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On the first day of Christmas my dh gave to me... *sung to the classic tune*

princessmofo's picture

A migraine headache with his Disney Dad parenting....

Ok Steptalkers, finish it up. We have 11 more complaints or festering wounds that can fill up the song. I could surely do it myself but why wallow in my own misery alone?

Dh can be a great husband for 11 months of the year but with Christmas approaching he kicks up his guilty daddddddy parenting and pity party for his special snowflake cod.

So bring on the eggnog and be sure there's plenty of whiskey in it for me...

Comments

princessmofo's picture

LMAO!!!

thinkthrice's picture

Swings into Holiday Medley:

We wish you a skid-free Christmas
We wish you a skid-free Christmas
We wish you a skid-free Christmas. . .
And a skid-free New Yeeaaaarrrrrrr!

princessmofo's picture

Thrice just gave me a jolt for a medley! How about...

O' Christmas tree
O' Christmas tree
Don't you dare decorate it
without DH's offspring

Deck the halls with whiny entitled step-brats
Fa la la la la, I need some booze.

MommyNotMommy's picture

Hahahaha

MommyNotMommy's picture

Jingle Bells:

DH's balls, DH's balls,
They're in BM's purse
Skids are here
Until New Year
Might just run away, HEY

princessmofo's picture

Awesome!! }:)

MommyNotMommy's picture

Lmao!

thinkthrice's picture

Hark brats are here
I'll hit the beer
All seem to say
There goes my day

Blackmail is here
Raising my fear
Skids will be bold
They'll all be cold

DH will smile
And walk a mile
For his off-spring
Who'll nothing bring

PASy PASy PASy Christ-mas
PASy PASy PASy Christ-mas

princessmofo's picture

You better watch out
You're gonna hear them cry
You better not disengage
I'm telling you why

BM and her spawn are coming to town

The cods are making a list
Even though they get Christmas twice
The naughtier they are
The more you better be nice

BM and her spawn are coming to town

DH is oblivious to their sneaking
From this spell he can't awake
You better keep some Jack Daniels handy
For your own sanity's sake

Oh you better watch out
Cause if you start to cry
It's cause you HATE DH's kids
And He's sure that's why Wink

Oh BM and her spawn are coming to town

thinkthrice's picture

Even though they get Christmas twice

Ain't it the TRUTH!!!

:sick:

MommyNotMommy's picture

MaGee the Redfaced Skid
Had a very whiny day
Fungus and Princess Pisspants
Wouldn't let him come and play

All of the other skids
Dropped out of school and failed
Daddy won't check their gra-ades
Mommy says it's a-OK

Then along comes Christmas Eve
And the skids say (Gimme gimme!)
Where's our presents piled so high?
Won't you take us out tonight?

Daddy, he caves as usual
Stepmom's buying extra drinks
Blended family at Christmas
It boils down to miiissserryy

Evil stepmonster's picture

Eggnog...lots and lots of eggnog!!!

And vodka!!

And maybe some jello shots.

thinkthrice's picture

Oh Ho-ly Niiight
It Lands on Vis-it-TA-tion
It is the night of my worst hell on earth. . .

Long is S-O with grins and expect-a-tion
Till brats appeared and my soul felt no mirth

CHORUS

Faaaalllll on your knees
Oh hear the skids loud voices
My teeeeeeeeth-- do grind
Oh night of sheer hor-ror!!!

weekendwidow's picture

Oh I so needed to laugh today! Thanks for the chuckles and for reminding me that I'm not alone.