You are here

  • Home
  • Blogs
  • Sootica's blog
  • BM says infertility is natures way of preventing those who aren't meant to be parent's have children :jaw drop:

BM says infertility is natures way of preventing those who aren't meant to be parent's have children :jaw drop:

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 6:43am

Background info :End of last year it was confirmed our only chance of having a bio would be through IVF with I CSI. Over the festive season we went around to SIL 1 for a family get together & as DH & I got there early I went to help SIL in the kitchen with a few last minute food items whilst DH was in the front room with SS & his nephew. So SIL knew that we had been TTC for a while & that we had been to the doctor. So she enquires how that went. Without going into specifics I said it looks like IVF may be our only option of a bio.We chatted for a bit & then heard a "cough" & next thing DH's cousin's wife walks in.Now she is friends with BM so I am always on guard around this woman & I had no idea if she had overheard my conversation with SIL. Anyway day proceeds without a hitch and I soon forget about it.

Fast forward to last weekend, SS is invited to a school friends birthday party & as it's our weekend to have him DH will drop him off. We then decide we (DH & I ) may as we'll catch a movie while SS is at the party & then pick him up afterwards. Anyway we get to the party drop off & surprise, surprise BM is there "helping" the birthday boy's mother supervise the children. I ignore her as we about to leave I notice SS has left his iPod on the side (must of used it in the car) so I said to him "SS I'll put the iPod in my bag & give it back to you when we pick you up". Next thing BM comes barging up to me "Don't you tell my son he can't keep his iPod with him if he wants to!" ( DH bought the iPod & SS is continually misplacing it). So DH says to her "Don't speak to my wife like that she just offered to keep it safe for SS so he doesn't loose it" to which BM pipes up "Well when she has her OWN child she can tell it what to do, but I hear she can't have children so she shouldn't try playing mommy to mine. You know Sootica some people just aren't meant to be parents & this May be natures way of telling you that!". There were a number of parents dropping their kids off to the party who heard this, I wanted to die. I am still beyond hurt & shocked I couldn't even speak or breathe.DH gave her an earful but I didn't stick around to hear it. SS 12 stood there laughing like an idiot while his mother launched into this tirade.

I just turned around and walked back to the car in stunned silence. DH was equally shocked & the only way BM could have known about our situation was via DH's cousin's wife. Infertility is difficult for any couple to deal with but having BM rub my face in it & shout it from the hilltops makes it worse. What infuriates me is besides the audacity of her rudeness because she heard "IVF" she assumes the problem is with me. I am beyond angry & have spent all week completely ignoring both DH & SS. This morning I have told DH that we're it not for his stupidity I would never have crossed paths with BM & been exposed to last weekends drama. Since being diagnosed infertile DH has stuck his head in the sand with regards to SS paternity, then it was "oh I'll do a test after Christmas, New Year blah blah" well enough! I am sick of being the guilty party yet again because he was too stupid to demand a paternity test all those years ago & fell for BM's bullsh*t hook!line & sinker!I have told him that the next time someone enquires when we having a baby I will inform them that as my husband is infertile it depends on when we start IVF & let them draw their own conclusions who SS daddy is!Am still fuming a week on.

Comments

ctnmom's picture

Submitted by ctnmom on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 7:58am

Get your DH to get a paternity test PRONTO. No more sticking his head in the sand. And I would be taking out a billboard stating my husband is the one shooting blanks. She threw down the gauntlet of war with her comments. I'm serious. And to your SS's credit, sometimes kids laugh when they're embarrassed, he WAS put in the middle by his mother. She horned in on the cruelest thing she could possibly comment on, in front of other people. WAR.

queenofthedamned's picture

Submitted by queenofthedamned on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 8:43am

what a cunt. I have dealt with infertility for a long time and have heard my share of shitty comments but none directly from BM's mouth - I would have slapped the shit out of her.

I have heard through the grapevine that she thinks the only reason I am with FDH is that I want the skids as my own. Umm, sure - that's what every infertile person wants right? Someone else's shitty kids screwed up by someone else's shitty parenting and shitty genes. Sure.

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 9:37am

Thanks for all your support everyone. DH did say how he spoke to SS about his laughing being inappropriate but I stopped him right there & told him I actually don't want to hear anything more about SS. The only information pertaining to SS I am interested in are the paternity test results. I have told DH that by him putting off the DNA test it won't change the result and either way he needs to know. So apparently he is going to order one of those online ones & get it done. Thinking back now I wish I had something back to BM but at the time I felt like I had been punched in the stomach & could barely breathe let alone come back with a smart comment. Believe me I do wish I could slap her silly!I know the woman detests me because even though she fell pregnant DH still wouldn't marry her & she definitely thinks of herself as MOTY with a severe case of golden uterus syndrome. She had DH jumping through hoops for years because everything was "but it's for the good of the child" & it took a long,long time to de-disneyfy DH.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 10:34am

She is an awful person with no class, heart, or soul!! I'm sorry that your going through this. For your sake please keep focused on your goals and your DH getting that paternity test done. As for the BM, she is digging her own grave and isn't worth your time of day anyways. The less reaction she gets from you and your DH, the sooner she will move on to the next thing or person. It will in given time come back to haunt her!!!

(((HUGS))) stay strong.

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 10:39am

You need to have your DH's get a DNA test...like yesterday! It is not just about...is his son really his son? You need to know for medical reasons. It is a VERY important factor for both of you.

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 11:38am

{{{{Hugs}}}}}
How horrible for you. It took 2 1/2 years to have DS. I can't imagine someone being so intentionally cruel. It was a hard enough time to begin with. I don't know how you didn't fire back. Kudos to you.

Delphi's picture

Submitted by Delphi on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 11:48am

What a royal b*tch! The consolation in this is that everyone was witness to her poison...so the cat's out of the bag as to what a witch that woman is - (if they hadn't known already). Honestly, a lot of couples deal with infertility issues and of course, as you know, it's no reflection of a person's ability to parent. Everyone knows that. This woman is just a vile, repugnant creature who's obviously extremely jealous of you. I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that. Don't worry...in time she'll be swallowed up by her own sh*t.

Sootica's picture

Submitted by Sootica on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 12:07pm

beaccountable yes the infertility is on DH part which was a huge shock in itself as when months were going by with no baby in sight I automatically assumed something was wrong with me as DH had SS who was unplanned & conceived whilst BM was allegedly on the pill.

I will keep everyone posted & can't thank-you all enough for your kindness & support. I too pray for a miracle and to be blessed with a bio in the future .

Delphi I agree with you 100% that birthing a child does not automatically make a person a fantastic parent & BM is living proof of this but she thinks she is MOTY.

ConfusedStep's picture

Submitted by ConfusedStep on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 12:22pm

I'm so sorry you went through that. I can only imagine how you felt at the moment, so good for you for not giving her the reaction she wanted. I bet she was just looking for a reason to say what she did. Obviously the woman is a vile POS to act like that - especially in front of others; she really showed her ass.

Ssamantha's picture

Submitted by Ssamantha on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 12:36pm

UNBELIEVABLE. THese two things need to happen immediately:

1. Paternity test
2. Repercussion for SS laughing

I am so sorry you had to deal with this. There is a special place for heffas like her.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Sat, 02/15/2014 - 2:15pm

Bm just showed her own ignorance and lack of class. Her words are no reflection on you on any way!!

How does DH explain bm getting pg but not you????? I would set a deadline for DNA test!!

Hugs dear !!

StepLady's picture

Submitted by StepLady on Sun, 02/16/2014 - 11:06pm

Sounds like a big fat witch that is enjoying your hard time out of jealousy and insecurity! Stupid cow showed her true colors to anyone who saw or heard! Just goes to show when you try to make someone look like an asshole you look like a bigger one! Try not to pay her any mind, she is a turd.

stepinafrica's picture

Submitted by stepinafrica on Sun, 10/05/2014 - 3:30pm

Get a paternity test done.And if having a baby is what you really want, then do whatever you need to do to get one. Adoption, IVF, sperm donor, whatever.