I forgot my bus pass at my Dad's. No biggie, money grows on Mom's outstreched arms.
I didn’t see this one coming.
I may have questioned DW’s parenting skills over the years but this time, DW got me beat!
SS takes public transport to get to school. Actually it’s semi-public. The buses run on the regular public transport corridors but are reserved for students only. This is not a free service. It costs about $50 a month. Normally, DW just pays $200 to cover it for 4 months. SS has a student bus pass which he can also use on the regular busses. SS has grown accustomed to using it and rarely asks us for lifts anymore.
Three times this year (since school started), SS has left his bus pass at his Dad’s place. DW would just give him the change for bus fare that week which amounts to about $20. That’s $60 so far that DW shelled out because SS forgot his pass at his Dad’s. I was angry with the situation because DW pays good money for the pass and she is now being gouged because of her son’s forgetfulness. DW says she doesn’t mind.
“What do you mean you don’t mind!?” I said. “Do you think it is right for SS to keep forgetting his pass and you keep covering it!?”
“Oh I am not covering it.” DW said. “I am taking the cash out of SS’s birthday money.”
SS keeps his birthday money cash in a strongbox in his room. DW has a copy of the key. Unbeknownst to any of us, whenever SS has forgotten his pass, DW would just simply take the money out of the strongbox.
Well, it just so happens that there is a big field trip coming up next week and SS wants to bring his birthday money to buy some souvenir. He opens up his strong box and - too his utter shock - $60 is missing!
“Mom! I’m missing $60 of my birthday money!” SS exclaims.
“Yes I know.” DW calmly explains. “I used that money to cover your bus fair.”
“But I have a pass!” SS says.
“Yes you do, but three times this year you left your pass at your Dad’s remember? The change I was giving you to cover the weeks you forgot your pass – where did you think it was coming from?”
“You never told me you were using my birthday money!”
“Oh, so you think I should pay for your bus fare each time you forget your bus pass?”
“But you never told me!”
“I believe my exact words to you were ‘I am not paying for your forgetfulness’. You forget stuff at your Dad’s, that is your problem. Not mine.”
Wow! I have to admit, I never saw this one coming.
- Drac0's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Yeah, I hope so. As I said
Yeah, I hope so. As I said below, punishments dished out by DW last as long as she is able to dissuade her own feelings of guilt. So I am crossing my fingers!
Next week. Thursday of next
Next week. Thursday of next week actually.
I bet he won't forget that
I bet he won't forget that bus pass again.
That's wrong. If I were you
That's wrong. If I were you I'd slip the kid 40 bucks back. Now I'm not saying it's wrong to make him pay for his bus fare but it is wrong not to give him the heads up about it and just steal the $ from his room.
If you send me the $60 (it's
If you send me the $60 (it's $60, not $40) , I will gladly slip it back into his strongbox.
I said 40 because the first
I said 40 because the first 20 was warranted. The fact that she just continued in silence was wrong.
My kids break 5-6 plastic hangers a week each because they leave them on the floor and step on them. I being fed up replacing hangers told them they are a quarter each and they have to pay for them because I am not doing it so at the end of every week I count them up and they pay to buy new ones. The difference is I communicated this to them I don't just go into their banks and help my self for them to be surprised later. Unsurprisingly the amount of hangers broken have decreased drastically. They get it now. I set a consequence and followed through. She didn't set a consequence she just did it unbeknownst to him. Had she communicated he was paying for I am sure there would be 40 bucks in his lock box. Do you see what I am saying?
No I don't but I guess we're
No I don't but I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree. Even with the money gone from SS's strongbox, only time will tell if the lesson is learned and that SS will remember to bring his bus pass from his Dad's place.
It wouldn't be stealing if
It wouldn't be stealing if she told him point blank after the first incident but she didn't she just continued to take it without informing him of the consequences.
DW just called me. Despite
DW just called me. Despite being woken up and told to get ready for school, SS opted to get changed and crawled back into bed and fell asleep. He missed his bus and missed first period. I told DW that he is to go to bed an hour early tonight. I guess since I didn't inform him of the consequence before hand, I am "stealing" an hour of his awake time?
My mil borrowed my steam
My mil borrowed my steam cleaner a few week's ago and it broke. She's away this weekend and thanks to this post I know its A okay to use the emergency key we have to go take her money from her dresser drawer to replace it. But its not stealing because I'm going to rationalize my actions.
Your MIL is not a minor.
Your MIL is not a minor.
I disagree with you. At some
I disagree with you.
At some point teenagers need a kick in the ass or they will continue their irresponsible behavior.
That being said........I highly, knowing DW's history, I highly doubt the validity of this story.
>I highly doubt the validity
>I highly doubt the validity of this story.<
Why do you bother commenting if you don’t believe what I am writing here Shaman? It’s a blog post, not a university dissertation.
::whistles:: I like it! Nice
::whistles:: I like it!
Nice to see her stepping up and teaching the kid a lesson! Now... I hope neither she nor you undoes the lesson by giving the kid $$ to cover whatever he wanted to buy, now that he has wasted $60.00.
Oh Gods! I hope not. DW does
Oh Gods! I hope not. DW does have a nasty tendency of rewarding this kid by recanting a punishment. Let's hope this punishment sticks.
Surprisingly he didn't cry! I
Surprisingly he didn't cry! I was half-expecting him too but he didn't.
Heh. No, it's not an old
Heh. No, it's not an old board game, but it is an old 1970's strongbox that DW inherited from her Dad.
Kids these days don't seem to
Kids these days don't seem to grasp what consequences are! Good going DW! I bet he won't be forgetting his bus pass anytime soon
Dup
Dup
I do agree she should have
I do agree she should have told him after the first time.
BUUUT...it is still better than just letting him get away with it.
And I thought it was not too bad to have left the pass at his dads only three times this year. THEN I read it was for the school year. WOW.
Are the passes just good for
Are the passes just good for the month? Or do they punch it for every ride.
They're smart cards. Meaning
They're smart cards. Meaning that every time you use it, a portion of the credit on it gets drained. Once it gets low, it gets flagged and the bus driver warns you that you 5 fares (or 4, or 3...) remaining. It's a relatively new system that got implemented about a year ago.
Well it is his *gift* money,
Well it is his *gift* money, so technically it does belong to him....but you are right, as long as SS is a minor child, ...
AYBABTU!
All your base are belong to us!
Applause to your DW and her
Applause to your DW and her effective parenting! SS is old enough to face the consequence for these actions, the fact that he responded with "I didn't know I was paying for it" goes to show he will most definitely not be forgetting his bus pass...
Mad girl crush on your DW today!
Should DW get weak...she for
Should DW get weak...she for sure should not give him all the money back...split it...giving him $30. If she gives it all back, it will send the message...mom has my back covered.
Why split it? I'm not arguing
Why split it? I'm not arguing with you, I just want to understand the rationale. To make her and SS feel better about the situation?
I totally agree with you. I
I totally agree with you. I am just say...as play B for a give & take case. It is just my DH...gave OSS $3000 to move that includes a truck not...he was over 30 at the time. He stated that he would pay it back. This year...OSS hits DH for money for wedding rehearsal dinner...it started out like this...I know you gave me money in the passed but. It will ccst us $2000 just the trip to the wedding. OSS is 35 years old and has been living with this girl for going on 6 years. I know DH is a Disney Dad. I say we pay half. DH had a couple of beers and withou talking to me...told OSS we will pay it all becasue that is our responsiblity. WTF!! What about that bitch...you breed with. I wanted to serve DH with divorce papers. MIL, BILS and Skids are all about money. Yet, Dh lives wiht me in my house that was paid for. I am housewife and he makes good money. When do you say no...to the money tree.
Shoot. When the time comes I
Shoot. When the time comes I will gladly pay $3000 to get SS out of the house! }:)
I am hoping it won't come to that but I already gave my DW the "he better shape up or ship out" speech. Since then DW has stepped up her game. I'm all for compromises and sharing of costs but DW was getting into the nasty habit of pulling SS out of one jam after another (and even trying to rope me into the process).
Reminds me of something my
Reminds me of something my grandmother said. “You bend a tree into shape when it is still a sapling, because when it is full grown, it is too late.”
WOW!!! There have been many
WOW!!!
There have been many times I've wanted to slap some sense into your DW over her coddling of that kid but this time she really stepped up! That was brilliant!!!