You are here

Almost not pissed. But still, some pissy-ness. Sigh.

Sparklelady's picture

Submitted by Sparklelady on Sat, 03/22/2014 - 7:38am

I've been angry for a week. Since my DH told me that SD 17 was moving out of her mom's now too.

I've been pissed that (in my opinion - though based on history) her mom is pushing her to go since she wasn't able to get CS from us.

I'm pissed because, what the hell was the point of SD leaving here and causing US pain only to turn around and leave her mom's a few months later?

I've been pissed because I also just found out that my husband never told his family exactly what happened when SD left here, so they've been thinking something actually DID happen. And of course, they never asked us for any clarification.

I was pissed when SD asked him if we had furniture to sell her (not pissed that she asked to buy furniture - pissed that because she left us in secret, now almost 8 months ago and still hasn't spoken to me, there is no pleasure for me in helping her furnish her home. How could I want to help her?!)

I'm pissed that, despite knowing better, I'm still pissed!

Sigh. I had no idea I was still so wounded by SD. I still feel betrayed. Seven years of caring for her (getting her the mental health care she needed) and comforting her when her BM struck her down - and in the end, it didn't matter. That's what hurts. Hope it doesn't last too much longer. I don't like being mad.

Comments

furkidsforme's picture

Submitted by furkidsforme on Sat, 03/22/2014 - 8:21am

If it's any consolation, you could focus on the fact that your SD is a KID. It sounds like your DH, who is an adult and has no excuse not to know better, failed to handle and navigate complicated family relationships properly. Yet you are angry that a 17 year old KID didn't do better?

I would forgive the kid because you know at 17 she doesn't have the confidence or life skills to navigate such complicated and difficult interpersonal and family matters effectively yet, and be pissed at DH for being such an inexcusable dolt.

Sparklelady's picture

Submitted by Sparklelady on Sat, 03/22/2014 - 9:44am

It's tough, tog - you'll be better off than me if that time comes because you're prepping for it now. I do wish I had done so earlier. BDP relationships blow chunks!

My DH has actually been pretty awesome, he wants her to lie in the bed she's made. I just have to remember not to misdirect my anger at him for SD and BM's actions. Then I need to remember just not to get angry!

Sparklelady's picture

Submitted by Sparklelady on Sat, 03/22/2014 - 9:40am

Thank you. I know this in my heart. I'm just surprised how much that wound still festers. I'm almost never angry, but this week I've wanted to pick fights just to get it out. I'm just about okay now - since I'm able to even post about it, it means it's going away.