Im not sure if Im getting SD6 wrong but id sure like to refuse her visits right now!!

She has turned into a bitchy whiny little s**t lately and an ill mannered and ungrateful mare to boot!! Its all "oooo feel sorry for me"!!!!

She doesnt use her P & Qs anymore, is rude, and does everything possible to get my BD into trouble....oh yeah and she is a total grass too!
SD6 and BD6 had a pad bought each for Xmas gone, SD6 dropped hers and its broke.....BD6 has looked after hers.....so when we went on hols last week BD6 took her pad with her and MIL took hers for SD6 to use.....so...MIL has packed hers in her case which is in the boot....BD6 has packed hers in the back seat of the car (can you guess where this is going!?)...apparently it seems that if SD6 cant do or cant have then BD6 cant...So BD6 gets her pad out on the journey to play and SD6 whines "No BD6 you cant...your not allowed...its not fair cos mine is broke!"....then all I hear is "StessedSteeeeepppppp is BD6 allowed to play on her pad!?"......to which *luckily might I add* OH says "If stressedstep says BD can play on it then she can, stop trying to cause trouble SD6"...and thats just an example!

EVERYTHING is "unfaaaaaairrrrrr!" in her f*cking mind..get a grip child! I have a pet rabbit...its MY pet rabbit...so last night I was adding food to her pod (she is a house rabbit) and SD6 asked if she could put the food in...I said no, cos I needed to go into the pod (besides SD6 had been at her moms in white socks....sh*t me wipe ya feet on ya way out....the soles were disgusting and I wasnt having lord knows what filth walked round my rabbit!)...now on occasions if Im busy and such or cleaning the pod my BD helps me, and that includes putting treats in the pod.....OH tells SD6 that the treat has to be hung up so she cant do it...and my BD says "ive done them before, you just hook it there!"......so SD6 has a tit baby crying fit of "thats not fair BD6...daddy thats not fair!!"..... to which my reply was...."have ya ever thought that maybe I want to feed MY rabbit MYSELF!!??"

The reason I said no to SD6? Because she was there......I dont allow any help with my rabbit if BD and SD are together cos it creates arguments from SD6 along the lines of "your always here BD and Im not so I should do it to make it fair!".....WTF!? Is this normal behaviour here!? Cos Im close to not being able to deal with it! SD6 was a total nightmare on holiday....constantly cutting looks at BD, getting in her face and snapping at her...when she does something like that she checks to see if Im watching and in the end, I was cutting those dirty looks straight back at her!!

When we got back off hols, they were both playing in BD's bedroom...all her Barbie toys were out and SD6 left BD6 to tidy it all up....so I told SD she had to help as she got half the stuff out and played with it too...she was not amused......so SD did a bit then left and went back to her own room so I told BD I would help...BD went onto the landing and called SD, who after 6 calls came out of her room and snapped "What!?" (she didnt know I was upstairs standing behind her).... BD told her that she didnt need to help.....SD6 said "and why? why cant I help now!? Thats not fair!" BD said "well you walked off and ignored me and left me to tidy it all up anyway! So I dont need your help now!"...to which SD6 shouted " Get out of my face BD6!!" whilst pushing her face into my BD.....MY BD hadnt moved.....so out of the blue I bend down next to SD6 who promptly sh*ts herself cos she didnt know I was there and said " BD didnt get in your face.....but im about too.....shut your noise and do as Ive told you...NOW!"

She was not happy.....Just before the hols, BD6 lost another milk tooth....apparently that was "unfair" cos SD6 as only lost 2 and BD has lost about 6....it was also unfair that BD6 was having money from the Tooth Fairy whilst SD6 wasnt......so is this normal stuff? Or is SD6 starting to turn into BM? Its as if EVERYTHING has to be about her, whether she is there or not..she doesnt even live with us...comes to tea on a Tuesday and stops overnight one day at the weekend and the other day at MIL...but we have her most holidays too.....

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I mean...surely SD6 is not

I mean...surely SD6 is not expecting me to limit or not do things with my BD until she is around!?? I want to do more with my BD than the expectant SD6!

It sounds like a normal 6

It sounds like a normal 6 year old that's a bit jealous of your BD6. Probably because in her mind, your BD6 gets to be around your H all of the time. And she only gets to see him on a schedule.

It sounds like she could use some positive reinforcement to make her feel more grounded and secure. Not to say she shouldn't be disciplined when she misbehaves, but maybe your H could sit her down and talk to her. Keep in mind she's 6 and can't express her feelings the same way an adult can.

I realize it's frustrating to be around a child that behaves this way, but she is a child and for the most part they're very limited on emotional expression.

Thankyou for your reply I

Thankyou for your reply I just wanted to touch on a couple of things if I may......

"What is not normal or acceptable; YOU actually acting out on your annoyance and dislike of this small child."

I dont dislike her, but her rude, ill mannered and disruptive behaviour is not starting to grate on my nerves after 4 YEARS....I on the whole have a very good relationship with SD to the point taht when she stays, she asks ME to do everything for her over her dad and MIL (much to MIL's dislike admittedly, but what can I do)

"You show her in little ways just how much less you think of her than your daughter. Like the rabbit cage. YOU want to be the only one to give a treat to YOUR rabbit ...unless of course YOUR daughter wants to. Your right, your choice but don't expect a six year old to understand."

As explained, if im busy then yes, my BD helps me. I work full time 5 days a week and on weekedns SD is with us so I have little one to one time with my BD, so if Im cleaning or whatever, yes I involve my daughter, am I not to find one to one time with MY child or have little things that i do ONLY with my child? SD's mother is dole dosser who does jack sh*t and never has, my daughter doesnt have that "privilege".

"you got in a six year olds face * Make you feel big and powerful * I wouldn't know being I have never been hit with such an over whelming desire to get in kindergarteners faces I couldn't pass the urge!"

I did say I was standing BEHIND SD at the time, but yes I do get down to BOTH girls height level when I am telling them off!

"YOUR daughter instigated it by going up there and making a point to call her stepsister out just to say she isn't needed to help. And YOU stood there observing instead of just intervening like a responsible adult and redirecting your own child!"

MY daughter called out 6 times to SD AFTER SD had skulked off from doing something I had told her to do! BD had no idea where she had gone!They were BOTH upstairs, SD ignored BD because she didnt want to tidy up the mess she had made! My child didnt need redirecting, SD should have done as she was TOLD TO DO! As a rule both myself and OH encourage the girls to try and work things out between them, however, BD's maturity level is much higher than average which makes things difficult.....BD actually passed the "not fair" stage a year or so ago....due to my average parenting I always encouraged BD to work through issues and difficulties and THINK about thinks and actions etc.

"Though this IS STalk and let me guess : your bio is all angel sparkles and fairy wings of everything good and wholesome while skid is a devilish demon spawned from Hell via BMs womb, right?"

Hell No!! LOL My BD can be a total bloody nightmare with an attitude to match! Again, due to my parenting and encouraging her to think about actions etc, and allowing a degree of choice from a very early age, my BD is a handful! BUT she NEVER forgets her manners, nor respect, she does not attempt to get others into trouble and she is totally not expectant and respects everything she is given and appreciates it. SD does not. BD is more mature than most her age because of this, and does prefer to speak with children older than her. She certainly is no angel and can be a right bratt when the mood takes her, like this morning. BUT and this is a huge BUT...AT LEAST I CAN ADMIT IT ABOUT MY OWN CHILD, AND I WORK HARD TO CHANGE THIS AND ANY BEHAVIOUR AND ENSURE BD THINKS AND CONSIDERS HER ACTIONS AND CONSEQUENCES, SO I CAN SEE SOMETHING WORSE IN OTHERS!

I honesty do appreciate your comment, I just needed to clarify a few things. Ive been more of a mother than BM to this child for 4 years, and Im honest at saying I do not like how she is changing. SD has started spending more time with BM lately and SD has now started lying about my BD and things that BD does with her own father (my ex) which caused a row between OH and BM....

Im not sure if Im getting SD6 wrong but id sure like to refuse her visits right now!!