Passport Problems
It's been awhile. Nothing has really changed. We went back to court because poor BM spent so much time driving and she needs DH to basically help her be an active mother. BM lied during court like she always does. We are waiting for the judge to decide a location and time for exchanges. We exchange at a gas station while she exchanges on the side of a highway no matter what condition. The judge did say that both parties need to work together better and stop being petty.
Basically today we decided to get passports for the family. DH has primary not sole custody so BM would need to sign consent. It would benefit her if she ever wanted to vacation outside of the US. She flat out says no she will not do this and that's final.
I shouldn't be surprised. She is a witch and thinks that this will control DH and me but it sadly will effect SS because he can't be apart of any future vacation if there were any because she won't consent to it. This is second time we have asked for something and she has said no.
I told DH that it's time to live for my family and will need to cut the tie with SS. It's too hard planning him part of the family when BM makes it so hard.
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Us too. We'd love to do a
Us too. We'd love to do a Mexico cruise because they're do cheap from where we live. But bm will make it difficult and will not consent. So if we go, it will be without SS or he won't be able to leave the ship.
Sad.
I was just on a cruise and
I was just on a cruise and didn't need a passport... as long as the cruise ship departs from and returns to a US port one is typically not needed. And never was I asked for one when getting off the ship at the foreign ports. I DO have a passport, but my DH doesn't. He just had to show his birth certificate when going thru the registration process prior to embarkation.
Not sure if something has changed in 3 months? I went to the Caribbean, not Mexico.
I would of been a C U next
I would of been a C U next Tuesday on getting the kids passports (I do have sole custody) I figured it would be easier if exh signed on it, and we usually don't have any issue with things that benefit our kids. However at the time he was playing games I told him to sign please but would of been more than willing to threaten to tell the kids he was the reason they might not get to go. Wrong probably, but not any more so than a parent refusing to sign just to be a bitch. He did sign I met him with our kids to sign everything he was excited for them and they loved getting to Skype with him and use the cell to give him a virtual tour of the apartment and surrounding streets so in a way they got to have a half hour every couple days to "vacation with dad"
My DW and I struggled with
My DW and I struggled with this issue for years. She insisted that SS had to be on every vacation we took which was a complete PITA because SpermClan visitation was always right in the middle of the summer. We did not have enough time to go on vacation before he left for visitation and we did not have enough time to go before school started after SpermLand visitation.
Finally I put my foot down and told her that I was done postponing our lives for SpermClan visitation and if we did something that we thought SS would enjoy or benefit from we could do it again when he was available. In your situation I would make it very clear to SS that his BM would not allow him to get a PP if you do take an international vacation that he can't attend. Keep him abreast of the facts of his BMs manipulations.
We did get SS's PP when he was 6yo for a trip to Europe and the Middle East and renewed it when he was 14 but by then we had moved to PA and by the then the PP application process required the SpermIdiot's signature on the app. It was not required the first time we got him a PP.
As for vacations, as the CP household we finally just started telling the SpermClan the earliest start date and latest end date for their visitation. We never interfered with the duration of their CO'd visitation but we also did not let them dictate the schedule even though the CO said clearly that all that was required was for them to notify us in writing 60 days prior to the start of their summer, winter and spring visitations. The CO also stipulated that he could not miss school for visitation so the available periods for visitation were thankfully limited which minimized their ability to manipulate. As SS got in to his teens and was attending boarding school and had summer school trips we just told them when he was available. By then his personal summer activities did infringe on their time. Our philosophy on that was tough shit. When he was at JROTC summer camp, Military School leadership camps and on other summer honors activities he was not with us and we for sure were not going to allow the SpermClan to deny him those experiences and opportunities. We gave them the choice, agree or take us to court. They never took us to court so ultimately it became for the most part a non issue other than some bitching, moaning and gnashing of teeth.
In your case I would push this to a judge. Before you to that though it would probably help your case to have a trip tentatively planned so that you can demonstrate a specific requirement for a PP for the Skid.
Good luck.
All IMHO of course.
I remember reading a blog
I remember reading a blog about this a while ago but it was the BM who wanted the passport and dad was the ass.
Posters told the SM to have her husband fill out a form that would keep BM from getting the kid a passport. Others went on about the dangers of traveling to Mexico.
It's so sad that so many parents will allow their anger, hate and jealousy to prevent this their child from seeing the world.
Nope, no way no how. I have
Nope, no way no how. I have my kids on the passport watch list. My ex has too many out of the country contacts and he has threatened too many times to disappear with them. I know that he can always have fake ones done if he really wanted to, but forcing one parent to sign a passport when they don't trust the other is just wrong.
We wanted to take a trip to a
We wanted to take a trip to a Caribbean island, once in a lifetime trip. My grandmother wanted one last hurrah because she was going in for heart surgery where her odds were not good. Bm was given the intended itinerary, location, dates, everything. Yet she refused to allow passports because she 'wasn't going to let the kids have that experience without her"
Finally consented three days after the trip was over.
Thank you for all in input.
Thank you for all in input. BM does do this for control reasons only. It was the same for SS playing baseball. We did tell SS that it was because of BM. We feel that he needs to know that we try our hardest for him and she just doesn't see it that way.
We don't want the passport for any trip at this point. We just feel it is something that is good to have just in case this good old USA goes in the crapper. He is only 9 yrs old and we have a baby so trips aren't likely at this point. Yes we can wait and BM would be able to use the passport if she wanted. We know she wouldn't even use it because she doesn't have the money.