Heart Breaks
OSS has and is having some emotionally issues that cause him to hold his bowel movements which in turn causes him to have accidents. OSS is 10 and in the 3rd grade.
DH and I thought we had gotten through to him, because it had been almost 2 months with no accidents. Then this weekend 2 accidents, one on Saturday and one on Sunday. He tired to hide Saturday's accident but I found it when I was sorting dirty clothes to wash.
So we took video games away from him and then the Sunday accident happened, SMH. Told OSS to go to the bathroom and don't come out until you have pooped. He was in there for 45 minutes and nothing. DH told him "you have 5 more minutes or I am taking you to the ER and having them give you an enema." OSS flipped out, got up off the toilet and started screaming and crying saying he wished he was dead, wished he would just die. Then started choking himself, DH couldn't get him to stop or calm down, so he ended up slapping him to get him to snap out of it.
Finally OSS went back to the bathroom and DH gave him 5 minutes to go and guess what he went poop.
I am so lost and confused over this, in the couple of months that we didn't have any issues out of him BM was in jail. DH pointed that out, which I was happy he noticed. I am so scared what emotional damage or even physical damage has been done to OSS that causes him to do this.
Thankfully we have an appointment Thursday for OSS with a child psychiatrist. I just want to help him and stop him from hurting.
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Does he ever have accidents
Does he ever have accidents at school or just at home? There was a poster on here a while back with an SS about the same age who was doing the same thing. Funny thing was the kid NEVER had an accident at school, only at SM/Dad home.
Hopefully you can get him some help. The choking himself/wishing he would die display had to have been awful
He has accidents anywhere it
He has accidents anywhere it doesn't matter. He had one in a restaurant once, sitting at the table eating. DH noticed the smell took him to the bathroom and OSS said he didn't get up because he was busy eating. He will sit in it all day if no one knows he did it.
He can control and he chose
He can control and he chose not to go to the bathroom, but he was doing great and then mom got out of jail and it's went back to the way it was before she went in. We have tired being understanding, loving and caring. That didn't work at all. When he lost is video games before and couldn't play unless when went poop he started going almost daily.
So I don't know what to do for him anymore
BM calls almost everyday now
BM calls almost everyday now and is trying to come up with money to see the kids at the parenting time center where she is allowed supervised visits. This has been an ongoing issue even before we got custody of him. He had the same problem at BM's when they lived with her.
I have tried talking to him and letting him know I was here for him. I have told him he can tell him anything, that my job is to protect him and his siblings. He won't talk he keeps his feeling bottled up.
Also we did loving and
Also we did loving and understanding about a year ago when the first came to live us after being taken away from their mom by CPS.
Thank you
Thank you
I have been wondering if he
I have been wondering if he needed to be checked for damage inside.
Hopefully it is something
Hopefully it is something behavioral related and not a physical problem.
I have ulcerative colitis. A person can fluctuate between being constipated and a strong urgency to go like having the flu. There is a baseline of pain etc that a person has to deal with all the time (and makes some people hold it in when they shouldn't) but when it flares up, it can happen anywhere. I always know where the closest bathroom is!
Stress makes it worse and more likely to flare. I know that if I am having constipation issues, I don't take a laxative. All I have to do is think of something very stressful and that usually works. That's why I wondered when you mentioned he was trying for a long time, got in trouble and then was able to go.
Although, I would never EVER have an accident and just sit it in because I was too busy eating.
Hopefully, it is a behavioral issue that he will either grow out of or learn to handle things better. A lot of times, if a kid feels that their life is out of control, their elimination and eating patterns are the only things they can think of that they CAN control.
Take him to see the
Take him to see the pediatrician. Maybe it's emotional, maybe it's physical. Maybe it's both. SS did this too for a period. It turns out it was his diet. He would get "stopped up" at bm's because she would feed him garbage, and then when he wouldn't poop, she would load him up with Miralax and he would shit himself. It was hugely humiliating for him. It happened at school, at home, anywhere.
Finally dh insisted they see a specialist. Guess what? The doctor talked to both twat waffle and dh at the same time. They both described their homes, diets, routines for ss and any medications. Doctor told cuntcakes to stop giving ss Miralax! She needed to try to remedy this issue by giving him a better diet and carving out time for him to go everyday in a relaxed environment. If she continued to medicate him needlessly she was going to cause damage. Doctor said dh was doing everything right on his time. She was really pissed about that...
OSS must hand wash his
OSS must hand wash his underwear and clean himself up after having an accident. I refuse to wash his dirty undies with the other clothes.
It's called encopresis,
It's called encopresis, research it. My SS "leaked" until he was 14. The muscles in the lining of his intestines were stretched out so badly from being stuffed with feces, they were damaged. It was the most frustrating issue ever, with the help of his DR and heavy duty laxative and diet changes it got better.
I was going to say encopresis
I was going to say encopresis as well...it sounds like your SS may have a case of that- as they hold in their need to go to the washroom...can be a symptom of emotional issues(which unfortunately seems like your SS has.).
Really good to see a SM, that wants to see her SC succeed(I say this because I have a strained relationship with my SC...did want to see them succeed- now, I just dont care, I just dont want to be responsible for adult children).
God I hate even typing this
God I hate even typing this and may be waaay off the mark here but is there a chance he has ever been sexually assaulted? Please don't be offended. I'm only saying this because bowel issues with boys is one of the top manifestations of sexual abuse. I know this personally from past experience.
Trust me this question has
Trust me this question has crossed my mind and it scares the living hell out of me.