I was going through DHs old phone looking for some recordings he said he had of MIL with SD. He only mentions them whenever something flares up between him and MIL so I was curious. I remember him telling me it was pretty bad when SD was starting school when he still lived over there but, I don't think I was prepared to hear what I heard.
There are about 10 recordings of MIL screaming, screeching, crying, at SD and even hitting her sometimes. I swear I've only heard people sound like that on tv and in movies. It.is.fucking.scary. I'm not kidding or making it up or exaggerating when I say she sounded like the devil.
I remember DH would say it would immediately start when MIL would wake up SD. MIL screaming at the top of her lungs to wake her up, dress her, brush her teeth, do her hair, and make her eat. And SD taking her time, giving her a hard time by refusing to do what was being asked of her, and talking back. And it wouldn't stop until they were out the door to take her to school.
I seriously don't know how anyone can be there listening to someone screech and scream at their kid though. Especially calling them names, telling them there's something very wrong with them, they're the worst kid in the world, she's going to dunk their head in the cereal bowl, hurry up and eat or they're going to make her do something crazy, etc. (these are not exaggerations, translated fairly well though).
Funny, no, hilarious, how MIL loves to tell everyone that we treat SD bad and that DH was wrong to take SD away from her (to live with him once he moved out). She's said that we don't know how to handle her and she's the only one who can make SD calm down when she throws tantrums.
It is HILARIOUS. Yet...WE don't ever scream at her. WE don't slam her down on a chair. WE don't spank her, and for the most part, she listens to US (she's gotten a lot better as I've disengaged an awful lot). SD doesn't even have tantrums here! When she does act up a bit she gets a timeout and then a talking to. We make sure everyone understands what the rules and punishments are there for.
Oh, and WE don't try to buy her love or bribe her.
I'm slowly but surely building my relationship with SD7. I'm glad that every little thing she says or does doesn't get on my nerves anymore. I guess DH was right, and a lot of you as well, it does take time. She's in a better environment, she's with people who want whats best for her and encourage her to always do her best, not just when it's convenient. I've noticed we've all passed on weird little quirks to each other. It's funny and a reminder to me that we're all in it together now, no matter what.
MIL can do or say whatever she wants, SD isn't stupid. She's innocent and that's different.
Not looking forward to this weekend without my monkey though (BS). And apparently DH is letting monster pick up SD, so...guess this weekend is gonna be pretty lonely.