So less than 12 hours after leaving the courthouse from the custody hearing with exH my BDstb15 texts me and says "we have a problem, mom I'm really worried". So I ask what's going on. Now since the beginning of the school year my YBD and my exH gf's MBD have been attending the same school, and are in the same grade. This is a new school for gf's BD no Jr. High is a tough age. Along with the fact that my BD12 doesn't like her at all, and that exH has been trying to force BD12 to show her around, introduce her to her friends, involve the other girl in the activities that our daughter does. Things have NOT been going well to put it mildly. This other girl has lied repeatedly and both my daughters have caught her and presented the evidence to their father, because usually they are either both or YBD is blamed for things this girl is doing.

Now my SS12 is involved and supposedly told the gf's daughter my daughter was saying things about her and her younger sister. Now, she may have been, however I'm not sure why my SS would betray my daughter'so cinfidence...they have always been quite close. Anyway, this among other things have caused discord between BD and exH and of course exH's gf. I have talked to my daughter repeatedly about not needing to be a mean girl (she denies vehemently that she tries to get other kids to not like gf's daughter), about that she doesn't have to like dad's gf but she needs to be respectful because she is an adult and an adult that has a part of the life BD shares with exH, and that at least being polite and cordial would make a lot of tension with gf's daughter dissipate. Although it seems that gf's daughter just keeps on continuing to try to cause waves with BD12. Her most recent is that my BD12 makes life miserable at school and then she can't even get away from it and come home because BD12 makes life miserable for her at home too (my daughter is there every Wednesday and EOWE...and proves more WHY EOW would not have been good and that gf can't possibly really want BD12 there other than to reduce exH's CS). The issue is that exH continuously takes gf's side and gf's daughter's side. He does NOT stand up for BD12 nor BDstb15 even when handed evidence of their innocence and gf's daughter's lying. ExH is pulling his usual routine (one I know well) of completely ignoring BD, not speaking to her, not looking at her, not even answering her when she speaks to him. He called her an asshole and some other not nice things. This has been going on for about three months. Well, BDstb15 went to talk to BD12 and as BD12 is sobbing. She says she's done with all this. She wants to die. This got my OBD very concerned and upset as we have had close friends who have had young teenage children commit suicide. It's a terrible thing.

So I immediately call exH. He won't answer. I text. No answer. OBD continues to text, very concerned mom I'm scared mom what do I do, etc. so I tell BDstb15 to tell your dad to call me. She does, he ignores her. So I tell her to tell her dad it's very important so mom is going to come over. His response, I don't need your mother to tell me how to parent. I have NO intention of telling him how to parent, however if our 12 yr old daughter says those words, I am not taking them lightly. I could never live with myself if my daughter reached out to me about her sister and I didn't take it seriously and do something about it. I go there. After five more calls, BD12 answers the door. I walk in and ask him if we could all please sit down and talk. Gf wasn't home. We discussed things. I discussed things with daughters he sat there with his arms crossed not saying a word other than to say, "she's a snot, she's trying to cause problems, gf's daughter has a hard time, they had a harder life than our kids, etc etc". Gf comes home. I apologize to her that I a, there, especially when she wasn't home but something quite serious had occurred.

After another 30-45 mins of all of us talking, she only defends her daughter (I get that but still...) while I say I know my daughter isn't perfect and not completely innocent here, and I understand your daughter is probably having a hard time with a new school at Jr. High age, but I think you need to also accept that she is possibly dramatizing and exaggerating things or not portraying it accurately as well" of course she's a mom who thinks her kids do no wrong, doesn't say no to them and will always bow down to them.

I gave my daughters a hug and kiss told them I loved them and would see them Monday after school. Thanked both exH and gf for having this talk and I hope things go better over the weekend. And I have done nothing but worry and wonder since Friday night. Sigh. One time I happen to hope for Monday to come around.