Its been hot sec as my daughter says...

Due to work, kids and well DH..I took a step back and focused on ME...

So...where are we at..

DH....decided to try an implode our marriage by arguing over stupid crap..and then pulling the old..."I need to protect myself from you so I'm going to record you yelling at me"...

Uh..talk about a trigger....the village idiot used to do that after he provoked me endlessly for days.....then would record my losing my shiznit.   So yea...that was a big NOPE...and and immediate...you need to leave the premisis to DH.  I actually left and went to work (I usually work from home on that day).  From work. I told DH if he needs to "protect" himself from me..he needed to LEAVE MY HOUSE.  Yes, its my house and only mine.  He had till 4 p.m. when I left work...or I would call the police and have him escorted off the property.  

DH...complied and went to a hotel.  He called later that night I laid it all out for him.

1.  Get his arse back to therapy..and I mean real therapy not the chit chat sh*t he was pulling before.  Get to to the bottom of his issues or get out. I'm done waiting.

2.  I will NOT put up with his double standards..no gaslighting no lying..no defensivness...NONE.

Then I hung up and let him rot in the hotel room.  I went on to call kid 1 and we went hiking, etc.  I wasn't sitting home waiting for DH.  Noope...

Next Day DH called again from the hotel and I told him I would call him back.  Kid 1 was there and were cooking together.  Oh and the kids all know about his cheating and sh*tty behavior now....so he can just suck it up.

DH was scared sh*tless.  He clocked I was DONE with a capital D...and I wasn't sitting around waiting for him.  In 18 years I have never made him leave the house....not once..not even after I discovered his hidden life. 

so..DH has been going to therapy...real therapy and making changes.  He knows he is on borrowed time and I can and will kick his @ss to the curb.  

On the kid front.

kid 1 still figuring out his life.

kid 2 just took her last exam for her masters and it still in Scotland enjoying her life.  She, as I suspected, is not coming home and will find a job over there and stay there.

kid 3..finally moved out of Beaver's basement and into an apt with his girlfriend.  We shall see how long that lasts.

kid 4...graduating from beauty school on Friday and will be going to community college to become and LPN....she wants to inject botox, etc.

I on the other hand have been working my hobbies and paying off my debt (only the mortgage to go)...and once I'm debt free I will be pursuing other employment/retirement.

So..kids are good...DH well he is work in progress..and Me...therapy had made a big differenence I'm good.....really good.