SD15 has a boyfriend!
Sd15 has a boyfriend. He is her first boyfriend, ever, and her first kiss ever! He's 18, but I like him!
The reason I like him? Because when SD15 told him she liked him, he said "You are only 15 and we can't date!" After that, SD15 kept talking to him, so I told her that if she is going to spend this much time "talking" (on Facebook) to him, I want to get to know him, to.
That night, he friended me on Facebook, and we chatted for two hours. He told me about his job (fast food joint, trying to get on at a grocery market, making $2.50 extra an hour), his schooling (he is a senior in high school, but goes to a specialized school where he is learning robotics), and his family (lives with his grandmother next store to his dad's house. We also talked A LOT about SD.
The next day, Boyfriend told SD that if she got her parents' permission to date him, he would like to date her, but we had to know his age, and he had to know we were okay with it. I talked to SD about it for a while, and told her the only way she'd get permission to date him is if Husband and I met him first.
On Saturday, Hubby and I took SD15 and SD12 to this boy's house. We picked him up and the five of us went to the pool. Then, we got pizza, and drove around for a while. We stopped by a car lot, and looked at cars we'd want if we won the lottery! It was a really good time.
When Boyfriend got into the car, he handed SD a box. Inside the box was a necklace with a charm he had made out of quartz, a worry rock with a cute saying on it, and a picture he had drawn. Just small little trinkets, but it was SO cute!
The original plan was for my family to pick up Boyfriend on Sunday at his work, and for the five of us to go out then. Well, wires got crossed and when we dropped Boyfriend off, he said "See you tomorrow!". So, Sunday, we ate out at Boyfriend's job and headed out for the day after he got off work.
Sunday, we went mall walking, and then got ice cream at a fast food joint. We didn't know what to do next, so the five of us headed to my mom's house so SD15 could introduce him around a little more.
Then, Hubby dropped myself and SD12 off at home, and he and Sd15 drove Boyfriend home. Boyfriend had told his grandmother he'd be home by 9, but when they got there, he didn't want to get out of the car. He finally gave SD15 a kiss on the lips (a quick peck!) before he went inside.
On Saturday, he held her hand, under the water, because he was shy. LOL On Sunday, he kept his arm around her shoulders in the car, and held her hand while we walked around. It was very very cute!
SD15 talks to me, and I have read some of their Facebook conversations. Boyfriend is VERY clear that he's not ready to french kiss SD, or make out. However, he wants to spend more time with her, and is excited to be included into family things. 
Since we got home last night, SD12 has friended him on Facebook. She thinks he's very cute, to, and I'm starting to worry that she's developing a crush on him. She was very mean tonight and told SD15, "Once he gets to know you, he'll probably break up with you. because you talk too much!" 
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Apparently boyfriend wants to
Apparently boyfriend wants to hang out with a fifteen year old, and her family.
The two of them have yet to spend any time alone (they walked behind us at the mall - we encouraged them to go off, and they DID go into one store without us, but they were right back to us within minutes!), and their next "date" is planned for Friday, when SD15 and Boyfriend will plan the day riding along in Hubby's work truck watching movies on SD15's portable DVD player.
After that, I have asked him if he wants to go out to eat with us for my birthday lunch. Fallowing lunch, Sd15, SD12 and Boyfriend will go watch a movie together, while Hubby and I go to the tattoo shop.
Hubby was the same age as Boyfriend, and I was younger then SD15, when we met, and started dating. We were only allowed to hang out at my mom's kitchen table with an adult present, instead of going out on dates. I imagine he wanted to date me for the same reasons Boyfriend wants to date SD15.
I approve of it because I approve of Boyfriend, and not his age. If he had said "Yes, I'll be your boyfriend" without ever addressing the age difference, or if he had refused to meet us, or made plans with SD15 without including us, it would of been different. If he had snuck off to make out with her, it would of been different.
In the church that we used to attend, yes, their age difference would be okay. However women wearing pants, makeup and jewelry wasn't. We don't attend church right now, though.
I think it sounds OK and you
I think it sounds OK and you are taking all the necessary precautions. He sounds like a respectful boy. Some boys are less mature for their age, and some girls are more mature. I had hardly any patience for the guys my age in high school, which my parents didn't love, but I wasn't doing anything "bad". I've always dated older, and most of my friends were (and still are) quite a few years older than me. My FDH is 20 years older! I didn't seek out the age gap, haha, you can't help who you love. When I was a sophomore I dated a senior who was similar....my parents were concerned at first but got to know him and his family and realized what a wonderful person he was. We broke up two years later but are still friends, and he still calls my parents "mom and dad" half joking.
It sounds like the two of them are being open and responsible, just make sure she is not sexually active because he could get into MAJOR trouble (it doesn't sound like that is a concern right now). I say best of luck! He sounds more respectful than 99% of all high school age boys out there right now!
^^Not sure what church has to do at all with her post.....
Thank you! I, to, only dated
Thank you!
I, to, only dated older when I was this age.
I love that they are being so open and responsible! AND he knows he could get in a lot of trouble, and is really afraid of it! LOL
Again, thank you
Hubby and I have been dating
Hubby and I have been dating for more then ten years, and married for six next month. We're older, and our marriage won't last as long as your friends (unless we live into our 90s), but I believe we're soulmates - even when he gets on my nerves!
Just, SD15 has been hyper
Just, SD15 has been hyper sexualized in the past, and that's one really BIG and really GOOD reason why Hubby and I are so verry involved in all of this! (SD12 has never been over sexualized, and is pretty tame as far as the boys go! Thank God!) It's also one reason I really like this boy! He's not so interested in sex at all.
Before I had ever talked to this boy, I checked him out. I found out where he worked and since it happens to be my favorite fast food joint, I went there for lunch. Stalker much? Probably, but I had to check the boy out.
Then, I discussed it with SD's therapist. She's been helping us work through the whole hairbrush fiasco. Truth is, Sd15 was molested before she was 5. She was starting to have flash backs when all of that started.. Plus she had been put on some new meds.
I think a lot of it is SD finding out what is acceptable to share, but I see some of the big changes in her (she is doing SO MUCH BETTER) are that she is off the speed, and meds that lowered her inhibition.
We will take it one day at a time. SD and this boy can only do damage to themselves, though, because I put SD on depo. I am still watching CLOSELY to try to stop her from doing any damage to herself, but I can't control everything. I'd rather her be as honest as possible with me, then for her to sneak around to see any boy.
What a lovely young man!
What a lovely young man! That's so very sweet!
thank you, Mamafox!
thank you, Mamafox!
I don't see any issues with
I don't see any issues with the age based on what you have said. If he jumped at the chance to go out with her and was avoiding you guys it would be different. He seems like a very nice young man and this may have a positive affect on her.
Thanks, Flying! That is
Thanks, Flying! That is exactly what I think, " If he jumped at the chance to go out with her and was avoiding you guys it would be different."
SD15 is at the age when teens start dating.
It's scary, but you have to let go of the apron strings at some point!
Beaccountable, I'm sorry that
Beaccountable, I'm sorry that the idea of this offends you so much. It's really not an easy decision to make, but then again, so many decisions about parenting aren't easy.
I was going to answer your post point by point (like a normally do) but the fact is, we aren't going to feel the same about this decision. Truth is, I am doing what I think is best for a child I know and love, and a child who is in my care. You are doing what you think is best (giving me your honest opinion) and trying to stand up for a child in a situation you feel strongly about.
I honestly respect your opinion, and I think it shows your true character that you would try to stand up for a stranger's child! Even if we don't agree on this, I wish there were more people in the world like you!
If there were, there would be a lot less hurt and damaged children in the world!
About me being a crew : I was here when all of that went down! LOL I was hear before Praying left, when someone screwed with FormerAA, by contacting the BM in her situation, and when HoustonTx was here. I deleted my old account when Hubby and I went to court to get custody of SDs, because someone said something about being worried that my posts on here might show up at court. After what happened to Former, I had a panic attack and deleted all of my stuff.
I'm not a crew, and the only way I can prove it is to tell you that my life is a LOT stranger than fiction! LOL