I'm new here even though I have been reading on ST for a long time.
Now that I've finally broken the ice and made some posts, I find I have tons of things to discuss or complain about. Or both.

I have an ongoing issue where I have a problem that my DH and two SD don't talk much or visit much.
I find it odd that he doesn't call them often or that they don't call him either. They get along great once they are together but its just strange to me.

I have to older children who were in constant contact with their father and he with them. I never kept them from visit and if one didn't call the other it meant someone was sick.

DH has been divorced from their mom for quite a while now. CO states that due to the children being older that they can chose to visit or not. No one wanted to force them. They were teens after all and being a teen is just plain hard so they thought this would be best. I'm not sure I agree.

They really have no relationship what so ever. I encourage my DH to call, text or whatever with them all the time but he doesn't. I find it odd that they don't either but that could be some PASing going on. I have to tell him to call and see if the YSD16 wants to come for the weekend. He says he will then tells me he forgot or she has plans.

I love having my house to ourselves because that is what I am used to. My children moved out years ago but I want my DH to have a relationship with his girls as well.

I get along fine with the YSD16 so far but we don't see her often enough for it to be otherwise. The OSD20 I do have some issues with but it has nothing to do with how she treats me. She is an odd one to say the least. All she cares about is Pokemon and Dr. Who and lord knows what current video game is out. She went to work finally and made it an entire month before she quit. She was living with her BF but we think she moved home. We saw her maybe 5 times this past year. Once we met her for dinner, once for Christmas and the others were doc appts or something that we needed to pay for. I think I can write her off without feeling to bad but somehow I still do.

The YSD16 is very quite. She only does band at school. Doesn't have alot of friends but I think that is because she is socially awkward and because when she does go anywhere it is to her BMs sister's house so she is constantly with family. When she comes to the house she likes to spend time with me in the kitchen and I find her following me around to see what I'm doing. Not being bugful but in an "I'm interested" kinda way. When we eat out she orders the exact same thing I order ever single time. I find it flattering. I think she is looking for something in me that she can't find in her mom. Her mom is a big smoker, goes to bars, talks really loud and has some anger issues. I'm sure the BM talks about us as well to her which is wrong. Personally I think she just feels lost.

I want her to come especially and wouldn't mind having the older one over as well but don't want the older one to think its ok to come and stay because she is way to old to be doing that but no one calls each other.

I can call or text an invite and I have in the past but I think it makes my DH look bad because I do it and not him. We have some BM issues going on right now and I don't want to give fuel to any of this. I don't believe in using the kids to benefit from anything and BM does.

Does any of this make sense? It ways on my mind from time to time. We haven't seen either daughter since Christmas and in my opinion that is just way to long even though I was pretty well disgusted with OSD20 and her weird ass boyfriend.

I just don't know what to make out of none of them trying to contact the other. I want to blame the girls doing it on being young adults with better things to than hang with parents but I don't have a valid excuse for DH. You would think they would miss each other and want to at lease talk to each other once a week.

Any ideas on this one? Changing CO orders to require visits is not an option. Cost to much money for the fight. Better to let some sleeping dragons lie.

BTW, this isn't my first rodeo as step mom. I was previously married for 20 years and helped raise two step sons along side my children. It wasn't a cake walk but we got along fine with that BM and I had no problems with the kids until they were much much older. The only difference is that my marriage that time took place when the children were 6 and 8 and this time they were teenagers with opinions and thoughts. Makes it much different.