I'm jealous of my friends that have no BM to deal with.
I just spotted yet another announcement of a friend expecting a baby on Facebook. and right after that, another friend talking about how she was excited to be picking up her wedding dress.
It upsets me ..as when we first found out I was pregnant, *I* wanted to shout from the rooftops about DD12months arriving soon.
*I* wanted to shout about DH and I getting engaged the year before she arrived.
*I* wanted to post regular updates on wedding plans, baby scans, aaall of that. I wanted to share my/our excitement with everyone on the planet.
But we kept *both* things quiet for as long as possible, so BM wouldn't cause any drama and upset us, or ruin things.
It kills me that I can't live life normally like my friends do, they don't have a crazy BM to deal with.
I'm just sad today 
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I feel you. When I got
I feel you. When I got pregnant w/ Dd 10mo's I was super stressed because I didn't know how Bm would react and what crazy she was going to stir up but I eventually just said Eff it and was happy as can be.
It's so hard though talking with people who just have their spouse and their kids and that's all. Yeah yeah, I knew what I was getting into but you don't realize how hard it is until you live it. I'm giving you virtual hugs right now becuase I totally understand. You be happy though and enjoy that babygirl of yours. Eff Bm and what she thinks.
Just curious, but have you
Just curious, but have you tried taking back your life? Even if there is some fall out for a time.
I mean, BM will get mad, but so what? You didn't marry her. You didn't have children with her.
And you don't have to put up with her directly impacting your life. Minimize her. Cut her out and off. It can be done. Yes, it does take effort, but in the long run, so very worth it.
For me personally, I couldn't let a stranger dictate my life, and I wouldn't, so I didn't.
DH got on board once he saw that I wasn't playing. I was consistent in my behaviors, and
never wavered. We all make choices, why would you choose to let her run your life?
"why would you choose to let
"why would you choose to let her run your life" ..because she has the ability to *ruin* my life, and make my life miserable through what she says to SS, to other mutual friends, etc etc!!!
I have absolutley no contact with BM at all. It's SS4.5 talking all the time that causes trouble. She comes back to DH and says "Sunny said (fill in blank) and I'm pissed about it" ..even if I never even said that. SS is FOUR. he comes out with crap that didn't even happen.
I don't feel I can speak freely in my own home, with my own husband. It will *all* be repeated in the wrong way to BM.
please, I'm asking in all honesty, if you have figured out a way to live your life without BM ruining it, let me know your secret!!! really! I *want* to take back my life, but even after 4yrs I don't know how
BM, DH and I have so many
BM, DH and I have so many mutual friends, things would filter through from people talking, even if I block
Block her from social
Block her from social media.
Take back your life.
I dont deal with a high conflict BM, so sorry if I am off base.
But my thought is- would I rather hide everything to appease BM and have to deal with that or do what I want and deal with the possible backlash?
Seriously when it comes to major life events- baby, engagement, marriage, house, etc I would not do something that I would normally do just because of BM. I mean what can she do? Stop you from having a kid? Stop you from getting married? Stop you from buying a house?
I appreciate your thoughts
I appreciate your thoughts thankyou x but as I said to Tausha, there is no point blocking her as.. her, DH and I have so many mutual friends, things would filter through from people talking, even if I block.
It's not so much hiding everything to *appease* BM, it's hiding everything so as not to cause more drama in our lives. The backlash would be very stressful, so we choose to stay quiet.
No she can't stop us from doing things like having a baby or buying a house, but she sure as f**k can make it hellish for us in the process if she knew about it.