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I Don't Want Christmas

whatthesebootsaremadefor's picture

Submitted by whatthesebootsa... on Sun, 12/21/2014 - 9:04pm

I don't want to wrap the rest of these presents.

I just want to hide in a hole.

I don't want to drive a thousand miles and sleep in BM's house, and watch my SS open the presents his daddy bought for him before he died (and the one I bought for DS and labeled from daddy, because he never did pick out anything for him).

I want to tell these people who offer their "help" that thank you, but your hour on a Saturday morning is not enough for me to get anything done, since you'll want to sit and talk and I'll have to entertain you.

I don't want BM to hustle me off to the social security office in her town on Christmas eve because it's sooner than my appointment and it's holding up her claim.

I don't want my son's first Christmas to be dictated by and spent with family that both is and isn't.

I don't want BM to make this the first Christmas my SS doesn't have Santa. I don't know what she'll do, she was over it last year.

Fuck it, I'm bringing a flask. And extra presents.

Comments

whatthesebootsaremadefor's picture

Submitted by whatthesebootsa... on Sun, 12/21/2014 - 9:24pm

This is the last time I'll get to see SS for a while, other than when BM brings him down to get all his things from the house, and that'll be sad. Plus, I have this carload of gifts for him, from me, from DH, from DH's parents. I have to go. I want to go just so I can see him. I just don't want all this other crap.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sun, 12/21/2014 - 11:17pm

{{{{Hugs}}}}
Remember it is only your responsibility to take care of your DS & Yourself. Do what you can handle & don't be afraid to bail on the rest. People worth knowing will certainly understand.

No saint's picture

Submitted by No saint on Mon, 12/22/2014 - 4:49am

I would hide with you, and just stand by your side, quietly. Would listen if you wanted to speak and would hold you if you felt like it. Sorry I'm not closer.