DD10months usually wakes up quite early. During the week, DH gets up for work early anyway, so he gets up with her. I have an extra quiet 10 minutes in bed, then follow them downstairs to take over so DH can go to work.

At the weekends (when SS4 is here), I let DH sleep a little longer, I get up with DD to tiptoe past SS4's room, and hope she doesn't start any baby gurgling while we walk past which would wake SS up.

I get her downstairs and we start our day. Clean diaper, milk, play with toys etc. All knowing that SS is still asleep and I don't have to deal with him.

(by deal with him, I mean him saying things like "will you read me a story, will you play this game with me, what do gorillas sound like? how big is an alligator?" etc etc just regular kid stuff which I *do* answer during day with no problems, but I *cannot* be bothered with SS's constant talking first thing in the morning, I'm not a morning person lol!)

Sometimes if he *has* heard us and he comes downstairs, I give him breakfast and talk to him for about a half hour (in order to let DH rest) before I go wake DH to talk to SS, because *I* sure as heck don't wana talk to him anymore than that, he bugs the crap out of me recently.

Anyway this is our usual routine and I've been thinking recently how ridiculous it is tiptoeing round my own home, when this kid isn't actually doing anything wrong, he's just being a kid, I just don't have the patience. It's kind of all in my head I think. sigh.

Anyway, this morning was hilarious. I really, really really didn't want SS to wake up early today. I didn't want to deal with him *even more* than usual.

I was out back with DD, when I heard a noise coming from SS's bedroom window. I was carrying DD and quite literally *leapt* behind a wall to hide, as if SS looked out the window and saw me and DD, he would come downstairs!

The look on DD's face was priceless, it was a confused look, like she was thinking "um, mom, why did we suddenly leap half way across the yard behind this wall, and why are you 'shushing' me?!!" Lololol

Ok wow I wrote that out to share as a funny story, but now I feel really bad about it! I know I can't keep this up for long, it might make DD realise what I'm doing and start to want to avoid her big brother too, I really don't want that to happen, I want them to have a good relationship as siblings :/ 

Whyyy can't I just *like* being around this kid?!! He's a good kid, DH is by no means a Disney dad, and as a result, SS is well behaved, polite, sweet and loving to DH, DD and even me! 

I used to genuinely *love* being around him! It's ever since he started talking in proper sentences that he just annoys me with everything that he says. 

He talks. A. Lot. It's not like he reports back to BM on purpose or anything, he just talks about stuff, and, being a regular 4 year old, he gets stuff wrong and misinterprets things, which has caused problems with BM saying to DH "SS said Sunny said (whatever it is he said that I didn't actually say)" ..here's my blog about it in case you wana see http://www.steptalk.org/node/182755

Anyway like I said in that post, it makes me feel like I'm living in a goldfish bowl that BM can look into whenever she wants, just by talking to SS. Like I said, he talks. A. Lot. We even hear about when BM's sunglasses broke and she had to throw them in the trash. Or that some guy honked his horn at BM while driving and BM was sad about it. 

So all the little details of *our* lives will definately be related to BM. I just don't like the goldfish bowl I'm living in now, and it makes me sad when I went back to find that blog to link here that it's been going on for 5/6 months and I still don't feel any better about it, and also extra sad that I'm still finding SS so annoying, I really hoped it would pass by now

But as sad as I'm finding my situation is, I *am* still finding me leaping around the yard at 6am this morning quite amusing lol