There's a lot to reapond to so sorry of I miss anything.

It's 3 hours, I'm using a tablet and the keys are close together, SD18 broke my laptop.

I am on the fence with the adult/child situation. She wants to be treated like an adult, and I always have treated her that way. She chooses to act like a child though.

The argument didn't start over her doing the wrong chore, I should have clarified that. SD18 pushed SD13 out of the way and demanded that, even though I said otherwise, SD18 got to start first. I wouldn't say I argued with her, I'm not saying I wasn't immature about it thiugh. I raised my voice and had to yell because she kept over talking me.

The problem is she demands respect but never gives any. This wasn't an issue until her mom kicked her out. She's always been the easiest to deal with. She's been 'upset' since her dad decided that after almost a year of being out of school and not working that she needed to find a job or go to school. She came to me and when I told her I agreed with him she got pissed.

I don't think she lacks respect for me because I'm just a girlfriend, we are engaged though. That has never been an issue, like I said.

I don't call cleaning up a chore once you're an adult. I think it's a responsibility. I even have a chore/responsibility chart.

The high chair im the living room is an ongoing battle. I want it put away, and I've done this several times.

SO did not get a free pass. That's part of the reason he got up and did it all himself. This has also been an ongoing battle with him. He thinks since he works he doesn't have to clean, but it's ok that I work, take care of everything involved in running a household inside and out, our kids and am pregnant. He works 3rd shift so him sleeping during the day is normal and he can't always be awake for the older kids.

The kitchen and dining room messes were just the girls. I wash as I go when I cook and after eating and SO never cooks. I never ask the girls to clean up after DS1 UNLESS they ask to switch chores for whatever reason and that's the only option.

SD18 only does her chores when it's convenient for her. Like 5am before dad gets home so the dishes sit all night. She won't look for a job, declined our offer to pay for a few college courses because she didn't want to start in a month, barely does her chores as it is (every few days) and half asses them. She won't cook for herself, won't clean up after herself and is disrespectful to everyone in the house. A good example is I caught her hitting DS1 in the face with a ball over and over. Told her to stop and never do it again. She does it again and said he enjoys it. No. He's almost 2. I'm not letting anyone teach my son how to be a bully or get bullied. Another example, she held DS1 upside down and the dog bit his face. I told her he was crying and to stop and the dog bit him. SD18: he's not crying he likes it. No he didn't bite him. She bullies SS15 and claims he bullies her.

SD18 has issues that go beyond this post. This argument isn't the only reason she needs to leave. SD13 is heading in the same direction. She is influencing the younger kids and my step life is crumbling because of that.

SO does need to parent her. He does great and then fucks up by trying to befriend his children. I will never be my son's friend, only his mom.

And yes I saw the hedgehog post, reminded me of when we got that damn puppy.

I'm pretty much a lurker here, I see it as a journal with comments lol. I appreciate the advice I've gotten here, mostly from other's blogs that I read, and I always use it if I can/it's relevant.

Also, I agree that the whole point of chores and responsibilities is to teach them how to function on their own. SD18 has the same chores as SD13 and SS15, she should have more or at least harder ones.

DS1 cleans up his own toys when I'm here. He's learning to make his own bed too. After our bedtime story he outs his own book back. This is what I expect from the girls. The biggest issue is they won't pick up their own things, wash their own dishes, won't shower or brush their teeth etc.

I think it's hilarious that SD18 teases SD13 for not brushing her teeth everyday when SD18 showers maybe twice a month. The lack of hygiene came from their moms. They've both lived with their mothers until last year. I'm stuck trying to fix their lack of parenting.

I don't think the big problems came from us. When BM1 couldn't handle SS15 she sent him to live with us during the summer, I was a SAHM at the time. SS15 hasn't had issues since. DS1 is as well behaved as any toddler. The nieces I practically raised are well behaved also. SO does do the disneydad thing with the teens though.

Twice a month that I can tell. SO works 3rd and I work 1st or 2nd so someone is always home but we never hear the shower. We've tried talking to her about it but can't. She thinks we are being disrespectful and hate her. Same as when we try to get her to do something with her life. I can't stand the smell, I won't get close to her and sure as hell can't eat with her in the room. SD13 is refusing to shower now too.