A 1 year old doesn't understand the concept if money or equality.

See what happens when he is old enough to understand.

Didn't you write that your DH confronted his parents and told them to knock off the amount and expense of gift giving?

Now they started and you're still angry?

He's 1- why on earth would a baby need a card? The amount-meh, kids don't understand money amounts at that age-I agree, wait until baby is older to get annoyed...because I assure you it will happen-so save the justified anger till then. Your kids will never be as good as the golden SS from the first family. Put a stamp on that. Just the way it is-it sucks though.

SS is stb9. Wait to see if they cut down on his gifts at next birthday. If they listened to their son this birthday will be smaller.

It's not unusual in non step families for grandchild #1 to get large gifts that get smaller over time as the family enlarges. My first husband talked of how, in his family, grandchild gifts got smaller as the family grew. By the time we married and my oldest was born ( grandchild #25) grandma was retired and living on social security, and each grandchild got a card with a dollar inside.

I'm confused now. Are you saying that when SS got his first birthday gift he got the stuff your listed but now your son got less all these years later?

Or are you comparing the gifts DS just got for his birthday to the what SS got on his most recent one? If so how long ago was SS's last birthday?

Another thing- could it be that after the Holidays they are just spent? It's a reality for kids born around HOlidays. I'm not saying that they won't make differences, it's a sad reality to accept as the 2nd wife-that said....you're sounding quite entitled honestly.

My in-laws did the exact same things and I didn't say anything. My in laws are nuts about SD, the very rare times we visit, it's all about her. I get to listen to how smart/wonderful/beautiful she is, and they take her out for ice cream and shopping for presents without their other two grandkids. DS was 4 or 5 when he started noticing, and we finally made a stink, and there was a big blow up, because they're oblivious and think they're being fair. A year after the blow up, they ignored yds's birthday, bought SD more presents than ods on his birthday. Then proceeded to ask me if it was ok to buy SD a $200 game system ods also wanted, btw, for her birthday. Needless to say, I'm polite, because they raised my DH, but I don't go out of my way to encourage my kids to have a relationship with their crazy and toxic grandparents.

I get how you feel, it happens. I learned my lesson a long time ago- say anything your petty- so kill them with kindness. My fun thing i do with MIL after she buys ss new hoodies or pants, or whatever, i tell her how much he does NOT wear her outfits!! Lol i tell her how he told me he hates the way the hoodie feels, or the pants -that he picked out- now he hates the color or whatever.

Noone listens to me they buy this teen so many clothes, drop money on him, and he wears NON OF IT!!! Or he forgets it somewhere- so i tell her when she gets on my nerves.

I personally HATE with a white hot passion that a baby turning a year old gets hundreds if not thousands of dollars in presents. It is absurd. When my DH’s GS turned one I sent DH with a $35-40 gift. Of course I was not invited to the birthday party.

That child literally got about $3000+ worth of gifts. Our gift was onsidered to be modest and inconsequential even though picked out with consideration as to what he liked.

No child whether in an intact marriage or a cod should routinely get thousands of dollars of presents just because they exist.

I have five great nieces all under four. Two are around one. For their Christmas, i bought them each what i wanted them to have. The two middle girls received identical gifts as did the two one year olds. The oldest was given something different. With my nieces and nephews, i loved getting to the point of giving cash. Now that three are married, they get gift cards or family games. I spend what i like on each.

I guess what just irks me on all of this mess is that no one is entitled to any gift. Equal amounts or not. It is a gift. I was shirked as a child by one grandmother. I noticed the favoritism as did my parents. Their explanation made perfect sense. Yes, it was noticed but you have been blessed by those who love you. Don’t bother with petty issues of other people. It stuck with me. Even when i saw it going on with my children and their cousins on the father’s side. My children were more gracious and sweeter kids than their spoiled brat cousins. One of whom literally slapped their grandfather across the face for not starting her movie fast enough. Neither of my children would have EVER behaved in such a horrid manner. And the difference was noted. I never mentioned a thing to the grandparents but i used it to teach my children a valuable lesson about character. Stuff is just that. Stupid stuff that will be broken or lost or not valued. Being a kind and loving person is the most important thing. My kids often laugh about it all now.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that using this as your child grows up to teach him about good character and what is TRULY important in life is really more valuable than any chunk of plastic that will end up in a yard sale or the trash eventually. My kids often tell me how rotten family visits go with the spoiled stinks. Temper tantrums and fights still happen with them and are just louder now that they are young teens. LMAO.

Don’t allow it to upset you. Hugs!!!

Try to be gracious and send them a thank you regardless of how unfair it feels. Grace does take courage. I know because I have been there.

JMO

Meh. When my first born turned one, I was broke AF. His gifts? A bunch of groceries, wrapped up. We took pictures of the gifts before they were "unwrapped". Looks like a bunch of gifts... but really, a box of cereal, some peanut butter, bread, box of crackers, juice... lol

My grandmother also made him a mobile for his room - it was knitted stars and a moon... it was made with scrap yarn she had... it was cherished for years.

I had more money but not much when my 2nd was born... so she got a little more "stuff"... but it was still "stuff" for me, not so much for her. Like diapers, onesies, new clothes, etc... but she didn't get the same type of mobile, and I was disappointed.

Thing is... the only reason I was disappointed, is that the expectations *I* had were not met. She was under no obligation to make my dd a mobile, we hadn't discussed it in any way. I was 21, and I got snippy with my grandmother about it. I tried to make her feel bad. She put me in my place... and I never forgot it.

Nobody is required to give your child a single thing... and when they ARE generous enough to gift your child with something, they are not required to give the same as they gave someone else. It's ok to feel slighted when you feel you're being slighted... except you aren't the one who it happened to. I would let it go.