Ss13 gets to go on vacation and not me?
So MIL is flying here for a few days to celebrate nephews graduation. The plan was for ss13 to fly back to mil home state and spend a few weeks there. Then dh, BS and myself would travel down and visit for a week, then return home. All this was planned before ss13 pulled his most recent shit.
I am switching jobs and therefor won't have vacation time to use. So the trip will most likely not happen. Dh wants to still send ss13 and then pay extra to fly him back by himself.
We fight about this constantly because I don't think it's fair that ss13 gets to go on vacation if I can't go on one. Ss13 behavior has been anything but acceptable and he might not pass 7th grade. My dh makes more money then me, but my take home pay checks are bigger due to child support being taken out. So I feel as if I'm working 50 hours weeks to send ss13 on a vacation and he doesn't deserve this.
What to do?
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Yeah, I see your point, but
Yeah, I see your point, but it's going to cost a lot more money. To send him on vacation with us would have costed us nothing extra, just our travel exspense. But to send him alone, and us not go on vacation it will cost us $1000.
My logic is I don't want to
My logic is I don't want to fork out money for a skid that I want nothing to do with to go on vacation. A vacation that I was suppose to take as well, but my company is going out of business so I had to switch jobs. I don't want to contribute to his happiness because I would care less about him. His recent behavior was very personal to me and I'm not over it. Why should I have to pay for him to have fun?
If the trip is scheduled
If the trip is scheduled during dad's time, to visit dad's mom, then expecting mom to help pay for is just as crazy as expecting SMe to pay for it.
Dad should be the only one responsible for this trip.
If I didn't change jobs, I
If I didn't change jobs, I would be jobless in a few months. The ss would be eating ramen when he came to visit because we wouldn't be able to afford anything.
Not allowing him to go, is
Not allowing him to go, is cutting off your nose to spite your face. If he's with grandma for a few weeks, he's out of your hair.
Since you're willing to let him go if you can go, then his behavior really isn't a factor in all of this. It sounds like you want to punish the kid because you can't go, not because he's misbehaving.
Just because you bring in more money doesn't mean you should fund this trip. Time for dad to work a bit of over time or pick up a second job.
THIS^^^ think of your
THIS^^^ think of your "vacation" as a staycation... you are staying at home and enjoying weeks of skid freedom!
Does this kid get a month off
Does this kid get a month off from school for spring break or something? How is he going to visit with MIL for a few weeks, especially when he's in danger of failing 7th grade??? Am I missing something here?
It's planned for June.
It's planned for June.
I don't expect anyone to see
I don't expect anyone to see my logic in this. I'm upset that I would have to fund a trip that I can't take. I work my ass off to bring a paycheck into the house. My dh and I share exspenses, always have. We bring in 6 figures, but our bills are 6 figures. So sending ss alone on this trip will cost extra and eat into what little savings we have for emergencys. Dh and I can't get overtime, we are salaried workers. We also can't get a second job, because my days off are during the week and I keep BS from daycare. This is how we cut down daycare.
Maybe this doesn't call under punishment, but I am still resentful towards the skid. He violated my privacy and I feel dirty and want nothing to do with him right now.
I don't expect anyone to see
I don't expect anyone to see my logic in this. I'm upset that I would have to fund a trip that I can't take. I work my ass off to bring a paycheck into the house. My dh and I share exspenses, always have. We bring in 6 figures, but our bills are 6 figures. So sending ss alone on this trip will cost extra and eat into what little savings we have for emergencys. Dh and I can't get overtime, we are salaried workers. We also can't get a second job, because my days off are during the week and I keep BS from daycare. This is how we cut down daycare.
Maybe this doesn't call under punishment, but I am still resentful towards the skid. He violated my privacy and I feel dirty and want nothing to do with him right now.
This.
This.
THIS He could earn extra
THIS
He could earn extra money working retail(nights so there's no need to deal with day care) during the holiday season. He could earn about 3-4 thousand dollars working from Halloween until after Christmas. That money could be used to cover the extras for his kid.