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I'm drunk and I'm hurting....help!

savemysanity's picture

Submitted by savemysanity on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 5:25pm

As hateful as they are, I miss my SD's....what the efff is wrong with me? I can't stop crying. I can't believe I'm spending the holidays without them. I hate them, but I don't want to....and yet, I still love them. I would have done anything for them. Gahhhhhhhh.

Comments

Igiveupsotornupinside's picture

Submitted by Igiveupsotornup... on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 5:48pm

Oh no...hugs! I have been where your at and I don't know your story. I don't know if your disengaged or what but I have felt your pain before. Not anymore though...even though I struggle with guilt, I will not let my SD back in my life. Too much damage. Anyways as for you...it may be that you are drunk...don't do anything until you sober up. I find myself getting more sad about our situation when I have too many glasses of wine or not enough sleep. My last post was completely due to lac of sleep from dealing with the drama in the family and taking care of sick children.

Hugs!

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 6:05pm

It's hard when you want to love somebody and they just won't let you. If only these skids would realize how much we are willing to give (love, not things).

I surprised myself when I cried years ago when SD's BM moved her to a different city for a year and we didn't see her as much. Even now, I get sad sometimes thinking about all the things I would like to do for her. It's not that she's hateful, she is just so immature and unappreciative.

I'm sorry you are sad.

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 6:26pm

Give yourself a break here. Can you put on your favorite song and listen to it a few times then finish playing the rest of the cd? I'm sorry I don't what happened but its best to sober up before you try to solve it. Hang in there and sending you (((HUGS))).

Bossladee's picture

Submitted by Bossladee on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 6:35pm

Sorry you are having a hard time.....holidays may be triggers for some, I know they are for me.
I went from being OSD closest 'relative' and a parental figure for both SDs, for 10+ years, to barely speaking to them over the last 2 1/2. It was extremely hard when the sh*t hit the fan, I spent a month in a depression, and still have pangs of regret and hurt. For the most part, however, I live my life these days. I do think of my SDS, at least once a day, but don't dwell. I feel hurt, sad, and angry still to this day, that things happened the way they did. Even if somehow SDs came back into our lives, I am done, it will never be the same. Sorry you are having a moment, it's what humans with emotions tend to do, so have it and try to feel better tomorrow.

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Wed, 11/27/2013 - 10:25pm

Hugs. Drinking will make you sad...more so...if you are already sad. I would also say it is a form of grief. You tried to do for and/or love them as your own. In return, you got tried like shit on a stick. I am guessing that is the case.