Update on feeling undermined

So I posted ydy about BM being allowed unsupervised time with SS6. How she is supposed to pick him up from school today but now cant bcos she has a funeral to go to. She has got in touch with the inlaws (hubbys mum and dad)to ask them to pick him up and take him to her house later on when she is back from the wake.
I have gone ape over this bcos in my opinion if she cant do what is in the court order its HER responsibility to find an alternative arrangement from HER family when its HER time. Who the hell does she think she is and who the hell do hubbys parents think they are to make this arrangement behind our back without even consulting hubby?
If all she needs to do is make a phone call to her ex inlaws to change the court order then what the hell did we just pay £0000s to get it for???!!! Mite as well rip the damn thing up! Hubby obviously is more than happy to go along with whatever mummy dearest wants bcos she is the alpha female in his mind. Tell you what then DH why dont you get mummy dearest to pay half the mortgage, bills, court costs!!! then she can have an opinion.
What p****s me off the most is I emailed our solicitor to see what she thought and shes backing up hubby and inlaws!! a funeral is a 'genuine emergency' and if we can help out it would look good before the judge. bleughhhh I'm so sick of the stupid bitch getting everything she wants, everyone accomodating her while I'm just the mug that works 24/7 and brings up her kid!
I wouldnt mind but my grandad died in Feb and I didnt even get so much as a sympathy card from inlaws.

tryingtobecalm's blog
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No I wouldnt have had an

No I wouldnt have had an issue at all, we all have things that come up from time to time but it is not hubby or his familys responsibility to help her out. I wouldnt mind but the funeral is at 12pm so there is plenty of time for her to go to the funeral and still pick SS6 up. She just wants the free piss up at the wake afterwards

Maybe you would have felt

Maybe you would have felt better if BM was going to her own funderal ... sorry couldnt resist.

YOu have every right to feel undermined. Part of that should be directed at your inlaws. Why are they making arrangements regarding SS behind their son's back? Oh oh familial lines run back to the BM and she is mother to the grandchild of theirs. Give that woman a gold medal!

Urgh your situation sucks. Hugs sent to you on this with one.

Thanks hun really means a

Thanks hun really means a lot... it does suck, especially when noone gets why Im annoyed. The inlaws NEVER help us out with ANYTHING. I've been in hospital 5 times since new yrs they never visited once or bought a bunch of grapes or anything!! yet BM makes one phone call and they go running?? bleughh.
And yes BMs funeral has been the subject of many a daydream of mine }:)

Oh I've known for a long

Oh I've known for a long time. I spoke to them once about bending over backwards for her but not for me. There answer..... "Well you havnt given us grandkids, she has"... Yeh we were never gonna b ok after that

After the grandkids comment,

After the grandkids comment, I wouldn't give the in-laws the time of day.

Let them make all the side arrangements they want as long as it does not affect you. And it better not EVER affect you.

I get your frustration but at this point, since your husband and in-laws are all in agreement, I would just completely disengage from these situations. So, they should not expect you to rearrange your day to accommodate an arrangement they have made with BM. When BM drops the ball one of these days, which will probably happen, the in-laws can deal with.

If they want to deal with BM because she is so damn special, they can have her. By the way, didn't she abuse their precious grand son?

I get your frustration but at

and your hubby shouldn't expect your money to go towards any more costs for his kid. his parents can help out in that area.

And is she going to be drinking at the wake? I ask that bc I'm from an Italian family...and wakes were usually to eat and drink and remember.

Yep she caused bruising round

Yep she caused bruising round his neck and chest when she strangled him last September. She also burned him with the iron and locked him in a cupboard as punishment. She has done 9 mths of supervised contact and played the system like u wouldn't believe. In my opinion she should never get chance to be alone with him again but the court in its wisdom says she's proved she's sorry! This was her first unsupervised contact in nearly a yr and she's already getting out of making ss a priority. I don't know wot else this psycho has to do to have the family stand up to her!

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