Need honest opinions - who's responsible for car damage?
So need the opinions of the masses.....
First the background.
SD16 is sullen and doesn't speak to any one at our house. She mopes around the entire time she is here. DH tries to engage her in conversation and he gets one word answers, mumbled. She won't speak to me at all and avoids being in the same room. She sits with a scowl on her face most of the time. Twitter posts confirm that she is pissy. This has been going on and building for years. DH does very little to handle it and nothing to change it. Just this week BM was complaining to DH that she is the same at her house.
SD and BM insisted she needed a car as soon (or before) she gets her license. DH tries to interject and discuss how much ?, who would be responsible for what?, is SD going to get a job to help contribute? He is shut down immediately and his input is no longer needed beyond any money he is interested in contributing. Important to note that our idea was that we would match whatever money SD earned and saved toward a car. But since DH had an opinion BM went about doing her own thing and spouting about how he never wants to help and is cheap.
In the end BM bought a new car, gave SD her old one (which was given to BM by her parents anyways). Car is all in SD's name and she supposedly is responsible for insurance and gas. The money SD had saved was to be used to pay those things until she got a job. SD has made zero effort to find a job. We fill her tank occasionally.
On to this week's drama...........
BM's new car is really small and she travels for work. We had bad weather this week and apparently to avoid wrecking her own new car she drove sd's car and got in an accident. Estimate on repairs is more than the car is worth. BM is asking DH to help with the cost of either fixing the car or getting her another one. She is upset with DH because he feels that she should be responsible for replacing what she damaged. Are we wrong?
- PrincessFiona's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
BM drove the car and wrecked
BM drove the car and wrecked the car, she is the responsible party. No way in hell would I have DH pay out anything. BM and her insurance has to take the bill. SD had nothing to do with it.
^^This^^
^^This^^
Your DH needs to ask BM this
Your DH needs to ask BM this little scenario. If DH gave SD HIS old car and you or your DH or the dog or whoever drove that car and wrecked it, would BM be amenable to putting money towards a new car? I would bet the ranch that she would NOT.
you break it you buy it. Is there no insurance coverage if the car is totaled?
Did she fall out of her
Did she fall out of her tree??
You are not wrong. BM drove it, BM wrecked it, BM pays for it.
Unbelievable. Is your BM named Uberskank?
What a dumb bitch. Why do
What a dumb bitch. Why do these selfish BM's always try to pin every thing on their ex-husband's.
It's HER responsibility for smashing up the car. Tell her to go choke on a bag of dicks.
BM made the decision on her
BM made the decision on her own about the car in the first place, then she made the decision to drive SD's car in bad weather. So, BM can take care of it herself, without help from your DH, just like she did to begin with.
Not to mention that your SD is doing nothing about the job thing to pay for gas and insurance.
SD and BM can work it out amongst themselves.
My opinion exactly. Add to
My opinion exactly. Add to it the attude that SD has towards everyone, she not exactly deserving of special treatment.
Thanks Ladies ! I needed to
Thanks Ladies ! I needed to hear it from other people. I've tried to step back and find her perspective on this but I haven't yet found a scenario where I think she is in anyway other than 100% responsible for a car she borrowed.
exactly. SHE is responsible.
exactly. SHE is responsible. If she borrowed her neighbors car and wrecked, would she expect the neighbor to pay for the damage? It's no different in my opinion.
Yeah, let HER insurance
Yeah, let HER insurance company deal with it. Good God these selfish, entitled BM get my hackles up.
If your DH wrecked a car he got for the skid, she would undoubtedly tell him is was all his responsibility.
I agree that BM is 100%
I agree that BM is 100% responsible. (And she's got HUGE lady balls for even asking DH to help pay!)
On another note though, this struck me: "Estimate on repairs is more than the car is worth." I can tell you from experience that if that is true, you CAN'T just fix the car. You actually need a special registration for the car (a "salvage" registration) and most insurance companies WILL NOT insure a car with a salvage license. (My own insurance company filled me in on this when I was debating fixing my car and just paying the difference in what it was worth.) It is SO not worth it. Nope, BM will get a check for the value of the car and she can just use that to buy SD another car. At most your DH can have another discussion about matching anything SD cares to contribute towards another car, but he absolutely should NOT fix THIS car.
And she's got HUGE lady balls
And she's got HUGE lady balls for even asking DH to help pay!
No kidding. BM over here thinks my DH is a total dumbshit but she would still know better than to think he'd pay for this in any way.
My youngest stepson totaled 2
My youngest stepson totaled 2 cars last year. Then last week he got into another accident. Each and every time BM EXPECTS my DH to do something about it. I feel like after the first car they are on their own. I think he needs to pay for the next car so he will stop being such an entitled, hapless, panty waste.
Excuse me????? BM wrecked
Excuse me????? :jawdrop:
BM wrecked it, BM must pay for repairs. Period!!!!
Wow, it's like you know her !
Wow, it's like you know her ! Yes this is my read on BM and her attitude. She turned into such a bitch over this with such little prompting that I started to second guess the situation.
The truth is if SD made and effort with us and had a half way responsible conversation about it and how she planned on handling said responsibilities we are willing to help her. That's HER, not BM !
So far crickets from Sd on the subject.
She can demand. Doesn't mean
She can demand. Doesn't mean she will receive.