SO doesn't want to initiate Child Support
So I posted last week about BM being pregnant by a man that doesn't want anything to do with her or the baby. A lot of mentioned that my SO better be careful cause she will want to go for more child support. As of now, child support is not through the court. She set up the amount for us to pay and it's not a lot at all. I think SO got off easy. Now since child support isn't through the court, some of you mentioned that he may have to pay back child support if and when BM decides to take him to court. They don't have anything in writing for the child support he pays now. I have mentioned all of this SO and he does not want to initiate child support on his end. I am being the supporting GF and said OK. I wasn't really sure what to say because after all, it is his decision to make. Now I'm just hoping that if BM takes him to court, he won't have to pay back child support.
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CS gets estimated from the
CS gets estimated from the day the motion was filed. If he pays her now, without a CS order, make sure he pays by check or money order and that it is clearly stated on his method of payment "child support for so&so". That will be proof for the courts that he HAS been paying all along.
My DH paid BM that way for 2
My DH paid BM that way for 2 years and then when she filed for CS modification to move out of state and to get a court order for support, CS sent him a bill for 2 years worth of CS. I lost it! Luckily BM really needed to move out of state so she wasn't even trying to piss DH off and she signed a waiver that he'd been paying her the correct amount all along.
Make sure he gets a receipt for each and every payment. It's vital.
He does need to have
He does need to have something that states that the money is specifically for child support or it's considered a gift.
If he doesn't want to go through the courts, that's fine but he does need proof that he has been paying what they both consider to be child support.
Just have him write a check
Just have him write a check with "Child support for 'SO kid'" on it. That way that money can't be counted as a'gift' when/if she does go for child support.
We only pay in check and we
We only pay in check and we keep copies of them. She tried to get us to pay in cash, ha yeah right. What we haven't been doing is putting in the memo "child Support for SD" so we will start doing that. I really don't want this to be seen as a gift. If we are giving something to BM, it sure as hell not going to be money.
What, you don't give your
What, you don't give your exes money every month just for fun? Just for the pure joy of having had them in your life for that period of time?
Right!!! That's what I don't
Right!!! That's what I don't understand, a gift, seriously? Now that's crazier then the BM. Dads usually get the short end of the stick when it comes to family court, especially in the state of NY. I can totally see this happening to SO.
I asked him if this would
I asked him if this would even be doable. He's not sure if BM would sign anything relating to CS, even though she made up the amount. She would loose her sense of control. It would have to be carefully planned, as we would need to catch BM in an exceptional mood. Right now, she is pissed because we moved and added 10 min. to the 25 min. drive and they have a fetch order in their CO.
Yeah, be careful. Although
Yeah, be careful. Although that would be ideal, asking her to sign something might get her to start thinking.
If he has copies of all of his checks to her, he should make a notation on the back of the copy or to the side of the check that it was for child support. That is something, even though it's not in the memo on the original check.
I would pretty much do whatever I thought might cover my ass. A spreadsheet called CHILD SUPPORT PAID, with all the dates and amounts correlating with the checks, something like that. Couldn't hurt. Then if you can ever get her in the right mood, you have it for her to sign.