Her mother doesn't want to take her to the hospital because they'll keep her for 72 hours and she thinks she's bipolar.

Let that sink in.

THAT IS WHAT SHOULD BE DONE. Take the kid to the damn hospital!!!

The girl needs a psych eval and likely help.

I think this needs to be taken seriously.

At the very least SD should be seen by a councilor.

SD13 talks about suicide ALL the time. When I told DH that he should tell BM about it, BM's response was "UFR needs to mind her fucking business!"
:jawdrop:

A hospital can only have a 72 hour hold if there is an immediate risk of harm to themselves or someone else. The person has to express that by words or actions. It's not only that your SD12 was emotional or cutting herself.

Why did the mother want to take her to the hospital? It's not for the physical damage, because she would not have hesitated if the cuts required medical treatment. A hospital emergency room is not a counseling center.

The cutting is a physical manifestation of the internal turmoil. It's a coping mechanism for many who self-injure. For some it may be constant, and an early warning of a serious and dangerous mental health concern, for others it may be a rare spillover of emotion. There is great diversity in the people who self-harm, and 'cool' or 'suicidal' are only two possible reasons. Talk to the child, and if you're an active part of the child's life, try to take the circumstances, their personality, etc. into consideration, in deciding if you're getting the real reason for the self-harm and if there is reason for medical intervention.

Having a conversation with a medical professional experienced in self-injury, not a general doctor, could help the adults learn how to talk to the child and handle the situation.

She needs a hospitalization to evaluate her and get her on meds. SD17 has had one visit and it wasn't enough, she was only put on anti-depressants and now has been diagnosed as bi-polar but refusing more meds and is out of control. This gets worse very quickly.

She needs to be admitted and they can do a hold and evaluate her and start the meds. As she gets older this gets harder. SD17 is out of control and not welcome here because of behavior. We are just waiting until 18 to stop worrying and we can no longer be sued for anything she may do. We have drugs, drinking and other reckless behavior to worry about. This started at 14 and had gotten worse, because BM ignored it...Now it is all her problem because we have given up.

You said the stepdad went to jail for molestation...how in the he11 does BM still have custody?

Has BM ever been investigated by CPS? You or DH should notify CPS that his daughters/your SDs are living with a known child molester. Please read this link below very carefully as soon as humanly possible. Someone in a position to do something and bring about some change needs to know these kids are living with a molester. The authorities need to know these kids are living with a molester. My thoughts and prayers go out to your SDs.

http://www.dshs.wa.gov/CA/safety/abuseReport.asp?2

Please, please call one of the numbers on that link and let us know what happens. Best wishes.

I agree with kathc. She needs to be evaluated. What's the harm in the 72 hour hold?

If it's something real & serious, it HAS to be addressed.

If it's a fad/fitting in thing, a visit to the hospital & a 72 hour hold will send a clear message about how serious people are about it & hopefully that will deter her from seeking attention that way.

Every time BM moves, SD is being uprooted. Uproot her one last time & move her into a stable environment.

They don't put holds on children. It up to the parents to place their child in a psychiatric facility, but practitioners do not detain people under 18. So it would be mom's decision.

Many mental health hospitals have 24/7 evaluations. I feel like having her evaluated asap would be the best option. Allow a professional to guide you here.

Your DH needs to read up on cutting and document that phone call. I don't know what kind of conditions bm keeps the kids in but if she's neglecting them CPS still needs to be involved. What does DHs CO say about them moving? Many COs mandate that the moving parent must have legal permission from the other parent to move, or go through the courts before moving. He may be able to stop bm from moving and put an end to her moving the kids around all the time.

I still think you or DH ought to notify CPS that SD is cutting herself so a) they can intervene and get her some help or b) redirect you to the appropriate resources that can help her if they can't. CPS ought to also know that BM hasn't done one thing about SD cutting herself.

Borderline personality disorder. Look it up, immediately. It's not bipolar, but it can appear to be.

She will not stop cutting without help. The stats on successful suicides by BPD's are staggering. This WILL not improve if you ignore it.