Quick Background..... exh is believed to be NPD by DD12 therapist
He works out of town frequently
he has spent lat 2 years paying little attention to DD's (according to them and what they have told therapist)
DD15 is my biodaughter not exh, but he has raised her since she was 2.5 yrs old, but she is not part of our legal custody agreement and I retain full custody

So most recently I found out I am losing my job since my facility is closing this means I will no longer work in town A where exh lives and our kids go to school. This pretty much ruins the possibility of continuing the 50/50 arrangement we had.

Sat down with exh last night and went over options.....sounds like best option since I live in townB and will get job in town D that exh wants to move to town C, so on my way to work I could take them to schoon in town C on my way to town D.

DD12 was totally ok with Switching schools when it is time.
DD15 does not want to go to town C schools, it is a much much bigger school and she doesnt want to move in the middle of a school year (would have to wait for her dad to move). She told me last night that she was afraid to tell her dad (remember not biofather no legal connection) that she wants to live with me. She wants to move now and start at my school district in town B.

Here is the problem...... My gut tells me that I should move her that it is the right choice for her. My DD12 therapist told me I need to start listening to my gut, I need to drop my expectations of ex ever being a good and present father (he doesnt know she has told me this). But I too feel bad for him, but is this just another one of his NPD manipulations on me? And is DD15 old enough to make this decision.....I believe so as she is very mature for her age always has been, or is it just me rationalizing that I want "my" daughter back with me full time and am I taking advantage of that?

Please help!!