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3 weeks of radio silence... and now I get this.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 9:55pm

I read what you said about me on facebook, I am sorry you indured the worst 3 years of your life. I am really sorry for that, I should have left you alone, but please can we not be enemies?

Having a tough day today as it was. Have started my course work for uni - one of my first units is "conflict resolution" which I could have used studying a few bloody years ago. I have to own that I fucked up a LOT in reading just the beginnings of this subject LOL So, reading this, working on the activities for this week, doing some self reflection. Feeling a bit sad - wondering if I'd known better some of this stuff earlier if it would have made any difference, you know?

And then I get the above email. That's all it said. Arsehole. WHY today????

I wonder though - he had court yesterday on the assault thing. Never heard anything so I have no idea what happened.... Maybe he was adjourned and they want me there (which I will find out at some point) to give a clearer picture. And maybe he's been told by his solicitor to be nice to me in order for me to say good things about him.

Man I hate being this fucking cynical.

Comments

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 10:55pm

You got this email because he was in court today for assault, right? Different verse, same story. Stay strong.

Regarding the "if I knew then, what I know now ..." theory of self-torture, it doesn't work that way. You did the best that you knew how given the information you had at the time, including your own emotional maturity/history, etc. Lighten up on yourself. You are doing well in that you're out, you're showing your DD how to be strong and resilient. Good job.

I'd take you out for coffee IRL if you didn't live across the globe. Blum 3

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 11:00pm

Smile thanks ladies. This is why I came here!!! It was just a shock to get it in the first place you know? Seeing his name come up on an email makes the adrenalin pump a bit. And on top of the self reflection it got to me.

I did not reply, I WILL NOT reply....

And yeah, the cynic in me thinks its to do with court. Or now that he's been to court and is over his own adrenalin rush of anger towards me he's suddenly feeling lonely and realising that I'm really gone this time.

Meh, whatever dude!

We are not enemies, we are not friends, we are not lovers. WE are nothing.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 11:13pm

Absolutely. That had filtered in my brain somewhere - as well as "it's ENdured not INdured you dick!"

The email was more "pity party, woe is me" than a genuine self reflection, acknowledgement of anything or apology.

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 11:23pm

My bad. I thought that was your typo and didn't want to call it to notice. Snort.

Yup. Not an apology. Not an epiphany. Not a life-changing moment. More like indigestion from court rising up ...

Oh Margie's picture

Submitted by Oh Margie on Tue, 02/17/2015 - 11:28pm

Aww Hun I'm sorry Sad
You're working your way out from under his thumb and he's just intuitive enough to realize it. This is his hook, because you are a kind, genuine person he knows it's his only shot at pulling you back in. You are doing awesome....drop the rope, radio silence, whatever gets you through 20 minutes at a time.
I actually said to a friend of mine today that my ex is amazingly good at manipulation and knowing exactly what buttons to push and how to hurt me. And yet I think God every day that he's not quite intuitive enough to realize that the way to really really cause me pain would be to treat me with basic kindness and decency. Even after everything he's done to me I would likely be consumed with compassion and guilt in an instant.

You are so strong! Hang in there!

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Wed, 02/18/2015 - 2:26am

the way to really really cause me pain would be to treat me with basic kindness and decency

YES! Exactly - while he's being a dick - it's hurtful but easy to stay resolved and say fuck off. But when he's decent - that's when it hurts more.

But that message above - that's just a dick trying to reel me back in.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Wed, 02/18/2015 - 2:25am

HE is Sally!!! Someone showed him something apparently - we have 6 mutual friends and I reckon I can narrow it down to one of two of them. Can't come right out and ask, just ignoring it and thinking if they all have nothing better to do then IDGAF.

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Wed, 02/18/2015 - 2:41am

Don't care exactly who it was ... you've got a new life before you. Shake the dust off your shoes with all of them.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Wed, 02/18/2015 - 3:03am

LOL - its a bit harder than that - they have all been friends with both of us since high school - we're talking 30 years. I'm not prepared to write off 30+ year friends for this. I figure whoever it was will out themselves at some point.

But either way, no skin off my nose if he gets shown that I am happy, moving onwards and upwards etc.

tiny kitten's picture

Submitted by tiny kitten on Wed, 02/18/2015 - 7:20am

Ugh. What's really scary is that it sounds like something MY ex-boyfriend would write.

IslandGal's picture

Submitted by IslandGal on Wed, 02/18/2015 - 4:08pm

OMG Luchay!! That honestly sounds like something MY ex would write - I was married to him for 12 years and he had emotional manipulation down pat!

Stay strong for you!! What your DH did to you was unforgivable. His daughter is a child of pure evil and they deserve eachother.

If he had your back, supported you and showed his spawn that you were a united front, during your relationship, I'd sing a different tune - but no way buddy..!

Not this man! He was weak and completely useless to you.