I haven't told off my mil, but I have told off my fil and sil. However, I did it at a point in which I knew there was no going back ever-we were not going to "make up" at any future point and be friends-the relations between them and my family were completely done.

I would simply say "I did do the right thing- what was right for me and my family." Shit stirrers hate when they can't frazzle you.

no ma'am. i just cut her off completely. havent spoken to her in almost a year and a half. laid eyes on her once- all she got was a head nod out of me (just to let her know someone knew she'd pulled up, she was there to pick up a skid). that's it. i have no reason to ever deal with MIL. (then again, dh and i dont have any shared kids, so that makes it easier)

Oh! ANd I DID tell off MIL once, long ago!

I work shift work and have to leave at 5am, so MIL used to come over at 5 to get the kids up later and send them off to school. Now, my house is not a pig sty, but it has that lived-in look. MIL's is neurotically clean. MIL started coming earlier and earlier, until she was getting there at 4 am!!! Then she would go about cleaning the kitchen.

One day I confronted her and asked her to stop coming early, and to please stop cleaning the kitchen. It was MY kitchen and she was overstepping. She got huffy and said "Well SOMEONE has to do it!!!" ( of course being all judgey that I don't clean enough)so I told her she was right. Someone did have to do it, and that someone was ME. Not her. Ever. If she didn't like it she could bring the kid McDonalds.

Our relationship actually got better, and the snide and judging comments stopped about everything. She did, however, call my MOTHER (they go to the same church, but aren't friends or anything)and cry and ask my mother why I (a grown ass woman over 30 at the time!) didn't like her and what she could do to make me like her. My mom laughed and said "You can't make Furkidsforme do ANYTHING she doesn't want to. If she doesn't like you, she just DOESN'T LIKE YOU."

I wouldn't respond to her. You said your piece. Why continue to have to try and justify your decision based purely on the fact MIL doesn't agree with you? It's your home, your child, your guest list.

Unless you're prepared to have the MIL declare 'war' on you (at least until she gets over herself), I'd let it go with what has already been exchanged. My MIL (now deceased) never would say a peep to me. She just ran around whining to others about what she thought. Really never bothered me. I didn't marry MIL, I married her son. The old goat was an 'equal opportunity' complainer...she ran around whining about the others just like she whined about me. Woman wasn't happy unless she was b*tching and trying to cause trouble. Pfft. I ignored her.

I've told off my MIL. Although it felt amazing, I wouldn't recommend it. It started an all-out war with SIL that she still wages to this day (2 yrs later).

I'm a strong enough person to stand by what I feel. I apologized later for the delivery but I never retracted what I said. I don't let SIL's comments get me down (even though they are horrific and insane) but the strain it's placed on DH and I is unreal.

..but it felt really, really good }:)

Yes as a 19 year old bride. Growing up in an alcoholic home has made me a laser beam on sizing people up, and I immediately filed MIL under "battleaxe". Wasn't going to spend my life kissing her big ring. She pushes everyone around- but not me. And after 31 years of marriage, she's one of my best friends. But still a battleaxe lol.

Mine was a relatively mild tell off but I was very firm. My new husband (my now ex) and I were arguing about something minor in MIL's kitchen and she butted in. I looked at her and said He may be YOUR son but he's MY husband and this is now between US. She shut up quick. For a while she was rather passive aggressive and tried to get things her way like holidays and such. I tried at first to compromise, when that blew back on me and the whole give an inch/take a mile thing started to become the norm, I said I'm done and said a magical word that even in it's simplicity can topple the mightiest of women: NO.

Don't worry so much about being her friend. Just do what's best for you and your kids. I assume SIL is her daughter. OF COURSE she's going to defend her little angel - that's her blood daughter. Let her. Sounds like she missed out more on the party than your son did. And SIL sounds like a brat who just doesn't like sharing attention.

Yes I have done it...Won't take it back and she is not welcome here. Love my FIL, but my MIL is bat shit crazy....Have also done it to SIL and BIL for some things they did with BM and SD. Not welcome here either. Toxic people do not get to take up space in my life.

Never had to set boundaries and or tell either of my MIL's off, I got lucky in that department. Mr. Starla on the other hand had a shouting match with his EX MIL and he had set boundaries with his current MIL. If your able to set boundaries without fighting, I would do it if she is being out of line or she might not quit.