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Tonight is the night

WifeVersion2.0's picture

Submitted by WifeVersion2.0 on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:00pm

Finally have all my ducks lined up. New bank account, apartment lease signed, counseling session completed, closest inner circle has been notified of my intentions.

Now I just have to tell my husband that I'm leaving. I've played the scenario over in my head a million times. I don't know how he will react (other than surprised). I'm worried about hurting him and a little sad about losing him and the step kids and the family I've fought so hard to create. I'm scared he's going to want to fight about the few items I want to take with me and I'm worried about the tension when I'm actually moving items from our house.

Anyway, just wanted to update the board. I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Comments

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:27pm

You should load up everything and then tell him if that's possible. Do it while he's out of the house, heck send him to the store for groceries.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:31pm

Go all Katie Holmes on him. Have your own security team within steps. Tell him you've had enough and you're moving on. All business, sir, just business. Then snip snap done!

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:42pm

Stay strong no matter what he throws at you. You can do this. You will feel so much better. You deserve better. STAY STRONG!

HungryEyes's picture

Submitted by HungryEyes on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:43pm

2 Additional things: CHANGE YOUR NUMBER AND DON'T TELL HIM WHERE YOU ARE GOING. These 2 things are VITAL! Please heed my warning. Shut down social media if you have to and tell your close friends to keep their mouths shut. Clean break for yourself and your children.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 1:44pm

Wait a minute. Just refreshed myself on your backstory. Do not do this alone!

Wait till he's at work. Then remove your stuff. Never come back after that. Get ensconced in your new apartment. Do not tell him where. Have your lawyer serve him or tell him.

This guy has a violent temper. Absolutely do not endanger yourself further. You do not owe him an in person explanation.
Be out of the house before he knows what you're up to.

WifeVersion2.0's picture

Submitted by WifeVersion2.0 on Tue, 03/24/2015 - 7:11pm

I appreciate everyone's advice, really I do.

My apartment is available Thursday morning. I have a contingency plan in place in case things get ugly. I have an emergency bag packed and have already removed important documents/papers that I need to a place he can't access and most importantly I have a safe place to stay tonight and tomorrow if necessary.

He's in his "I'm sorry let me show you how great I can be phase" at the moment. Therefore, my gut reaction is that he's going to be sad and upset and beg me to stay. This is why I have the lease signed and deal done. Staying isn't an option. I'm not going to stay. The car situation is complicated, I need to take his daily driver with me when I go because it's in my name. My daily driver is in his name. So, I can't really just leave while he's gone. Plus he works from home 3 days a week and I don't always know what days he will be here and which days he will go to the office, that makes it difficult to execute the pack and go option while he's gone.

Bills are tangled and I'd like tomorrow to untangle them if he's rational. If not, then I just cut off the ones in my name and let him figure it out. I feel safe at the moment, the second that changes I'll be gone.