Almost 5 years ago, I became a SM. My DH had 2 girls from his first marriage. Well, to be honest, the older one was a SD for him, but he was the only Dad she ever knew. So, when he divorced her mom, he didn't want abandon her.

Anyway, the girls were 13 and 6. I have a BS that was also 13. So, yes, this was gonna be a fun ride. Well, so start things off the SD13 went back and forth about coming to the wedding. Finally, 1 week before the wedding she wanted to go but she didn't have a dress. Her BM said she would take her shopping and she what they could find, but SD13 wanted a dress from the bridal shop. When my DH and I first told her, I asked her to be a junior bridesmaid. I told her that she would have a fancy dress ... yada yada yada. Even right before the last fitting, I offered it up to her again. SD13 did not want to stand up. I said that was fine, but her Dad and I still wanted her to be there. SD13 still didn't know. I said that we could get her a dress, just not like the other bridesmaids. But, yet now, a week before the wedding, she wanted a dress from the bridal shop. Her BM told her that she couldn't go to our wedding. I was a little upset that BM did talk to my DH and I about it. I wasn't getting her a dress from the bridal shop, but maybe something could be worked out. But, needless to say, SD13 was not coming.

This is what I had learned from my DH about SD13 prior to our wedding. She was a very bossy child, had to have everything her way, could have an attitude sometimes. This sounded, to me, like a normal teen girl (especially one that the hormones were trying to take over). Well, however, I SAW something quite different.

We have the girls every other weekend. So, we had a two bedroom apartment. My BS lived with me (no BF in picture). That was probably the stupidest thing my DH and I ever did, according to SD13. The first thing SD13 asked was where was her room. I would have loved to have the SDs have their own room, but my DH and I could not afford it. So, the SDs would sleep on the futon when they came. SD13 was upset that BS got his own room. "It's not FAIR!!!" BS lives with us ALL the time. So, SD13 decided that she was going to take over BS's walk in closet as her bedroom.

This is all happening the FIRST day we moved in to the apartment! SD13 went into the closet, closed the door and proceeded to just talk on her phone. Even though she was still supposed to be helping move. My BS went to open the door to tell SD13 that they needed to get going and SD13 leaned on the inside of the door so BS could not open it, yet BS kept pushing until ... CRACK!!!!! The closet door now had pulled away from the hinge and the hinge pulled from the wall. DH and I reprimanded both kids and yet SD13 was so upset because it wasn't HER fault.

WOW! All I can say is WOW!

And of course it went downhill from there. My DH didn't have much of a backbone when it came to his ex or SD13. It has been hills and mountains to get to where DH and I are today as well as SD(now 18), but still a long way to go. SD18 still has her moments, but DH is better with her especially when correcting her. Yet she still thinks that she can do whatever she wants whenever she wants. Like take her dad's car without asking while he is sleeping all because she did have permission to go to school, but DH said to let Grandpa know so that he doesn't freak out. SD18 heard ... You can use my car, but just let Grandpa know when you are going out.

There have been lots of ups and downs with the SDs and BS. SD (now 11) for the most part has been an angel. She makes mistakes, but usually owns up to them. SD11 is scared of SD18 though. SD18 has asked SD11 to lie for her. SD18 has told SD11 that she would hurt her if she didn't do what SD18 wanted. SD18 and I have bonded and then I hate her again (according to SD18), then we bond again, then I hate her.

Yet, there is so much left to do with our blended family.