son was able to swerve in time. When you ask him why, his answer is that he doesn't know.

Requested testing from school. They agreed. Waiting on it!

And Dad is really in denial. Seriously. If I leave, this little boy is screwed. Once I asked his dad to bring SS6 to therapy appointment. I had things to do. Of course it never happened. He said he didn't see after four appointments how it was helping. I'm hoping that once we get an official diagnosis from the mental health facility that perhaps he will show the concern needed.

Sorry, I noticed something was off when I first met the son. However, I thought it was just ADHD, which he was diagnosed with after I urged his father to take him to see someone. As he is getting older, other issues are starting to appear. He wet the bed one night and didn't tell anyone. Went to school with underwear wet with urine. Can't understand sight words the class has gone over since day 1 of school despite it being his second time in kindergarten.

Not really. We have custody. She has 6 kids and 6 baby daddies. We know she was on drugs/drinking while pregnant. He didn't even know he had a child on the way. She didn't tell him because she wasn't sure who the father was. He didn't find out until shortly after the baby was born and then did DNA test.

I've thought about leaving, but if I do, I feel like this child is not going to get the help he deserves. his teacher has said, and I agree, that of you don't keep a constant eye on him, things go crazy. And it's true. It's exhausting. I know I sound selfish but I miss when my life was my own.

This past Saturday, my son went to visit his grandmother. To avoid being at home, I left around 9 and went to eat and have mimosas alone. I came home and saw SS6 having a banana split and watching a Disney movie with his dad despite being in so much trouble the day before that the teacher said she was in tears by the end of the day. He also lied to my face about being in trouble that day. He asked me several times If I had talked to his teacher. I played dumb. He told me he had a great day and behaved himself very well. His teacher had already told me that he was completely out of control and was in time out for almost the whole day.It bothered me so badly to see him be rewarded, I left and didn't come back home until 10 that night.

And I'm not sure what to do. You punish him, he does it all over again. You don't punish him, he thinks all is well and does it all again. It's a catch 22. But I'm trying to provide structure and can't handle watching his father reward bad behavior.

You're right. I tried once again to talk to his father. He told me that his son is smarter than he was at his age because he has more support. Wtf? That its not like his son is retarded because he isn't drooling everywhere. The most ignorant and uneducated explanation I have ever heard. I explained what intellectually disabled meant and showed him a print out of symptoms, all but one of which his son displays on a regular basis. He changed the subject. It's just so sad,

KoolAide,

I'm waiting for this testing and diagnosis. I think I'm out after that or at least disengaging.

Who brings him to all of his psychiatry appointments? Me. Who talks to the teacher several times a day? Me. Who researches things and meets with the school to handle all of the testing, etc.? Me. The crap creek they will be up once I leave or disengage will be MONUMENTAL.

What's even more interesting is that I ADORE the relationship the father has with my own son. It's great. WONDERFUL. My son actually has told me, "As much as I love his father, I wish you would just leave him so we don't have to deal with the son. It's not worth it to me." :jawdrop:

Heckfire - I had sat here for twenty minutes and wrote you the longest response known to man. Of course, I hit the wrong button on the computer and it deleted. Let me see if I can recall some key points, lol.

WOW. Just WOW do our situations sound similar. It's crazy. It left me wondering if your SS was ever diagnosed with anything. I don't recall reading where you said he had been.

I tend to believe SS6 really is just that loving. I mean, he honestly and truly was going to leave with that maintenance man. The man could have been a pedophile. It really was quite scary.

I'm going to test out the pretending to be dumb thing. Obviously, if he manipulative enough to hide papers (my SS6 has done that before) and ask me if I have talked to the teacher before lying and telling me he had a great day, he isn't some completely intelligence-challenged child. I just don't know what would be the point in pretending to not understand the simplest of questions.

We have been getting up and ready for school for two years now but he still doesn't remember to tuck in his shirt, fix his collar or even put on socks some days or his uniform shirt. I just want a diagnosis.

I DO love SO. Before I met his son and witnessed their relationship, I thought he was the most amazing man. I didn't think a man like him existed. But I bet 75% of the folks on this message board could say the same thing. Aside from him blindness where is son is concerned, I just fell completely in love with who he is as a person. So...rock...meet hard place.

I wanted to add that SS6 isn't a bully to my knowledge. He is always super nice to my son. Always wanting to open doors for him, etc. As a matter of fact, half of the trouble he gets into at school involves him "playing with his friends" in his head. In reality, he is bothering these kids and they are telling on him.

He has almost 30 kids in his class. He has gotten ONE birthday party invitation. I asked the teacher if they have had parties outside of school and she says they have. It's sad. But he doesn't understand social cues. The teacher told me that she can give a look to any kid in the class and they know it means that they aren't doing something right. She gives that look or ANY look to SS6, he just smiles at her sweetly.

furkids - My mother has said the same thing. She met my father when my halfbrother was maybe 2. She said she could tell something was wrong right away. But with stars in her eyes, married my father despite his refusal to see problems (my brother is an adult and my father still doesn't see the issues all the time). She said she doesn't regret having me, but if she could go back in time, she would not have made the same choices.

I really don't know what I will do. Furkids, SS6 shows no empathy or concern for others either. There is never an apology or concern. And to be honest, I have a hard time bonding with him because of it. I tell him to NOT do something. He will repeat it back to me. Two minutes later, he's doing it. There is no apology. He broke my $1000 laptop. We have told him time and time again not to touch or play with other people's property. I was in TEARS about this computer. He looked at me cry, turned around and kept playing with his toys. I find it very hard to bond with him due to things like this. I know its not his fault, but its still very hard.