Not step related, but domestic violence: WWYD?
DH works with many douchebags, but one dude is the King Douche.
Apparently King Douche told all of the guys at work that he pushed his live in girlfriend down the stairs in an argument the other night.
Apparently this is not the first time he's gotten physical with her and "bragged" about it. He's hit her, thrown her across the room (she's a tiny little thing), etc.
I guess she's no shrinking violet and has hit him back a time or two.
I feel uncomfortable having this knowledge and not doing anything with it, but I have no idea what I should/could do.
She and I have met a few times, but I do not know her well nor do I have her phone number or even last name. I have no idea if she even realizes what a volatile situation she's in, because apparently King Douche is a lot less douchy when alcohol isn't a factor.
What would you do?
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That's kind of what I was
That's kind of what I was leaning toward. I need to do a little sleuthing to see if I can figure out the address.
This guy makes me feel kind of stabby. If only I had that invisibility cloak....
I'm not sure I CAN leave it
I'm not sure I CAN leave it alone, TBH. It seems that this guy is escalating, and no amount of shaming by the other guys seems to get through King Douche's head. All of the men are appalled by him and have told him so. DH and several other guys have stopped socializing with King Douche completely.
I'm an action taker. Always have been. I guess some people would call it "sticking my nose into someone else's business" but so be it. If he actually does seriously hurt/kill her and I hadn't at least made an anonymous phone call I don't think I could live with myself.
Dead wrong on this. Aswang,
Dead wrong on this. Aswang, you are an intelligent poster, but for Pete's Sake. "Lay low, don't rock the boat, it will get worse for her if you say anything." Criminey. Enable the Abuser and enable the victim why don't you ?
Maybe I read your response incorrectly. Or, maybe I think like a court-reporter. Any whiff of violence or abuse, you report. Let the officials sort it out. Sometimes the officials get it right and many times they error. I would not want this woman's life on my ... "shoulda, coulda, woulda, but didn't want trouble" hands.
I wish I had an answer for
I wish I had an answer for you.
Even if you see her soon for some reason, that would be a weird conversation to have, considering you don't really know each other. She could just get pissed off, like some abused women do when offered help.
It could really come back to bite you and your DH in the ass.
I wish women wouldn't put up with this shit. My youngest sister's ex BF was/is very abusive. He threw her down the stairs when she was pregnant and he has done quite a bit of jail time on numerous domestic violence charges (on other women) since she left him. I know because I look him up every now and then. Since he has threatened to kill me in the past, I like to know where he is (I am always relieved when he's in jail). He is meaner than a snake and has always hated me because I was there for my sister.
The health and welfare check would be a start. I don't know after that. I guess it depends on how involved you want to get.
What does your DH think about this?
I agree. It sucks but there
I agree. It sucks but there just is not much anybody can do unless the victim wants help.
I begged and pleaded with my sister when she was with her asshole ex. I offered her every resource I had; money, a place to stay, even tried to bribe her with buying her a car if she left the MF. Nope, at the time, she wouldn't do it.
Please really think about
Please really think about this. Meditate on it, pray about it, whatever it is you believe but please be careful. I know it's the extreme, but in the past, my sister's ex told people he was going to kill me; he stalked me, he broke down my door (and bragged about it), and I once caught him pacing in front of my apartment with a gun in his jacket. All because I got in his way.
The gun was for me, but because of certain circumstances, he did not get his chance to kill me.
Braggers can sometimes be cowards but they can also be dangerous.
Thank you. I really
Thank you. I really appreciate your input on this, as a family member of someone who has been in that situation. The whole thing is weighing heavily on me. Silly, I know, since I don't really know her.
I get it. No woman wants to
I get it. No woman wants to see another woman in this situation, no matter how well you know or don't know her.
But you don't know either of them well enough to know what kind of domino effect any action you take could cause. It's a volatile situation.
I would feel the same way as you and would be thinking and thinking about what action to take. I hope something comes of all that thinking that will not put you or her in harms way.
My experience with death
My experience with death threats and the police department: "Sorry, Maam, until he actually does physical harm to you, there is nothing we can do." And they KNEW this guy and his violent history.