Why I love my husband
Yesterday, as we were running errands, he asks me out of the blue "So how long are we going to let the kids live with us?"
After a dinner out with friends who have their 22 yr old still at home, and his sister who has her 25 yr old plus their 22 yr old son AND his girlfriend living with them, he was wondering when to tell our kids to take a hike. All those kids mentioned are done school and hanging around. They have enabling parents (whom we love!) but they are enablers nonetheless.
I love the man, because our kids are 14 (mine) and 15 (his). And he's already thinking about when to cut the cord. We decided that once they're done post secondary school - preferably when they are almost done school - it's time to go. Where we live, that means between age 18-22. And that's just fine with me.
Please don't hate me - I already did my time with a crappy marriage. I'm considering this my karma for some good deed once done lol!
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It's more I don't want to rub
It's more I don't want to rub it in to those whose spouses aren't on the same page as them and they find themselves saddled with grown ups still under their roof. I was so happy when he raised the subject, and that we felt the same!! My heart aches for those who don't have that same harmony in their relationships.
I don't want any "failure to launch" kids around here! Go! Be useful and productive
How funny, DH and I were
How funny, DH and I were talking about this yesterday too. We were watching step brothers (ha I love that movie) and I asked DH if he would still love me if my bio was a 40 year old manchild living at home (they are twins so I said it would be just like them only not step brothers)
DH laughed and was like no, none of these punks are living here past high school, even if they want to pay rent. Really, we talked about it and said if they lived at home and went to school they would be welcome, if it were right after school and they were trying to get on their feet or if it were later in life and they were divorced or something and needed help getting on their feet (that situation would be temporary)
I'm so glad we are on the same page!
"no power tools!" "we have so
"no power tools!"
"we have so much space for activities!"
"on the count of three say your favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to..... good housekeeping, did we just become best friends?"
DSO's brother and wife have 3
DSO's brother and wife have 3 sons between them. I don't know exact ages but all in the 28-32 age range. Only one of these boys doesn't live with Mommy and Daddy..
Yes, it is BMs son.
Can you dh please set my dh
Can you dh please set my dh straight?!
We are remodeling our home and dh keeps saying things like, "we can turn this into an inlaw unit for one of the kids to live in when they're older" ...or "if we add a bathroom here this will be good for one of the kids to live in"
I'm like N. To the O!
I keep telling him that our jobs are to send them out into the world, leave the nest, give productive and find your calling. I keep yelling him we will have failed if we have 20 something's living with us without paying rent, going to school, etcetera. I do not want to provide then with a posh love nest that they can slack and never leave.
Good for you and your smart dh!
I'll send him right over!!
Haha, I told my hubby you
Haha, I told my hubby you wanted him to set yours straight, and he said "Yep! Kick them out! Come for dinner, but don't ask for money!"
He's a keeper
Can you dh please set my dh
Can you dh please set my dh straight?!
We are remodeling our home and dh keeps saying things like, "we can turn this into an inlaw unit for one of the kids to live in when they're older" ...or "if we add a bathroom here this will be good for one of the kids to live in"
I'm like N. To the O!
I keep telling him that our jobs are to send them out into the world, leave the nest, give productive and find your calling. I keep yelling him we will have failed if we have 20 something's living with us without paying rent, going to school, etcetera. I do not want to provide then with a posh love nest that they can slack and never leave.
Good for you and your smart dh!
I'm happy for you! I feel
I'm happy for you! I feel optimistic that we will be the same way.
My husband said that we won't have an 18+ year old "kid" living with us. YAY!!!
One of his kids is really smart and highly self-motivated so I'm sure she will go to college. However, she must do it on her own...by scholarship/student loans/work. We won't contribute.
The other kid MIGHT finish high school if his parents keep riding his ass but I am not holding my breath that he's going to accomplish much in life. Ever. DH said he's done at age 18. If his ex wants to take care of adults, whatever, that's her problem.
I don't think this is "mean" or "selfish" in the slightest. By that time, he will have paid hundreds of thousands of dollars out to their greedy mom. IMO, he's already done way more than his part, she will just have to step it up and help them "launch". If she's smart, she will have saved some of my husband's money for this purpose, but I doubt very seriously that she is. Oh well. If things stay the way they are now, DH won't even get to start his own retirement savings until he gets to stop paying CS.