Follow up to pasta.
So, SD8 again brought home work that she didn't finish in class or in aftercare. DW told her to go to dining table to complete it.
SD8 starts yelling and whining that "It's not faaaaaiiir." "Why do I have to do it NOW?"
DW lost it. She told SD8 in no uncertain terms that we are not going to do this again this year. We are not having a repeat of this behavior. She will do her homework when she gets home from school, without complaint, or she will be grounded. Period. DW was PISSED.
I was happy to see/hear her actually finally taking a stance on this stuff. For what it is worth, SD8 shut up and did her homework. (Half-assedly again).
DW looks at it later, see bad handwriting and a couple of missed questions. Didn't have SD8 redo it. Instead she talked to me about it and decided SD now is old enough that DW should not have to constantly harp on her about this stuff. So, SD8 will have to suffer the consequences of her lack of hard work. That means she's going to lose a lot of privileges when she gets bad grades, and ultimately if she gets held back or has to go to summer school - well, she will have to deal with it.
I think it is driving DW nuts because SD8 is a smart kid, when she takes her time. The problem is she just doesn't care because it is not fun and not what SHE wants to be doing, so she rushes through it.
Also, DW said to me last night... "I know it has only been 4 days, but at least we haven't heard from SD8's teacher yet about behavior issues."
I just had to laugh. And I thought "Give it time."
- Rhinodad's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Your stories have me
Your stories have me laughing! Literally I spat out my drink last night at "pasta eater". My son had a similar task this week (2nd grade) and wrote "animal trainer". Under what that job is he wrote "train animals".
BS7 hates writing and reading. Is awesome at math. It is a constant battle. Plus ex told him he is stupid and should repeat grade 1. He is not, and had A's and B's last year, with obvious improvement.
If you figure out a motivational technique, let me know!
I'm glad my life is a joke to
I'm glad my life is a joke to you.... haha, just kidding.
SD8 only likes two things: video games and comic books (thanks to her father). She will read, but only if we read to her first, end even then cannot finish a book without switching to a new one before she's finished 2 chapters.
She hates school because it "is not fun" and they "make you work."
My SD13 starts 8th grade next
My SD13 starts 8th grade next week. I have busted my ass the past year and a half that she and her sister have been with me full-time. No one else cared enough to look online at grades, etc. except for me. I'm not helping to remind or tutor this year. Do it yourself.
Good for DW to let SD make her own bed and pay the price. I have a feeling my Sd's iPod Touch will be gone by week #2.
Confiscated by DH and I. }:)
~ Moon
Yeah. We will still help SD8
Yeah. We will still help SD8 if she genuinely has a hard time with something. But when it is clear that she just doesn't want to do it, well that is another story.
Part of this is related to the fact that BioDad refuses to believe that there is any problem with SD8 slacking off. He says it's always the teachers. For three years and 4 different teachers. I think DW figures if he actually sees SD not giving a rat's ass about this stuff, well, maybe he'll get the point. I doubt it, but maybe.
A lot has changed this year.
A lot has changed this year. DW, I think, has finally realized that SD8 has gotten away with a lot and is really taking after her loser father. DW wants to end that now and has been much harder on her.
In fact, SD8 lied to my face this morning about something... DW caught her. SD is now grounded for the weekend. I actually have to say that I'm seeing a change in DW's parenting towards SD8. Finally.
I don't believe I mentioned
I don't believe I mentioned DW disengaging from her own kid, did I?
Instead, DW will assist if SD needs it, but will not harp on her to finish things and do them correctly. We've gone through that for two years in a row.
Now SD will be required to have actual CONSEQUENCES for not doing the homework - such as loss of TV time, loss of playtime on weekends, etc. At her age she needs to discover that her choices have consequences.
I guess we will have to agree
I guess we will have to agree to disagree then.
On a related note, why do
On a related note, why do kids not have consequences at school anymore? Why are there no detentions? I don't even think kids get written up and have things put in their files anymore.
This is exactly what we've
This is exactly what we've done. She knows the expectations that we have for her... she just doesn't care.
The problem is we have expectations at our house, but her BioDad doesn't care. He is a moron who keeps getting fired, barely passed high school, and really lacks motivation... and his daughter sees that and emulates it. It's much easier there than here because we don't let her coast through life.
I don't think there's
I don't think there's anything wrong with what you and DW are doing here. You've obviously tried to help coach her for two years without success, so it only makes sense to try another method. Maybe she is the kind of person who needs to "learn things the hard way" so to speak. Life is not going to caudle her, and the sooner she learns that the better.
I agree. But as you said, the
I agree. But as you said, the schools will NEVER hold kids back. Because it looks bad on the school.
In fact, I suspect that if SD does poorly on the 3rd grade standardized testing this year, they will ask her to leave the school (nicely or otherwise), since it is a Charter school.
I wouldn't care except this will affect BS3, because if she's not in the school he isn't guaranteed admission. Not only that, but the teachers will know his sister and he'll get prematurely judged because of that.