Bm still as rude as ever
Yesterday Dh and I were at a bbq and Dh gets a text from Bm who just got married this past weekend...
Bm: I'm leaving for my honey moon tomorrow and will not be back until Saturday at 7pm so you need to pick up Ss on Friday and I'll pick him up on Sunday.
Dh: That's fine but in the future it would be nice if you could ask rather than demand. You know I'd be more willing to work with you if you weren't so rude all the time. The court order says everything has to mutually agreed upon, not you texting me telling what I need to do. Have a nice honeymoon.
Bm: HAHA okay whatever that wasn't rude but cool
Seriously though, Wtf is her deal? Is it so hard to be polite? You'd think for being a newlywed she wouldn't have such a craptastic attitude. I mean how hard is it to be like "Hey, I’m going out of town and won’t be back until Saturday, do you think you can pick up Ss on Friday and I'll get him on Sunday?" It's so aggravating because Dh wants to Co-parent with her but she's also such a nasty biotch. Dh thought about telling her "sorry, per our court order, he needs to be dropped off" but he didn't want to fight with her and he didn't know it would even be contempt considering she said she would pick him up... which I doubt she will even do, I have a feeling she's going to pull the "you drop him off here or take him to school in the AM" card. I just wish she could grow up already.
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You know, in the future that
You know, in the future that will have to be what happens. I just don't get why she has such an issue with just talking with Dh and coming to an agreement instead of being like "you're GOING to do xyz" and waiting to see what he says. She's just asking for conflict.
Same with us and BM, we just
Same with us and BM, we just say "no".
She would never ask us to watch them on her time. She did once and we started to move everything around to accommodate the kids BUT then it dawned on me "doesn't she always ask her mom rather than us?" YEP...she knew we had travel plans and was trying to get us to cancel them to help her out so she could cancel on us last minute.
Other than that BM always texts us "I'm taking the kids Saturday, I want them for blah blah blah on Sunday, i'll pick them up at 2pm" or whatever.
DH started to say no recently and now she is getting the hint.
Aggrivating, isn't it? Bm
Aggrivating, isn't it? Bm likes to do that too, Like how she was demanding that Dh not be late for drop off during last visitation because she wasn't going to wait for him if he was late... she was dropping him off, how could he be late to his own house? doesn't make any sense. Smh.
You're right, Tog. That's
You're right, Tog. That's exactly what's going to happen. I just wonder how that will play out and how high stress it's going to get. It has to be done though because I feel like with him agreeing this time, she's going to run with it and start demanding stuff right and left and see what his response is. It's like training a freaking dog.
Oh she absolutely has NO
Oh she absolutely has NO respect for him. It's odd to me. He pays his support like clockwork, he's never missed a visitation... It's mind boggeling to me how little she thinks of him. She doesn't have to like him but she should at least be thankful that he's a good father.
Yup, sounds about right to
Yup, sounds about right to me. Bm is always complaining that Dh doesn't do "enough" for Ss but I'm not sure what else there is to do. He pays support, he has his vistation, he's involved with school stuff... It's just not on her terms. He doesn't have to go thru her anymore for school or doctor stuff because he has joint legal custody.
Darn right they wants all the money and the control just not the responsibility. It's disgusting.
Honestly it sounds like a
Honestly it sounds like a straight forward message. (IMO) I'd be happy to get that compared to a BM who is using foul language or sending a 5 page text.
Yeah, I kind of thought that
Yeah, I kind of thought that too but with the court order just being established 2 weeks ago and Bm already trying to manipulate the drop off time that was est in court during the last exchange, this wasn't a direct to the point message, this was her way of trying to assert herself as "boss" kwim? It's annoying. What if Dh couldn't pick him up on Friday, then what? ya know? The court order says she's to drop him off on friday and dh is to drop him off with her on sundays.
He has taught her to treat
He has taught her to treat him like that. Time to teach her a different way to treat him.
He could just text I will not respond to any of your rude texts. From here on out, ask me, don't tell me. That is the only texts I will respond to.
This is such a good response.
This is such a good response. Thank you. I think I'm going to let Dh read this. You are absolutely right in that he's taught her that this is okay and that needs to change. They don't need to be friends or anything of the sort but there should be a certain respect in order for their to be communication, ya know? I almost feel like she probably feels like she won some sort of battle because she got him to agree even though she was being an a$$ about it and that sucks because that's one broke boundary that she thinks she'll be able to cross again.
We had a No Contact order.
We had a No Contact order. The only way that BM was allowed to text or call was if there was a change in the schedule.
Of course, she always found some reason that SD wasn't going to be able to come. Being the control freak that she is, even though it was COed, she still felt like she had final say.
Finally (with my prompting), DH started saying NO. After that, BM decided to have SD call HERSELF (after, of course, figuring out some truly amazing event to entice SD with!) so if DH said no, he would look like the bad guy.
Interestingly enough, SS came every single time except twice. Once because BM said he was being naughty so she was withholding as punishment. Poor guy. Second time, SS asked because his grandfather wanted to take him to a major league baseball game 4 hours away.
Is she going on a cruise?
Is she going on a cruise? Maybe she'll get pushed overboard? or Hawaii? Maybe she'll fall in a volcano?
One could only dream...
One could only dream... }:)
I had a blog up earlier but
I had a blog up earlier but took down due to details. BM's latest play was to call SO at work and demand a meeting to discuss him and SD15's relationship issue. When SO shot her down, she got quite upset (poor misguided twit).
She tried to make out that it was urgent but insisted that only "her biological parents" could meet to discuss. SO stood his ground and refused to meet with her unless both partners were present too. And the bitch wouldn't tell him the actual reason.
She still hasn't told us, but we figured it out since SS came to visit.
BM still believes she has the right to speak with SO about where he chooses to live and how many bedrooms we should have. She actually believed she had input in his choices.
Stupid, deluded, confused moron has to learn what divorce actually means. Even if I have to print the word out, imprint it onto her forehead and help her absorb it through her toxic maniuplative pores. Some people are either so damn dense they can't see the forest for the trees..or have to be taught slloowwwlllyyy so they can learn it once and for all.
Divorce means you never get to have any say in your exes life whatsoever!! Unless of course it's an actual, real emergency - like..if the house was on fire..goddammit!!
Wow, IslandGal, that's too
Wow, IslandGal, that's too much but not surprising. I don't know why some of these ex's think they have some sort of say/control etc in our dh's/dw's lives. Bm used to love to throw around the whole "I'm the mother of your child!" whenever Dh wouldn't give into whatever crap she was spewing. Once Dd was born it turned into "i'm the mother of your son!". I guess if we have another baby and it happens to be a boy she'll have to alter that to "I'm the mother of one of your kids!" LOL!