At least you talked it through. 

What is the strategy for next time?  Can SD have two sets of uniforms so I at Beaver's den and one at your house?  Can SD get a cab home if she's sent off shift early?  Just some thoughts on how to minimise their lack of planning impacts your life.

In all honesty, why is it DH's problem? I get that Beaver is a deadbeat BM, but that doesn't make it DH's problem. What if you guys had been out of town or unavailable? What then? If SD is old enough to have a job, she is old enough to figure something out; getting a ride from a friend or another family member, taking an Uber, etc. SD cannot be relying on you both for everything and DH needs to stop setting that expectation. In my opinion, if it's not DH's weekend, it's not his problem. I think you will feel a lot less resentment if that line in the sand is drawn. 

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Once you knew she was at home sleeping, I would have left her a voice mail and sent her a text telling her the same thing, that SD was sent home from work and that, as he couldn't get a hold of her (Beaver) he had ordered SD a taxi and told them that Beaver would be paying for it on arrival. But I'm bad that way :)  Bet she'd have been up and running in record time.

How far is it to SD's work from Beaver's? Is there public transportation? Does the GWR drive?

Saturday before mothers day, SDst16 called wanting a ride to our house to pick up mothers day present for Toxic Troll. Before that was the moving Feral Forger back from 3 hours away. Before that were the times that SD B/M couldnt get her mother on the phone and she was by herself.

I got tired, am so tired of all these arguments because Toxic Troll and skids. Ive disengaged significantly as of this weekend.

Yep, SD needs to have a plan in place. For all the different next times.

What you wrote is exactly how I feel! I hate when days we dont have SD I have to see her! Even if she stops by for just a few minutes to grab something she is stil inturrupting me and DH. One Monday after school she stopped by to get something she had forgotten and plopped down on the couch I guess to sit and chat with DH. I was fuming! She had just spent the whole weekend here. 

This weekend was one of our 2 weekends a month without her and we had gone away for the night Saturday. I thought we wouldnt be bothered by SD too much since Saturday morning she had left to go to Disney with the entire senior class. But guess what?? She texted the second we were walking into the hotel room (just to tell him they had reached Florida but stll had 3 hours to go)! Then of course she texted later that night and then she texted first thing in the am which woke DH up early which meant I had to wake up early (Its hard to sleep in in a hotel room when the other person is up and about) and the best part???? She texted again at 10am as we were fooling around to send him a pic of the castle. I am so sick of her not thinking that just becuase she is awake her dad and I might be sleeping in. I am so tired of her thinking she can inturrupt our days when we dont have her! 

My question in all of this is what is your DH's plan to mitigate this problem in the future?

Can SD get her license? If so, what is he doing to help that? Does SD know the number for a local cab company, and will the cab company pick her up? If not, what is he doing to teach her these things? If Beaver can't be relied upon, then DH may need to tell SD she can only work during his custody times. 

This is an annoying situation for sure, but the question is, what is your DH going to do about it? He's on extra thin ice with you, and this would be an excellent opportunity for him to show that he recognizes the problem and is actively working to fix it. You might have to tell him that this is an excellent opportunity, but that seems like a small price to pay. It will give you loads of information as move forward about whether he's actually willing to put in the work for your marriage or not.

Right or wrong, I live for skid-free weeks, and interruptions by them, especially extremely avoidable/uneccessary interruptions, really frustrate me. SS16 would always text and say he had a package delivered at our house and ask if he (meaning, Crazy would be driving him over) could stop and pick it up. I let him the first time because it was something I knew he was really excited to get- but explained that after that, he would have to wait until our custody week to get the package. He has repeatedly tried to text us to ask if a package came/hint at picking it up, but DH and I both tell him he can get it when he's with us next. I flat-out explained to him the feeling of someone who is extremely hateful to you coming to your house (i.e. Crazy), interrupting your peace, and we frankly do not want her here. He seemed to get that because he knows how awful she is to us. But when DH is always taking them to appt's on her weeks (almost every week they are at her house, he takes one skid to an appt), and then I have to hear about it....I die a little inside. She just cannot figure shit out on her time, DH has to do it or they wouldn't get to their millions of Dr. appt's.  Also, DH texts with SS alllll the time when he isn't here. He will then keep the text thread open on his phone and just stare at it for minutes, waiting for SS to respond. It annoys me so much I sometimes finally say, what are you doing?? Like, focus!! 

DH would do the same thing yours did and pick SD up, but it's sooo frustrating....he needs to figure out a better solution. 

This is tough because SD was stuck and I understand your DH needing to go get her.  I know it's difficult at the moment but assuming there is a plan to get SD a license and a car she can drive to and from work - can this be something you both just accept and deal with for another few months?  

I wouldn't send her in an Uber either.  If your area is safe enough I would maybe be ok with her walking the mile to your place but then she's still stuck there until Beaver shows up.  Unless she can arrange for rides with any co-workers, I don't see a good solution other than just get SD driving soon.  And I think it's important that SD work so I wouldn't limit that.

Sorry your evening was ruined.

This is a tough sitiuation. It's not SDs fault Beaver is a POS and DH isn't going to leave his kid out to dry because of It. Story of my life with BM and skids. 

I haven't been with SO as long as you and your DH (approaching 7 years) but, I totally understand what you mean. It's not fun. 

I've built some serious resentment towards BM because I feel like my relationship with SO was basically put on hold because she's such a POS and it's been over 4 years since they stopped their EOWE at her house. I thought we would always at least have a little alone time. NOPE.

Which made everyday life between us harder and we will say the fire dwindled. It's getting that back (which I'm assuming you and your DH are working on) with the constant f'n wrenches that never seem to stop in step life. It's finding the balance of not letting the shit get to us as much IMO.

I am sorry the beaver IMO not SD ruined your night. 

Oh man I can relate to your frustration 100%!! I hate toxic BM being a POS parent! If my DH got a call from SD or SS needing to be picked up, he would do it. It's his child and he would rather pick them up knowing their safe then ignore their call. I'd be more angry at POS BM sleeping too. Seriously wtf?! 
I'll never forget the time when SS and SD was 5 and 3 and went to the local pub for dinner with Toxic BM and her BF at the time. She likes to have a few drinks and never takes responsibility of her children. Well SS and SD decided to walk out of the pub and walk down the road, and cross a major intersection. At night! Thank god an honest and responsible adult saw them and immediately returned them back to the pub. Toxic BM didn't even notice they were missing! I just can't even wrap my head around that! How can you be at dinner with a 3 and 5 year old and not know they were missing?! 
DH and I were only dating at the time, but oh man I should have seen the red flags of what I would be dealing with then. 

What would SD do if she got stuck and her go to people are out of town, not available?   You can't put your marriage on hold for this.  They are going to have to come up with a solution, I like the working only on custody days. It takes BM out of the equation.  If she picks a shift up outside if that then SD has to have a plan in place and there will be no exceptions.  That's a decent boundary to put in place.  She is 16 and must be of average intelligence to figure it out.  Let her hang once.  Let her call, pay for the cab.   

This is a tough one.  I was that kid scrambling for a ride at times to school events that I had to be at, to work, etc.  If not for my dad sometimes I wouldn't have had a ride. I had to bum rides with friends too, when Dad wasn't available.  He had an odd work schedule so sometimes he was available, sometimes not. Mom was rarely available because of work, not due to being irresponsible.  I feel for you and SD here.  The fact that I was the kid who usually needed a ride makes me hesitant to try to go back to work until both of my kids can drive themselves where they need to be.  In my case, my mom had custody but my dad ended up stepping in a lot because of her work schedule keeping her out so much.  I can imagine my SM wouldn't have been too thrilled either but they didn't start seeing each other until sometime after I was driving.  

On one hand, you guys need your time together with no interruptions, but on the other hand, he still has a minor child who still needs his help at times and no other reliable support around.  That's one thing I did have.  I had friends close by whose moms were willing to drive me, my dad was within walking distance, and my brother helped me out when he was available.  So I had more support than SD does.  She has an irresponsible mother and the only responsible relative in her life is her dad.  This may be one of those deals where you really can't do anything except make sure she gets her license when she can and do whatever is possible to help her get a car so she can take care of herself more.  She needs to learn anyway because Dad won't be around forever anyway and the rest of her family is unreliable.  

As far as Uber, I don't know.  I probably wouldn't feel comfortable with letting one of my kids use it.